British Columbia
is a Canadian Province, eh.
British Columbia;
British Colombia (God's language)

Capitol: Victoria, A-RAB's HQ
Official Flower: pot leaf
Official Language: Canadian
Official Animal: sasquatch
Official Beer: kokanee
Motto: Hey, can you smoke shrooms?
Nickname: Northern Oregon
Premier: Gordon Campbell, currently in a Hawaiian drunk tank
Official Anthem: purple haze
Population: 50,000
Standard MPH: 25 stoned; 50 drunk
Principal exports: BC Bud
Principal industries: privatizing healthcare to Maximus Corporation
Fun Fact #1: BC moved from a barter system to paper currency in 1986
Fun Fact #2: in a thunderdome match in Vancouver in the 1970s, Greenpeace beat to death the Green Party

British Columbia (BC) is Canada's Oregon, except with more bears and more hippies. It is not famous for exporting Michael J. Fox to Beverly Hills to not spread the word about Stem Cell Research, environmentalism and the New Democratic Party.

It is famous for being the current home-away-from-America of Stephen Jr.

BC's HistoryEdit

BC TodayEdit

Economy Edit

British Columbia's economy is primarily centered on supplying cheap soft-wood lumber to United States of America in order to sustain the War on Terror.

City Edit

Having even established its own perky city, Victoria, BC has done well to clearcut nearly 90% of its old growth forests in order to supply Los Angeles with phone books and toilet paper for the 1990s.

Drunk Drivers Edit


The leader of BC busted for DUI

BC's celebrities are drunk drivers who get totally wasted and then threaten the lives of the general public. Sometimes, if selected by God's handlers (the Republican Party), a celebrity may even become leader of BC, like Gordon Campbell. (insert mug shot here)

Landmarks In BC Edit

A Typical Day In BCEdit

  • Locals arise at the Un-Godly hour of 3 AM, and Worship at the altar of their Unholy Bear-Gods, offering up choice morsels of smoked Salmon pate, honey, and unborn fetuses. Donning their Bear capes and Bear masks, locals will then perform their secret and never-before-witnessed "Bear-Dance-and-fornication-ritual" and having completed that, promptly go off to bed again until 7 O'clock.
  • 7 AM, Locals arise and noisily slurp Tea with one pinky in the air. Showering or bathing of any kind is frowned upon.
  • 8 AM off to work in the Marijuana fields.
  • 12 0'clock-Lunch. Usually Salmon, Honey or Unborn Fetuses.
  • 1 O'clock-Back to Ho'ing.
  • 4 O'clock-Quitting time. (The Lazy Bastards!)
  • 4-5 Tea Time!!!!!!!!
  • 6 O'clock-Supper, More Honey. (You can see their dependance on and alliance with the Bears here)
  • 7 PM to Midnight-Stroll the unpaved streets smoking pot, slurping Tim Hortons, and discussing Hockey and Bears.
  • Midnight to 3 AM-Sleepy time.

Strange Laws In BCEdit

It is illegal to kill a sasquatch in BC

Facts Edit


One of several bear monuments to Bear Headquarters in Victoria

  • Population: 50,000
  • Head of government: some drunk driver
  • Main industry: marijuana cultivation
  • Founded: when white people discovered it
  • Available in: red, green, blue and white (orange coming soon)
  • Will soon change its name to "America Columbia"
  • Is the best part of Canada
  • Its populace's preferred food is smoked salmon (they'll smoke anything there)

See AlsoEdit

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