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“Mexican Flu” Mutates into “Donkey Flu”

Steele: “There is no f#@king way anyone could have seeing this one coming!!! “Flu Pandemic Preparedness” is a liberal lie crafted by welfare labcoat larrys, just like global warming!”

Real Americans stay home sick and turn into welfare queens

The United States of Gaymerica. April 29, 2009 - News that the “Mexican Flu” has mutated into a much deadlier strand is sending new mass fear and panic through the Nation. The “Mexican Flu” has mutated into a new strand that our beloved Stephen Colbert discovery just recently in his secret laboratory. The new flu contains strands of the “Gay Flu”, the “Socialist Flu”, the “Islamic Flu”, the “Liberal Flu” and of course the “Mexican Flu”… was also able to obtain undeniable evidence that Gay Terrorists are responsible for the “Donkey Flu” epidemic.

The “Donkey Flu” Pandemic has already claimed the lives of many Real Americans, including that of un-american “Judas” traitor Sen. Arlen Specter. But unfortunately that was not to be the last casualty of the pandemic, for shocking news has been revealed that another Real American Hero has already been infected with the deadly flu, Pat Buchanan is starting to turn a bit lefty!!

According with the GOP the pandemic flu is rising into very deadly toxic levels,

“At this rate everyone in America will be gay, liberal, a welfare queen, socialist, and a mooslim… I don’t understand it, after the presidential election we though we contained the liberal flu… containment was compromised but no one predicted that it would reach critical level like this!! Everyone knows that the “Flu Pandemic Preparedness” program is just a hoax perpetuated by labcoat larrys just to get welfare paychecks!”

News that there is no cure has already caused enough mass hysteria to propose a new plan... is time for the GOP to colonize Mars and start a new Real American civilization...

One of the symptoms of the “Donkey Flu” is the delusional thinking of being a funny comedian…

The GOP in its Darkest Hour The GOP is still the Biggest Tent of Freedom Ever!!

Rush Limbaugh: Obama is actually Obamamon "god of destruction, pestilence, and death"!!!

GOP: What the f#@king hell happen???

The Democratic Liberal Gay Socialist States of Islamo-merica. April 28, 2009 - News that un-american secret bear-lover hippie gay closet Senator Arlen “Judas” Specter was actually a secret sleeper cell agent and democratic double agent has sent shockwaves through the GOP. It is now believed that treacherous Senator Arlen Specter knows all of the GOP’s secrets and is right now revealing them to the liberals the GOP's secret plan to rescue America from the Bears. We learned that the liberals promised Specter 30 pieces of silver if he joined their cause to bring gay marriage and socialist healthcare to America… disgusting… His treachery will put a setback on the GOP’s plan to save America.

But the news that the GOP had a secret double agent with them for years has spread the rumors of other secret mooslim double agents among their loyal Real Americans just waiting to betray us any moment.

“There is no other explanation, I mean how do you explain the fact that now Democrats are gaining more power? The fact that Gay Marriage is on the rise? Or the Fact that Real American Heroes are being persecuted successfully?… For God’s sake we are close of socializing medicine and making abortions mandatory!!! There is no other explanation!! We have traitors among our group!” declared a Republican Senator who swore he was not a secret mooslim-democrat, “the liberal democrats are shredding the Constitution to fit their agenda, someone has to stop them!”

Minnesota Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann has proposed that there is in fact a liberal conspiracy to weaken the GOP and America. She acknowledges that there is a secret link between the “Mexican Flu” and the Democrats rise to power (just as we suspected!! Take that skeptics!!!)

"I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu Mexican flu broke out then under another Democrat president Gerald Ford Jimmy Carter. And I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting coincidence."

Meanwhile ex-chairman of the GOP, someone called Steele was not happy with this betrayal, he only had this to say,

“I believe in Real America. Real America has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter “Freedom” in the Real American fashion. I gave her Real American educashun, but I taught her never to dishonor her family. She found a boyfriend; not an Italian but a mooslim. She went to a socialist gathering with him; she stayed out late. I didn't protest. Two months ago, he took her to the democratic convention, with Senator Specter. They made her drink from the cup of liberalism and gay ideology. And then they tried to take advantage of her by forcing her to gay marry with Hillary Clinton. She resisted. She kept her honor. So they beat her, like an animal with a book about “Evolution”. When I went to the hospital, her belief in God was broken and started to talk about how men came from monkeys. Her brain was scrub clean, held together by liberal beliefs. She couldn't even pray because she thinks she is an Atheist now. But I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life, a Real American girl. Now she will never be a Real American again. I went to the Democratic Congress, like a good Real American. These two liberals were brought to trial. The House Majority told them they did a good job – and send them to Hawaii as a reward. A vacation in Hawaii! They went free that very day! I stood in the halls of congress like a fool. And those two bastards, they smiled at me. Then I said to my wife, for justice, we must go to Don Limbaugh.”

We were told that Don Limbaugh will make an offer with Senator Specter… an offer that he cannot refuse…



The USSR of America. April 28, 2009 - Wiki… oh f@#k it!! Is over man, game over!!!! THAT DAMN UN-AMERICAN TRAITOR SWITCHED PARTIES!!!

We always suspected that that spineless gay-loving feminazi’s pussy licker coward would always pull a Benedict Arnold on us… but how could he do this right now? When the GOP Party is too weak!! when we need him more than ever!!! That ungrateful little bastard!!! After all the GOP has done for him and this is how he repay us????

IF you ask me I blame that mooslim tyrant, sources tell us that Obama and his gay liberal pals tried to convert Senator Arlen Specter into the commie gay mooslim lifestyle for years. They would send him gay pr0n on the mail, quote the Koran on his sleep, and read him the “Commie Manifesto” during lunch to brainwash his little brain. The overload of gaycommiemooslim messages was so much that it blew up his brain forcing a reboot that switched his mind into homo bear-loving liberal thinking…

This un-american Judas has made America unsafe by posting a message to the world that the GOP is weak, that The Gays will take over the world, and that Commie frenchy Bears are our new overlords and masters… thanks a lot traitor!

Mass Hysteria Panic Clogs Communist Government

Gay Marriage = Giving Dog Licenses To Cats = End of World

Series of Tubes predicts end of the world

The Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland States of Godforsaken America. April 28, 2009 - News of the coming pandemic continues to cause mass panic with no basis whatsoever that such catastrophe could happen, the labcoat larrys believe that chances for a ‘Black Plague’ level of catastrophe is just 30% probability. and we are going to die! obtained secret information from a place called “twitter” exclusive information from very reliable sources, according with sources not only will a pandemic will take place, but it will cause the collapse of civilizations in a global scale never seeing before. Real Americans will be forced to fend off for themselves in the new savage era of this post-apocalyptic world and return to barbarism as never before… but this time with guns and chainsaws!

We suspect that in this broken society all laws will cease to exist, which means The Gays will now be able to gay marry each other no matter what, liberals will try to create hippie gay communist settlements to preach the virtues of the gay communist paradise. And Bears will become the new overlords of North America (Canada will be nuked by North Korea).

But we got some wonderful news!! This will be a great opportunity for Real Americans to practice their bootstrap-lifting virtues! With no government Real Americans can pursue their libertarian conservative dreams at their heart contents! Small government? That’s so last civilization, forget that! How about no government! And don’t worry about gun laws because there is no laws and with no police or army we can get all the guns we want, we can even raid the military’s arsenal and shoot and kill anything and everyone since murder is ok! Who is going to stop us? You want to own your own nuke? No problem! Want a heaverly-armed ground attack aircraft like the Lockheed AC-130 gunship? We got plenty of those! And F-22A Raptor? No problem. You want M1 Abrams? Those are flying off the shelf!

In this new era of lawlessness we will see an increase membership to the NRA (we estimate a 5000% surge), thus converting 99.99% of the American population into Real American gun-loving bible-preaching Jesus-praying anti-gay anti-mooslim anti-communist conservatives… if you think about it liberals are “pussies” and with no police or army or even a commie government to defend them they are vulnerable… so whoever has the guns and the guts to survive this new era of lawlessness will be the new boss… which is why many of the pinko commies will surrender and convert to Real American values with no choice… which leaves that 00.01% of parasites trying to continue their feeble dreams of Gay Communist paradise on America.

Not to worry, in this new era now that Real Americans are the new majority The Greatest Maveratrix Ever will be able to win the Presidency in 2012! She will have the NRA’s vote, the Hell’s Angels’ vote, the KKK’s vote, the Neonazis’ vote, the vicious gang of post-holocaust, motorcycle-riding vandals’ libertarian’s vote, and the women’s vote (we suspect she will also get the lezbo vote… as long as we get to watch is fine!).


Sarah Palin for Post-apocalyptic America in 2012

“Swine Flu” “Mexican Flu”: The Hippie Bear-loving Liberal Plan to Destroy America

GOP demand Obama’s impeachment for making America unsafe!

The Mooslim States of Gaymerica. April 27, 2009 - The mooslim administration is endangering the future of America and now we have proof of it! For hours months has tried to find evidence to see if there is a connection between the “Swine Flu” “Mexican Flu”, Socialist Free Healthcare, and abortionist bear-lover Kathleen Sebelius. What we found was that the mooslim tyrant was fed up with calls for bipartisanship, and so he decided to use this scheme to pass his partisan policies without the consent of the people!

We were contacted by a trusted and reliable source that this is a Liberal Conspiracy! In fact they have undeniable proof!… which we don’t have right now, but they promise us to give it to us as soon as possible!! We must stop this fearmongering before it is too late! After all fearmongering is the GOPs job!

According with our sources this is how the Liberal Conspiracy works:

  • First the liberals try to impose a Socialist Free Healthcare policy on America, of course Real America Refuses.

  • The Liberals choose a feminazi abortionist lover like Kathleen Sebelius to run the Socialist Free Healthcare program once it is in place, but of course Real America refuses to nominate her.

  • The Obama Administration then undermines democracy by either lying there is such a thing as a pandemic and the disease is not real… OR it is real and they decided to unleash the “Mexican Flu” that they fabricated in their socialist gay laboratories run by atheist godless labcoat larrys or bears, I suspect bears… (we also suspect they are the ones who fabricated the ‘Gay Flu’ that is sweeping the Nation into gay marriage).

  • The mooslim tyrant decides to unleash the "Mexican Flu" Pandemic in Mexico, that way the illegal foreigners have an excuse to move to the US “seeking shelter” from the Flu and they promise to work for us for free while they stay with us… (thus we have free labor illegal aliens stealing America's jobs!!)

  • Real America panicked by the “Mexican Flu” fears that there won’t be enough vaccines to save Real America so they stay trapped in their homes. America’s economy is paralyzed as no one is working thus converting millions into ‘welfare queens’. News that America is now a welfare Nation causes a ripple effect.

  • Panic and pandemonium crashes the Free Market and Obama claims that his failed economic policies are not his fault, but that it was caused by the Pandemic, thus he lay forever blameless if the economy never recovers or if his economic plan was never meant to work, thus allowing him to further pass more socialist policies to "save" the economy.

  • The mooslim tyrant promises to give us the cure against the "Mexican Flu", but it is only reserved for gay socialists and the mooslim tyrant demands that they need abortionist lover Kathleen Sebelius as HHS secretary to start distribution of the vaccine. Real America will either die as Real American Heroes and Patriots or many will convert to gay Islam. Either way Socialist Free Healthcare is passed and Obama signs it and Kathleen Sebelius becomes the new socialist HSS secretary and makes Abortion mandatory…

  • Thus America will witness the birth of the Communist Socialist Empire States of the Peoples Republic of Russia-China-America, the First and Only Communist Empire of America…

But don’t worry, America is safe as long as we have Real American Heroes like Stephen Colbert! We learned that Stephen Colbert will be given dictatorial powers interim powers and take over America for Real Americans! …

…IF only America has chosen the right President none of this would had happen… Imagine if McCain Palin was our president?…

Swine Flu is a Liberal Conspiracy

Republican Senator Collins of Maine talks about the Pork liberal project, “Flu Pandemic Preparedness”… Pandemics are so overrated…

GOP calls Volcano Monitoring and Flu Pandemic Preparedness Pork Projects

The Paranoid States of America. April 27, 2009 - has some shocking news. We suspect that the bear-loving liberals are launching secret attacks to destroy the GOP and their credibility! First Real American Hero Bobby Jindal Whiteman spoke about the wasteful pork project known as “Volcano Monitoring” and surprise surprise a known Liberal Gay Volcano “chose” to erupt a few days later in Alaska (we suspect the volcano was trying to target The Greatest Maveratrix Ever). Then news that the GOP stripped the pork project “Flu Pandemic Preparedness” reached to liberal ears and what do you know? Now we have this so called Swine Flu Pandemic sweeping the globe… if you ask me the timing is too suspicious! The whole Flu Pandemic is laughable that it will never happen It is too early to tell, but we have our suspicion that this whole scare tactic is a liberal conspiracy just when we used our scare tactics about The Gays and Terrorism. not only has evidence that there is no such pandemic, but the idea that wide spread fear of such pandemic could affect and crash the now emerging yet weak free market is ridiculous, is nothing but liberal lies! the fundamentals of our economy are still strong the economy was already in the crapper because of Obama!

Nation, is time for the liberals to stop endangering America. Even IF ‘Swine Flu’ was real… the liberals were caught unprepared! Did you know that the Obama Administration still doesn’t have a HHS secretary? Shocker, I wonder where their priorities lie.

The GOP knows this is a state of emergency in which fear has gone wild and it is destroying America. They promise once they are in power again they will cut off special funding to these welfare projects like Volcano Monitoring, Flu Pandemic Preparedness, and Alien Invasion Watch… wait Alien invasion???… OMG WE ARE GOING TO BE INVADED BY ALIENS, RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!!!!!!

  • UPDATE: News that a Global Pandemic that could wipe out the human species is already brewing controversy! Hard line Orthodox Joos The Nation of Israel demands that the unkosher term "Swine Flu" be changed to the less offensive term "Mexican Flu". Since Israel is the home of The Baby Jesus we should agree to their demands suggestion.

Mooslim Tyrant Mandates Communist Socialist Free Healthcare

Free Market Crashes, Bears release Swine Virus on US after news of free healthcare

The Communist States of China-America. April 26, 2009 - was shocked to learn that the mooslim socialist frenchy administration bullied, harassed, and blackmailed Republican Senators to accept communism and Islam into their lives or else… but thankfully these Real Americans Heroes stood their ground and fought the encroaching Communist Government, it's leader, and the hippie bear-loving liberal army; they knew that the battle would be vicious and they will have to sacrifice everything for our Nat… so the Republicans decided to establish a TACTICAL RETREAT… they are not caving ok? That’s a liberal lie!!

News that healthcare will be free for all Americans only socialist gay mooslim Americans sent shockwaves through the Free Market. The mooslim leader seems to have forgotten that America has the best healthcare in the world already, just because the poor cant afford it doesn’t mean it should be given for free! These commie socialists should just back off… that includes you liberal media!

But Real Americans wont surrender to the communists, instead will do everything we can to stop the communist gay mooslim menace... ANYTHING, our forces continue to grow stronger and nothing can stop us now!!

  • UPDATE: Nation, we finally found evidence that links the Swine Virus with the passing of free healthcare! We suspect that this is the mooslims tyrant attempt to either force us to convert to gay Islam to get free medical care or to kill all Real Americans who refuse free healthcare... either way we are doom...

Obama’s Presidential Report Card Eaten By Dog


The Secret Muslim asking if an "F" is a good grade. For more news photos, click here.

GOP gives him an F

The Socialist Communist States of Neo-Russia. April 24, 2009 - As you know the mooslim leader has been our tyrant for almost a 100 days and the deadline is almost here. was able to obtaine shocking information regarding the Nation’s mood and her views of the mooslim leader. Sources tell us that the survey demonstrates that the majority of Americans thinks Obama is doing a good job… Now sure that’s nice and all, you are probably thinking… “well doesn’t that mean he is doing a good job for America?” sure, a great job… for SOVIET AMERICA!!!

The survey not only shows that the majority of America approves of the Obama Administration, but also that the majority of Americans have joined the ranks of the communist liberal party!! Ever since Obama became our dictator the world as we knew it has changed. We have lezbians terrorizing the world and gay butt-pirates plundering booty and harassing our heterosexual sailors and soldiers. The world economy is spiraling into a depression that could trigger the collapse of Western Civilization into a perpetual New Dark Age. There are rumors that wild animals are invading our welfare offices to raid our tax payer’s coffers to pay off their ‘welfare lifestyle’… Hard core drugs have not only been legalize to pay off our National debt but now is being marketed to our children. Evildoers are now running free and rampant within our government to undermine democracy to their heart's content. And now news that Obama disclosed State Secrets to the public he has made America and the world more vulnerable to the Gay Terrorist Attacks…

I ask you, does that look like he is doing a good job? disagrees, he gets an F!!!

Click here to grade Hussein Obama yourself!


GOP demands mooslim leader to stop torturing the American public

The Gayest States of Gaymerica. April 24, 2009 - would like to release a National Emergency. We just learned that the mooslim administration will be releasing disturbing graphic pictures in May 28, the week of Memorial Day! According with sources the pictures will contain gay images, from homo-erotic scenes to gay weddings! (I don’t mind keeping the gir-on-girl ones for myself… for research) This is clearly a disservice to our Nation’s Armed Forces who kept this country safe from Gay Terrorist attacks. No doubt this is an attempt to further the mooslim leader’s Gay Agenda. recommends all Real Americans to turn off your tv, stay away from the series of tubes, and isolate yourself in the most remote parts of America on May 28. We are telling you this for your own protection, one look at those gay photos and you will become gay yourself! Don’t tell us we didn’t warn you…

Come to Independent Texas You All!!

Travelocity recommends to bring your own guns and bibles

Now that Texas will may could, sometime in the future, will reclaim back its independents, has decided to release a promotional video to bring new tourism to this proud, Real American, and future Independent Republic of Texas since they wont get any additional Federal funding by leaving.

The Department of Tourism has released this new video for Texas, hasn’t seeing the video yet, but we are sure it will bring new tourists to the future new Real Nation!


Real America demands US Army to take action!

The Gay States of Sappho. April 23, 2009 - News that more women have been swept by the Gay Fever has alarmed Real American men and this is just the beginning. Women are not just leaving men for other women, tantalized by the insidious gay lifestyle, but now they are getting Gay Married!!

Fear that the Homo Storm has arrived to America is causing uproar through out the Nation, but it is believed that it is not alone, it has also brought friends like the Homo Tornado and the Homo Blizzard… soon all America will become a Gay paradise…

“Listen I got no problem with lezbos as long as they are hot… and I have no problem with a girl kissing another girl… after all they are doing it for us guy… and I don’t mind when there is a girl on girl action, so long as I get to watch… and maybe later participate… after all the only reason that lezbians are lezbians is because they didn’t find the right man, yo know what I mean, right?… But gay marriage?? Foget ‘bout it!!!” replied a Real American Man.

Our priests doctors are still searching for a cure for The Gay Disease with little results. For now they are suggesting long prayers, praises to Jesus, and heterosexual pr0n to keep the Gay Demons away. But fear not, the resolve of Real America to stop this threat has not dwindled, and we will do whatever it takes to stop the spread of the Gay Disease!


Is the boobs, not even straight women cant say no to boobs…

Mooslim Leader Will Prosecute Real Americans for Being Patriotic

IF a Cheney says that’s not torture, then it is not torture. After all a Cheney knows what does torture feels looks like

Real Americans demand "Patriotic Interrogation Techniques" to be kept secret

The Patriotic States of America. April 23, 2009 - When the mooslim leader declared that America did torture, Real America was shocked that the mooslim leader dared to tell the world our biggest secret! According with sources Obama should have kept quiet; everything would have been fine if it wasn’t for him and his big mouth! Real America is pissed and does not approve of this breach of Security!!! But the good news is that suspects that the mooslim tyrant has violated America’s law by exposing State Secrets and vital information of National Security so he should be impeached immediately…

Real Americans and the GOP suspects that this so called “investigation” is nothing more but an attempt by liberals for a “witch hunt”. This is a plot to Destroy Real America! Thanks to him our children have no future!

Obama would rather hunt down Real Americans for being patriotic rather than hunt down the Real Threat to America!! The Gay Terrorists… worst, the mooslim leader is not even hiding the fact that he is secretly recruiting sleeper cell agents to his cabinet. In fact, we have evidence that Liberal Agents are already infiltrating our schools and churches to spy on Real Americans!!

Obama, we Real Americans are not only the most Real American and the only Real Patriots in this Great Country, but we love America more than you hippie bear loving liberal love The Gays. How dare you question our loyalty!! So leave us alone!!!

Fox News is at the forefront to fight off the mooslim administration for unconstitutionally spying on Real Americans with no proof!! Damn their so called “National Security” and Active Investigations, we want answers now!!! How dare the mooslim tyrant to spy on us!! This is illegal!!! But don’t worry, will fight to protect the rights of all Americans Real Americans against these unconstitutional abuses! has also learned from secret sources that no only does torture work, BUT the Bush administration was never aware that they were torturing! You see the whole thing was a misunderstanding, what happened is that the Bush administration “suggested” if they should torture, they never said “they must torture”. But like always “the help” Our Brave Real American soldiers misheard him. The Brave men and women in uniform loves America soooo much that they though Bush was actually approving torture so we could defend America, and since our soldiers love America so much they were willing to take the fall when the time was right to do anything for America… the whole thing was a clear misunderstanding… Don’t worry soldiers we accept your apology, it happens.

So there you go, no one in the Bush Administration had any idea this was happening so “mea culpa”, but ignorance is not a crime! In fact I will go so far as to say that this so called “torture” techniques don’t look that painful to me, but listening to liberals complaining on how Bush "violated" human rights and how America "violated" the Geneva Convention seems a bit exagerated... now that’s torture!

When this is all over, Real America will learn the truth and the mooslim administration will be forced to apologize for slandering America and for revealing Ultra State Secrets… then we will forget this ever happen… like IT NEVER HAPPEN… after all history has a liberal bias.

Liberal Hippie Labcoat Larry Proclaims Crazy “Theory” about Oil

Lies!!! Oil was magically created by God so we could power our Big American cars!!

GOP demands stoning of liberal heretic

The Christian States of Jesusland. April 22, 2009 - Secretary of Energy Steven Chu has been rambling about his crazy liberal “theories” over the years. Recently this hippie labcoat larry decided to spew some liberal nonsense about oil and some “theory” called “tectonic plates” and “continental drift”. Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) had enough of his crazy ideas, so he decided to hold a hearing and have Secretary of Energy Steven Chu to explain himself to the committee or risk the danger of being sent to an asylum.

Rep. Joe Barton was vicious and he grilled Secretary of Energy Steven Chu to explain his crazy “theories”. First Joe Barton asked where Alaskan oil originated, but Steven Chu gave an erroneous answer and responded with his heretical belief.

(Actual Quote) Rep Joe Barton: “Isn’t it obvious that at one time it was a lot warmer in Alaska and on the North Pole? It wasn’t a big pipeline that we’ve created from Texas and shipped it up there and put it under ground so we can now pump it up?”

Of course Secretary of Energy Steven Chu denied this idea, WHICH IS TRUE by the way. Instead he continued to insist that the oil in Alaska was created by “continental drift”

(Actual Quote)“No,” Secretary Chu explained, “there are continental plates that have been drifting around throughout the geological ages.” The “driving force” for Alaska’s oil formation during the Triassic era 200 million years ago, according to University of Alaska geologist Mark Rivera, “is plate tectonics, which is the unifying theory of geology.”

Joe Barton was flabbergasted by the concept of continental drift and he questioned Chu if he was sure that oil didn’t actually reach Alaska through a secret Texas pipeline (a secret pipeline that The Greatest Former President Ever built with the help of his Saudi friends).

…Joe Barton then asked security to take away Steven Chu and sentenced him to burn at the stake for being a witch…

Un-american News: Asian Edition: Japan Goes RED!!!

South Korea is still a Capitalist Asian Friend of America

The Communist Red Nation of Animeland Japan. April 22, 2009 - Ha! This is why I hate the Japanese the US cannot afford to trust Japan in these difficult times! News that Japan has turned Red has spread through out Asia, we have confirmation that China is throwing a tantrum, complaining that ‘going commie’ was their idea first; Japan is just stealing their thunder.

Nation, as a South Korean I can tell you my country will never go commie… well, the half one at least… the other half one... the one with the food… Take that Japan! How does it feel now to have commies in your backyard?? Uncomfortable isn’t it??

Not even the Yakuza (the Japanese Mafia, but instead of Italians and guns they have Japanese with cool Katanas to behead their debtors. And they are legal in Japan!) has been unable to avoid the tides of the economic crisis. There was a time that these hardcore crime syndicates were the most feared in Japan… then they switched to a more "Corporate friendly" image... now the organization’s membership has been forced to downsize their numbers. So the majority of their Yakuza members have been fired with no severance package... but they get to keep their weapons as a departure gift!

A young Yakuza told us life was not easy these days,

“Sure… is hard now… but things will get better soon. Sure a lot of the old generation are complaining about the changes that occurred within the Yakuza organization over the years… but the old geezers must understand that things have changed… Out are the ‘Old Ways’ of the mean streets and back alley deals… instead we now have corporate boardrooms, corporate hedgefunds and the Nikkei 225… You know, the Yakuza organization is now like investment banks… but with guns… you know, Goldman Sachs with guns! Throwing away traditional Yakuza values for capitalist-style values was the best thing to do and there is nothing wrong with that!… well not now, but soon you will see!!”

One of the victims of the economic crisis is an old Yakuza in which we will call him “Mr. Happyface” for reasons of security (ours of course). Mr. Happyface has 50 years of experience with the Yakuza organization, he has seeing things... dangerous things... illegal things... probably immoral things too... and he has been recently laid off, now "Mr. Happyface" flips burgers and clean toilets for a living,

“ In the past, your rank was decided on courage and the sacrifices you made to the group, including being ready to give up your life… but then all that changed… now it was all about dividends and cooperatives and hedgefunds… I blame youngsters these days. We used to make our money exclusively through sex, drugs and gambling… then these young punks decided we should invest all of our money in finances… like banks… and subprime mortages… Bushido, the yakuza's samurai spirit, is disappearing. The disappearance of those values is not only bad for yakuza but for Japan as a whole. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE! I bring shame to my ancestors!!!” then the old Yakuza took out his katana, and he proceeded to gut his bel… OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING??? IS THAT SEPPUKU???!!!!



Communism: Now with a 100% more MOE

Mooslim Leader Hunts Down Loyal Bushies Undermines America’s Armed Forces

waterboarding a new fad among kids

The Patriotic States of Real America. April 22, 2009 - News that America does in fact torture has put all of Real Americans at risk. The mooslim tyrant decision to announce to the world our secret “interrogation techniques” have not only undermined America’s Armed Forces resolve to fight The Gay Terrorist Threat, but it also caused a loss of morale within our troops. The men and women in uniform feel like they cannot trust a gossiping tattletale mooslim if he cannot keep our secrets safe… imagine if he actually knew our National Security Secrets! The Chinese The Taliban will be all over it by now!

Now I don’t want to call The Greatest Previous Administration Ever liers, but there is a good explanation on why they didn’t tell us the whole truth… it kept us safe! Plus, according with reliable sources All Real Americans support torture! It even has the Jesus’ Seal of Approval!

“Do unto others as you would have them NOT do unto you” The Real American Bible

The only ones who seem to be calling for a ridiculous "special" investigation is the gay bear-loving liberals, talk about a waste of taxpayer money. Besides as it has been stated before the terrorists were not harm at all were not harmed that much… in fact the Geneva Convention was not broken because it is a liberal law and it doesn’t count!

In Fact if you ask me those gay mooslims terrorists should be thanking us, after all we did them a favor! According with reliable sources mooslims are actually closeted masochists and we helped them accelerate the process of meeting Allah very quickly! You are welcome!

Mooselim Terrorist Attacks School

Let this be a lesson, mooselims are not pets!!

Brave 8th graders overpower mooselim terrorist

The Patriotic States of Alaska. April 22, 2009 - would like to announce that the brave men and women in uniform children of “Colony Middle School” have captured and executed a mooselim suicide bomber!

According with witnesses, the children grew suspicious when they saw a baby moose approaching their school. One of the students noticed that the moose was wearing ‘foreign clothes’ and was shouting “Death To America!” and “Allah is Great!” When the children realize that he was a mooselim they decided to take him down.

“I was scared… I though I was going to die, but we easily overpowered him… we used to do this all the time with our teachers…” declared a local class bully.

The Greatest Maveratrix Ever welcomed the news of the death of the mooselim, but she was concerned that the children took the matter in their own hands without adult supervision or with no weapons to defend themselves.

“…Oh well… I am not surprise that these kids took down that mooselim… I was happy no one was hurt… dontcha know that ever since I cut off science, math, biology, chemistry, and other sciency classes the liberal curriculum… dontcha know that I replaced it with creationism, Intelligent Design, morning prayer, and Sunday School… gosh, I am sure the liberals will use this event to criticize me as always… after one hour of classes at the end of the day our students are pretty much idle and bored… which is why I will demand the introduction of a new bill… gosh, it will pretty much allow our children to buy, carry, and use firearms on school grounds for self-defense against the mooselim and Polar Bear threat! It also means that our children will need some new training in the use of firearms… so I am thinking we should teach that in school too! Hey I got a new idea, how about we teach them how to hunt? Gosh, we could use their help hunting down those “evil” wolves too!” declared Sarah Palin and infamous mooselim hunter. salutes the students from “Colony Middle School” from keeping America safe… who knows what other “terrorist pets” are out there to undermine Real America. demands the mooslim administration to fund our schools with more guns and weapons to defend themselves against the mooselim threat! There is nothing more important than keeping our children safe and give them a good educashun!


Judge Hamilton: Praise Allah, how did they found out?

The Christian States of Christian America. April 21, 2009 - Real American and Senior Senator from Oklahoma James Inhofe is leading a Crusade against the mooslim leader. was shocked to learn that Obama has chosen Judge Hamilton as his judicial nominee. Everyone knows that Hamilton is a well known secret mooslim, terrorist, bear-lover, and gay butt pirate… Worst, he is a SOCIALIST!! The only ones who seem to be shocked about these facts are the liberals, and they have denied they knew anything about it!

James Inhofe is one of the few Real Americans in the senate who is trying to stop the rise of the mooslim tyranny. This Real American Hero has brought great service to America, like attempting to base America’s foreign policy on the book of Genesis, after all God is the Great Decider. He is also one of the Real Americans who has not watched Al Gore’s hippie documentary about Global Warming… sshhh… no one tell him the ending, we don’t want to spoil him the surprise…

Real Miss USA Leads Fight Against Gays


Look at that sexy Real American body, how can a gay man say no to that???

Miss California: I will buy the world puppies to make them happy… and protest gay marriage because two dudes kissing is not hot… and eeeww… I will never kiss a girl either… gross…

The Hottest State of Hotlifornia. April 21, 2009 - Nation, I have fallen in love!!!… She is smart… she is sexy… she is a true Christian… and she is a homophobe!! she is a Real American!!! She is perfect for me!! Now if only I could get that restraining order voided I should be set

Yes, Real America fell in love with Carrie Prejean (Miss California) and she was very close of winning the Miss REAL USA Pageant. But the hippie bear-loving liberals did not want any of that and tried to sabotage the competition. How Dare you Sir!! Miss California is a wholesome God fearing good girl and she answered honestly, rather than lie and convert to the gay agenda!!! say, does the gay agenda suggest that Miss California kiss the winner Miss North Carolina Kristen Dalton? She bravely confronted The Gays and held her ground!

Miss Carrie Prejean was raised in a Real Christian family who taught her true Christian values that shaped her belief, which is why she hates the gays she disapproves of gay marriage, that is a threat to her beliefs, her sexuality, and her future heterosexual marriage… is just a coincidence that her straight sister is a gay rights supporter and gay marriage her sister is the black sheep of the family and suspected to be a lezbo and an American-hater.

Gay bear-loving and butt pirate Perez Hilton tried to trick Miss California to denounce her belief in God by bribing her with the Miss USA tiara. Just like when Satan tried to trick Jesus when he was fasting in the desert that eating dietary cookies didn’t count since they had no fat on it… nice try you trickster…

Nation, gay marriage is a threat to the sanctity of heterosexual marriage for All Real Americans; specially in the South, for some reason the liberals don’t like marriage between a brother and his sister or father and his daughter to keep the purity of the white blood a man and a woman… and The Gays and Hollywood wont stop pushing their Gay Agenda… not even a wholesome competition is safe from the clutches of these sexual deviants! How dare you stain the Honorable Traditions of the Pageantry competitions!

Nation, is time to implement Plan B to deal with the Gay Problem once and for all!

seriously I would still bone Carrie Prejean... now if only I could convince her that a threesome with another girl is not an abomination in the eyes of the Lord

Mooslim President Cant Keep Secret

mooslim leader will release Bush’s memos about Space Aliens buying subprime mortgage loans

The Tattletale States of Rat America. April 21, 2009 - is sadden to announce that some of our staff members will be “force” to take a leave of absence because he gave the Bush’s administration a bunch of ideas on how to torture people, he even gladly volunteered to torture these terrorists to safeguard America! one of them just happened to take a intern job with one of the The Greatest Former President Ever’s administration lawyers on how to circumvent the law regarding torture “interrogation techniques”, nothing really serious but the mooslim administration is making it into a Federal Case… talk about exaggerating… If you ask me the liberal media continues to be biased against Real America once again…

This is further proof that the mooslim administration has no regards for the safety of our Nation! A Real American would had just kept quiet for the sake of National Security… like Dem Rep Jane Harman, she may be a democrat but at least she loves this country more than she loves terrorists or bears. Her reason to keep secret about the Bush’s administration secret warrantless wiretapping, before the 2004 election that allowed Bush to win a second term without any difficulties that could have changed our country’s history and avoid this whole mess, was not politically motivated… that’s just some liberal lie… she just loves our country. Learn from Dem Rep Jane Harman, Obama!!!

Nation, we cannot trust the mooslim leader who is willing to shake the hands of our enemies! Anyone who does is a traitor and hates America!!

”National Organization for Man Lady Marriage” Joins The War on Gays

unknown groups forms overnight, surprises GOP and ask for their endorsement

The Heterosexual States of America. April 21, 2009 - News that the Gays are attempting to retroactively make Stephen Colbert gay caused a chain reaction this week. A new anti-gay group was formed overnight and they are joining the cause to stop The Homo Storm before it sweeps America. The “National Organization for Man Lady Marriage” created a new anti-gay marriage ad and is scaring the Gays!… while they are rolling in the floor in a convulsive laughter… I guess the fear caused a strange hysteria among the gays… oddly this has been happening lately…

Nation, we must not yield to our cause to stop the Homo Storm. News that the Homo Storm is gathering in New York has forced Real American and The Glorious Chairman of the Republican Party to seek shelter in another State safe from The Gays who are attempting to also make him retroactively Gay. Rush Limbaugh officially announced that he is moving to The Seceding State of Georgia The Independent State of Georgia.

IF only Obama haven’t outlawed torture “soft” interrogation techniques, we could stop the Gay Threat…

The Gay Threat is real Obama!! We must stop the Homo Storm before it gets our children. Please someone think of the heterosexual children!!

Georgia in the Forefront for Secession Independence

Real Americans will vote a return for segregation and slavery next week State’s Rights and introduce a new “stimulus package”

The United Patriotic State of Georgia. April 21, 2009 - is proud to announced that the Georgia Senate threaten by a vote of 43-1 to secede seek Independence from and even disband downsize the Communist States of Mooslim America.

Here is an actual excerpt:

“In fact, Senate Resolution 632 did a lot more than merely threaten to end this country. It stated that under the Constitution, the only crimes the federal government could prosecute were treason, piracy and slavery…In other words, in the infinite, almost unanimous wisdom of the Georgia Senate, Michael Vick is being imprisoned illegally, Bernie Madoff should serve no time for stealing $60 billion and the Unabomber must go free. In fact, the federal penitentiary in Atlanta should be emptied of its inmates…

In other words we can finally hunt down those Somali and Zombie Pirates that have been haunting our American ships… I am looking at you Johnny Depp! News of the resolution brought cheers from radical, domestic terrorists, and ponzi schemers Real Americans that have been unfairly incarcerated by the Federal Communist government.

…The resolution goes on to endorse the theory that states have the right to abridge constitutional freedoms of religion, press and speech. According to the resolution, it is up to the states to decide “how far the licentiousness of speech and of the press may be abridged.”…

Finally!! We can now get rid of the liberal media once and for all! Censorship now, Censorship tomorrow, Censorship Forever!!!… excluding, we are after all Real Americans and would never say anything bad about Georgia

…The resolution even endorses “nullification,” the legal concept that states have the power to “nullify” or ignore federal laws that they believe exceed the powers granted under the Constitution. That concept has a particularly nasty legacy. It helped precipitate the Civil War, and in the 1950s and early ’60s it was cited by Southern states claiming the right to ignore Supreme Court rulings ordering the end of segregation…

Many men in white sheets with hoods cheered about the “good news”, better yet they started to ask if they could start bringing poor starving African children to the country so these "charitable" and "benevolent" men could give them “welfare jobs” to help the financial state of Georgia and Real Americans… oops… and of the African slaves children too… now that those pesky Federal laws are being deregulated.

Finally, the resolution states that if Congress, the president or federal courts take any action that exceeds their constitutional powers, the Constitution is rendered null and void and the United States of America is officially disbanded. As an example, the resolution specifically states that if the federal government enacts “prohibitions of type or quantity of arms or ammunition,” the country is disbanded. learned that the NRA has not only endorsed and approved of this resolution, but that they have been endorsing State Secession Rights for years! gives their full support for the secession Independence of the State of Georgia, give them hell boys!!

Cows Are The Real Cause to Global Warming. Vegans Ignore Threat

Vegan liberals hate the planet

The Inconvenient Truth of America. April 20, 2009 - don’t usually buy the “liberal agenda” that Global Warming is real, but like Stephen Colbert we only accepted it because the Free Market has spoken. So was shocked to learn that we found the real cause of global warming, COWS!!! Evidence suggests that cows formed an alliance with the Polar Bears to melt their polar caps so they could flood Real America!! Cows are releasing obnoxious gases into the atmosphere to destroy America. Worst, we learned a way to combat this new threat against our planet but the hippie liberal vegans and the people of PETA has refused our idea to eliminate this threat!! suggested to these tree-huggers that we should eat more cows, the more we eat the better for the planet and they refused to join our cause!!! Clearly these hippies don’t want to save our planet, it was all a lie!!

Nation, we suspect that there are sleeper cell agents in America helping these bovine agents. Which means if you allow your own ‘flatulence’ ‘freedom winds’ to escape the terrorists win! You must hold it indefinitely inside you; otherwise you are helping to bring Global Warming!!!

Now the liberal hippies think they know how to combat Global Warming and how to “save the planet” in their own way. But I say we let the free market decide, for example America has a problem with nucular waste “glow in the dark liquid”. Now, we tried everything to solve this problem, first we tried to inter it under injun reservations, we tried giving it away to “undesirables” as a valentine present…, we even tried to sell it as toothpaste… wouldn’t be cool if your teeth could glow in the dark? Of course you will be loosing your gums.

But luckily we found a solution to the problem!!! Thanks to the Glory of the Free Market and unregulated laws America has found a partner to help our problem! Taiwan is willing to take our Nuclear and Toxic Waste “junk” for a reasonable price. The idea is that Taiwan will take “our junk” and they will give it to their “undesirables” and pay them a dollar “to keep it safe”. Now, if we could just stop these “undesirables” from protesting the tossing of “the junk” in their backyard… what?… what do you mean they aren’t against the idea?… what do you mean the poor people are welcoming our Nuclear Waste and take it gladly for American Dollars?… what do you mean they are for real?… Really??? They will take our Nuclear Waste for how much??? Do they actually know that this ‘glow in the dark liquid’ could cause radioactive mutations?… They don’t care?! GREAT SEND THEM ALL OF IT! Good News! After a long and difficult negotiation we were able to convince the poor to take our… what do you mean their politicians are against the idea??? We already sent the shipment!! Never mind… looks like the hippie bear-loving liberals of Taiwan have decided to embrace the Glory of Communism… They are undermining the voice of “Real Taiwanese”!


Real Americans sue for a TRILLION DOLLAAARS!!!

The Patriotic States of Real America. April 20, 2009 - supports the Real Americans fighting against the communist government, specially with frivolous law suits. The Thomas More Law Center, notorious for their (epic fail) defense of the creationists in the Dover, Pennsylvania “intelligent design” trial famous for championing the Intelligence Design trial, is once again championing the cause of Real Americans. This time they are fighting the slanderous idea that Real Americans are terrorists. How absurd!!!

The fact that the mooslim leader continues to neglect the safety of America against THE Real Threat like The Gays, Real America continues to be exposed to the dangers of Gay Mooslim Terrorists.

Obama’s Anti-Torture Policy Anti-interrogation Policy Makes America Less Safe

Torture is just a “slap” in the wrist… Liberal, stop whining!!

The Ghost of Saddam Hussein Approves New Policies

The Mooslim Communist Liberal States of America. April 20, 2009 - Many Real Americans were shock to learn that America does torture… and now they are angry that Obama spoiled the surprise!! Many Real Americans agree they did not want to know about it!

“Typical liberal media… as soon as Obama tells them the shocking facts, they go ahead to publish it without our consent… not all of us want to know the truth facts!! They ruined the surprise! I used to get a tingly sensation trying to figure out if we did torture or not… heck that was one of the reasons I held gaming night with my family, to try figure it out and it was fun!! Now Wednesday night is ruined… I am going to have to find a new game… Plus I don’t like these facts that we did tortured… Facts have a liberal bias, so I don’t think I trust these facts…” replied a Real American. is disappointed with the mooslim administration. We are angry that the mooslim leader ruined the surprise!!! Why does he keep doing this to us?? He is ruining everything!!! First the mooslim leader accused Real Americans of being terrorists, now he spoiled one of the greatest surprises in America…

Plus, there is no evidence that these so called “torture” was ever harmful to anyone. It has been suggested that these were ‘soft’ torture and ‘light’ torture… with a 50% less pain! (coming soon ‘Ultra Light’ Torture, "With less pain but with more filling!") Nation, it is a known fact that Torture does work!! Just ask McCain, he told the Vietcong everything from “Who killed Roger Rabbit?” to “Does this make me look fat?” and I can assure you answering that last one is one of the most difficult things to do in life…

Nation… thanks to Obama bin partypopper, torture has become illegal, putting America at risk… which has left us to find other ways to “interrogate” certain “undesirables” and The Gays to find out more about their Gay Agenda.

Obama Wants to Socialize Series of Tubes


Further proof that Obama is a Frenchy mooslim foreigner

Timer Warner forced to “pleasure” truckers to survive

The Communist States of Series of Tubes of Commie-America. April 20, 2009 - has some terrible news. Time Warner had some excellent plans to impose excessive new fees on heavy users of its Series of Tubes services so they could afford their new yatchs, a new mansion, and their fleet of new Ferraris bring new fees so they could clean up The Series of Tubes.

“Listen, the Series of Tubes are clogged with filth and other crap… think of the Series of Tubes like a buffet. Now the consumer will eat and eat and eat so much, that it will clog their arteries and when they go to take a dump they dump all of their filthy content into the Series of Tubes clogging the information highway information sewage… thus nothing can pass through… Do you understand? We just want to stop people from clogging our pipes, that’s all!” declared Timer Warner.

According with Timer Warner there is no money to unclog the pipes, recent studies demonstrate that doubling the Series of Tubes capacity of a neighborhood costs an average of $6.85 a home A BILLION DOLLARS! And there is no truth that the largest cable company in Japan, sells service as fast as 160 megabits per second for $60 a month, only $5 a month more than its slower service… that’s just a socialist liberal lie!!!

Nor there is truth that when AOL switched from charging by the hour to unlimited access, their business exploded... more liberal lies!!.

Do not fall for the liberal lies! Everyone knows that they spew crap from their mouth to clog our Series of Tubes!

The Greatest President Ever Surplus Economy is Being Raided by Communists!!!


Obama will enslave all Whites Americans!!!

Bush ignored memo "Housing Crisis Determined to Strike in US" Nothing to see, move along…

The Capitalist States of America. April 20, 2009 - is brining you some terrible news. We just learned that some idiot was responsible for the housing crisis by ignoring some me… what?… who??… yikes!!! Its Obama’s fault!!! Yep, the housing crisis occurred because Obama was running for president, the idea of a black man mooslim as president scared all of our investors that no one wanted to buy a house in a country with a foreign mooslim as a leader… there is no truth that Bush ignored this problem for years, that’s a liberal lie!!!

The Ultra Rich Real America is angry with Obama’s socialist policies and high taxes. Many of them feel like is time to impeach Obama and have a Real American as our new president.

(actual Quote) Their anger takes many forms: There is rage at Obama for pushing to raise taxes (“The government wants me to be a slave!” says one hedge-fund analyst)

Nation, this confirms my suspicion all along… Obama wants to enslave White America Real America!! That way he will create a slave economy to fund his socialist policies!! Of course it all makes sense now!!!

EMERGENCY NEWS: The Greatest Maveratrix Ever Vs Socialist Medicine

Socialism will grant free abortions for everyone!

The Liberal States of Gaylandia. April 20, 2009 - Nation, The Greatest Maveratrix Ever needs your help to stop Kathleen Sebelius for the secretary post at the Department of Health and Human Services Department of Socialist Healthcare and Free Abortions!! Sarah Palin wants you to bully to convince the Senate Finance Committee to hold Sebelius confirmation indefinitely until she surrenders. And is working!!! Real American Republican Sen. Charles Grassley refuses to confirm her put her on hold until he finishes his sandwich… is one of those big and large ones… it can hardly fit his mouth…

But feels this is not going far enough… instead I have a better plan to deal with this hippie abortion-lover socialist. Instead we should tell the Senate Finance Committee to confirm her!!… Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want socialist medicine or free abortions but think about it! IF Sebelius gets confirmed, all Real Americans will be in an uproar!! Next thing you know we have another Tea Party protest, but this time we will focus on socialize medicine. The last Tea Party demonstration worked so well that it left the liberals scared to death!! Real America has spoken, we don’t want socialism! And we certainly we don’t want a socialist baby killer in our office, nothing good can come from it. The new uproar will clearly cause a chain reaction in which will lead Obama’s impeachment!!!!

Plus by confirming Sebelius it will make Sarah Palin look more mavericky than Ever!! This event will make the Republican Party take over congress easily while the hippie bear-loving liberals run away scared, leaving their senate seats empty!! Thus Congress will have no choice but to appoint Sarah Palin as The New President of Real America!!! I am sure this is her plan all along!!!

We can do it!!! Nation, call the Senate Finance Committee to confirm Sebelius as soon as possible!!

Senate Finance Committee: Ph (202) 224-4515

You can also sign the petition SEIU petition to confirm Sebelius

WONDERFUL NEWS!!!! The National Organization for Colbert Gets Recognition from NOM!!

hippie bear-loving liberals die of disease known as “hilarity”

The Patriotic States of NOM. April 18, 2009 - is proud to announce that we are great supporters of the National Organization for Colbert! For years has fought the insidious Gay Disease and Fever for the sanctity of heterosexual marriage. Yes, our staff has been working very hard and very long hours of the night together; sometimes we would sleep in our office sharing the same bed and blanket while keeping our bodies warm from those cold nights fearful of The Gays lurking in the dark. We typed our righteous words into our computer screens while being a washed with the light of Gay images so we could understand our enemy. is watching over The Gays so you don’t have to!

And we have some wonderful news!! NOM has endorsed their full support of “The National Organization for Colbert”!! NOM stands for "National Organization for Morons Marriage", it is a group made up of homophobes, racists, bigots, and morons through out the Nation Real Americans, Patriots, and Heroes that makes America safe from The Gays. These brave soldiers are protecting the sanctity of Heterosexual Marriage to keep those Gays from Gaying up America...

News of NOM’s endorsement to Our Beloved Colbert has set the blogosphere on fire!! Liberal bear-loving gay hippies are in full alert now that they know Colbert will be in the forefront War on Gays!! The Gays are so scared that many of The Gays have gone wild and started to roll on the floor laughing… probably from hysteria and fear… News of this patriotic alliance has brought the full support of Real Americans!

Texas Secession Independence Halted

Gov Perry calls for a wambulance help

The Republic of Texas The States of Texas. April 17, 2009 - is sad to announce that the secession independence movement was brought to a halt by the hippie bear-loving gay democrats.

According with reliable sources the liberals blackmailed harassed Gov Perry on stopping his sedition Revolutionary movement. Liberals want their precious gay marriage, their welfare, and their socialism… but when Real Americans demand segregation, anti-gay marriage, and the return of slavery State’s Rights we have gone too far! The liberals are the oppressors now, and they know it!!

  • EMERGENCY UPDATE: I am sadden to inform you that all talks of secession independence has been null and void, Gov Perry has commented that he will instead focus on governing Texas rather than fight the treacherous gay bear-loving liberals... fears that they got him somehow...



Sorry guys, she is a lezbo… and she has a gun!!!

Obama™ now has the Largest Gay Army in the world

The Gayest States of Satan Gaymerica. April 17, 2009 - AMERICA! RUN FOR THE HILLS, IS THE GAY ARMY!!!!!! was alarmed to learn that the mooslim leader not only took over America’s fighting forces, but now he is mandating them to turn gay!!

Because of the mooslim's mandate The Gay Army can now claim a force of 140,000,000!!! (give or take a few bisexuals and trannies). I dont know about you, but I am scared, if The Gay Fever continues to grow it could claim all of America. We are not safe!!! We have no choice but to either surrender and become gay or launch a rocket to Mars and establish a heterosexual colony... someone get me NASA on the phone!!


The mooslim tyrant is trying to corrupt this brave Real American Solider into the Gay lifestyle


Se réveiller Canadien

Millions of Real Americans Cry in Horror!!!

The Canadian States of American-Canada. Avril 17, 2009 - was horrified to learn that millions of Real Americans were forcefully granted Canadian citizenship illegally without their consent… worst, because of their new found citizenship, Real Americans will be obligated to renounce their American citizenship!!!

“I felt a great disturbance in Real America. As if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I feared something terrible has happened to America,” proclaimed an Ex-Real American now a Canadian citizen.

The incident is causing an uproar around the Nation. Thousands of Real Americans are worried that they could be living next to a Canadian neighbor… worst, they fear that they themselves could be Canadian! There could be Canadian citizens walking down America’s streets without knowing they are Canadian! The DHS has classified them as “Canadian Sleeper Cells”.

The Depart of Homeland Security is now at Code Red and they are considering these new Canadian citizens as an invading force to take over the USA. It is still unknown as to what’s their objective, but all they can be sure is that this is just an “invasion force” to test America’s security.

Nation, do not be concerned! The staff at has been tested an none of us are Canadian, so we are safe, eh!


The Canadian invasion force... is it wrong if I want to surrender?

Wonderful News: Hillary Clinton in the Poor House!


Hillary: Biatch where is my money?? Ho, I told ya to give me my money or I will slap ya!!

Hillary: is hard to be a pimp

The Liberal Poor House of Welfare Queens. April 17, 2009 - We may have lost the White House, and Congress… hell, we even lost a couple of Red States but I have some wonderful news!!! According with reliable sources The Clintons are bankrupt!! If there is one good thing from this whole socialist mess is that it is driving many rich liberals to the poor house!

The Clintons are so poor now that Hillary was forced to sell… her body her husband’s body!!

“I am so ashamed of myself… having to do something so degrading… but I have no choice but to pimp Bill so we can pay our bills… when it comes down to it, its all his fault really… Bill told me that socialism would help our financial problems so I endorsed Obama™… boy, was he wrong… It doesn’t help that he is enjoying the whole thing…” declared Welfare Queen Hillary Clinton.

Nation, let this be a lesson… socialism doesn’t work!

Lezbian Bear-loving Liberal Bullies Real American

Crazy Lezbian bullies Real American

Senator Richard Burr (R-NC) demands apology

The Gaysrael of America. April 17, 2009 - Senator Richard Burr (R-NC) is being bullied by a crazy lezbian. suspects the crazy lezbo is just jealous and is attempting to forcefully gay marry him.

Senator Richard Burr is a true believer of the free market and the financial industry, a true American Patriot, and a Real American Hero who would never abandon his constituents in a moment of crisis…

Someone needs to tell this crazy lezbian to stop bullying Real Americans… she is just jealous because she doesn’t have a penis

Liberal GOTCHA MEDIA Derailed Coleman’s Campaign

Norm Coleman being harassed by GOTCHA liberal media

Coleman demands apology

The Liberal States of Gaymerica. April 17, 2009 - was shocked to learn that The Liberal Media broke their promise of not to reveal a controversial scandal that businessman Nasser Kazeminy funneled him money a liberal lie; Mr. Coleman explained that the whole thing was a misunderstanding but that he could only reveal his answer after being elected.

“I have a good explanation for the whole thing… which I cant reveal at the moment, but once you hear my explanation you will realize this has been a misunderstanding… I demand an apology!!” declared Norm Coleman.

Shame on you liberal media, Mr. Coleman agreed to answers all your questions AFTER the election, you broke your promise of silence!!

  • UPDATE: is shocked to learn that liberals are still harassing Senator Norm Coleman!! Someone threw eggs at his house!! Not cool man!!! Because of the attack, Norm Coleman had to be hospitalized as he is suffering a mental breakdown from the trauma...

The Greatest Ex-President Ever Opens New Fat Camp


I used the “Guantanamo Bay Diet” and I lost 300 pounds in just three days!!!

Liberals proclaims Guantanamo Fat Camp violated humans rights

The Patriotic United States of America. April 17, 2009 - is proud to announce that The Greatest Ex-President Ever will open a Fat Camp to help America’s overweight problem. It will be endorsed by Slim Fast and Jenny Craig.

“Well, since Michael Moore is fat… and fat people are liberals, I thought I can kill… one bird… no wait… two ducks… now, don’t help me, I am sure I will remember… eerrr… with one pebble… cant get fool again…”

Congratulations!! And good luck on your new Fat Camp, we heard that The Greatest Ex-President Ever has experience on running facilities on subhuman conditions, at minimum capacity, and with few bare necessities an economical level.

The Revolution is Sweeping the Nation!! Millions Join The Fight!!

Pat Buchanan explains why The Gays violates Human Nature… he also explains why biologically men must become polygamists and impregnate as many women to propagate our genes for the survival of our species... I love this man...

GOP plans to topple stop communist government is working

The Patriotic States of America. April 17, 2009 - is proud to announce that dissenting tactics “Patriotic Acts” are working to undermine the mooslim administration that is attempting to undermine Real America's democracy, shame on you!! The number of Real Americans joining the movement are growing large! Soon, Real Americans will be able to reclaim America back!!

Nation, thanks to the cries of Real Americans, we saw the rise and coming of a new Real American Hero! Gov. Perry will become the First President of the Republic of Texas!! He promised to bring back State Rights, slavery, and segregation to Texas and claimed that George Wallace was right all along!!! Chuck Norris will become the First Super Awesome President of the Super Republic of Awesome Texas!! News of Chuck Norris running for President scared many liberals within the Lone Star State, such was their fear of Norris Awesome power that witnessed a massive migration of liberals rushing toward liberals states like Gaylifornia, Gaysrael, and Gayqueedom of Sodomites (formerly known as New York). News of Chuck Norris becoming the new leadership of the Texas Revolution has brought delight to the Texan GOP.

“This is awesome, now we can continue teabagging more than ever!! I bet Chuck Norris can even do some teabagging in the face of Obama™ without fear!!!” replied a Republican Senator.

However, the Revolution was saddened to learn they lost two valuable members on The War on Socialism and on The War on Gays.

First, salutes the bravery of Wayne Anthony Ross on his attempt to undermine the communist government, to silent the “undesirables” on their petty complains, and for persecuting The Gays for attempting to corrupt our children… and let us not forget his brave attempt to safeguard the Alaskan Senate by illegally undermining the democratic process by enforcing the law of the land, but the liberal bear-loving democrats don’t like that sort of thing. W.A.R. you shall be missed… also we learned that Mr. Ross was later then eaten by a Polar Bear and the godless killing machine developed food poisoning… even in death he keeps fighting the good fight.

And now for some really terrible news… is sad to announce that one time Real Hero of the Nation has turned un-american turn-coat traitor. That traitor is Steve Schmidt, a key architect of John McCain's presidential campaign, and he has been brainwashed into The Gay lifestyle…

“Is true, I am gay now and its FABULOUS!!! I am telling you this once. You are all meanies. Being Gay is not a choice and Gay Marriage is about Civil Rights… The right to have butt sex with another man and I love it!! I love it in the butt!” declared the Steve “Benedict Arnold” Schmidt.

What a piece of Schmidt… We all know that being gay is a choice, and if gays would just choose to stop being gay there wouldn’t be a Civil Rights problem they would be happy. Plus only black people can claim the Civil Rights™, they have a trademark on it. Plus since America is Not Racist anymore there is not a Civil Rights problem… so you loose Gays! Steve Schmidt brings shame to all Real Americans as well as the Real Men and women in uniform that fights the Gay Terror everyday. For Shame Mr. Piece of Schmidt!

This is truly a sad day for the Anti-Gay movement NOM. According with a report from NOM The Gays won’t stop corrupting our children and they will continue to undermine heterosexual marriage. Worst, evidence suggests that The Gay Disease is now spreading to Heterosexuals Bars! It is believed that IF one gay were to enter a heterosexual bar, it automatically becomes a Gay Bar!! Forcing many alcoholic loyal patrons to become gay to be able to drink beer or to be forcefully removed and find a new Heterosexual Bar… at this rate all Bars in America will become Gay Bars!!!! Wait… is just happening to Karaoke Bars?… then who cares, I hate Karaoke…

Nation, the liberal day insurgency is in their last throes but their acts of desperation is only making them more dangerous. learned that liberals have received additional funding to corrupt the youth of America, and the hippies are attempting to pass very extreme socialist policies to cripple America’s economy. But The Revolution continues to grow stronger!

  • EMERGENCY UPDATE: Steve Schmidt has now been classified as an enemy combatant, un-american bearrorist, and #1 Threat To America!!

Facist Mooslim Wants Trains to be on Time

Mussolini selected as railway Czar

The Fascist States of America. April 16, 2009 - The mooslim leader has a new vision for America… a vision from HELL!! According with reliable sources, Obama™ is attempting to socialize America’s railway system “to make the trains go faster and on time”… you know who wanted to make the trains to run faster and on time? A fascist!!

Don’t be fooled, this is the mooslism leader attempt at destroying America’s car industry!! Think about it, if trains run fast and on time, soon all Real Americans will start using… PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION!!! People will stop driving their cars and oil companies will be force to go bankrupt!! Worst, people will stop buying American cars and we will become like Europe!!!!


Obama’s™ vision of socialist America

Polar Bears Infiltrate Alaskan Senate

Sarah Palin sabotage of state business deemed successful safely secure in Indiana

The Real State of Alaska. April 16, 2009 - was sadden to learn that Real American Hero Wayne Anthony Ross or W.A.R., was not chosen as the new Attorney General of Alaska. Instead of being able to oppress women and minorities on his new office he will have to settle with doing it from his old one. Thanks a lot Alaska, you made W.A.R. cry!

The useless mooslim leader has ignored the requests from Real Alaskans of having a Real American as an Attorney General; we suspected that That One will instead appoint a Polar Bear to eat our delicious children!! Further evidence that the Obama™ administration is endangering the lives of Real Americans.

While Alaska was being infiltrated by Polar Bears, learned that dissenting voices have infiltrated the Texan State. Treacherous traitors like Gov Perry is aiming to become the new President of Texas! Un-american hippies bear-loving liberals are undermining the self autonomy of the Republic of Texas!

Worst yet, we suspect that the mooslim leader will round up all rebels all Real American Freedom Fighters and torture them for being Real Americans.

Republic of Texas Demands Secession Independence!!

Gleen Beck supports treacherous acts of sedition heroic acts of independence.

Gleen Beck and Rick Perry declared un-american traitors Real Heroes

The Republic of Texas-Real America. April 16, 2009. - Gov. Perry announcement of sedition declaration of independence for Real Americans in Texas was received with great clamor!! Many Real Americans not only showed support to such a bold move, but many Real Americans through the country have declared a wish to move into Texas and away from The Communist States of America.

“The People of Texas are proud and independent people, We are The Real Americans. The tyrannical fascist mooslim leader and his communist government has proven to be useless. What good is a big government for States like ours? We don’t need them, I say. They have no function or use for us. Texas can take care of its own and its land…” declared Gov Perry.

Fascist Communist Moolslim French Leader Hunts Down Real Americans

The Bush Obama™ Administration is spying on Real Americans!!!

Real Americans demands their own militia to fight against mooslim terrorist to protect the peace

The Fascist States of America. April 15, 2009 - The Facist Leader is already feeling the pressures of Real Americans. Thanks to the brave voices of The Tea Party. has learned that the tyrant fascist leader is loosing his grip on power. Yet this fascist mooslim is not going to go down without a fight.

Nation, the fascist mooslim is rounding up all Real Americans around the country and they are being sent to either to FEMA concentration camps or to Guantanamo to please Obama’s mooslim masters. Without a doubt, the Tea Party protest against taxation on The Ultra Rich Real Americans has provoked That One to show his true colors. Clearly demonstrating that our protest are working extremely well against the mooslim leader. was able to obtain evidence from a reputable source that Obama™ is spying on all Real Americans to find dissention among the American public. How disgusting and shameful!! The Greatest Ex-President Ever would never have done something like this… at least not on conservatives, we are after all Real Americans and he can trust us.

Obama™ is a Fascist!!

We are winning The War on Socialism, keep the good fight and never give up

Brave Group of Americans Fights Back the Gay Terror

The Northwest Valley Baptist Church released this offensive piece of sh#t this aw inspiriting video to encourage the fight against the gay scourge.

Gay Sleeper Cells infiltrate America’s school children

The Patriotic States of White America. April 15, 2009 - has just recently learned that a new anti-gay group has been formed to fight back a new insidious disease plaguing America's children. Gay Sleeper Cells!! The Brave men and women of the Illinois Family Institute or NAMBLA has been fighting the insidious gay disease for years.

But this is not just your average sleeper cell, according with Illinois Family Institute or NAMBLA, these gay sleeper cells have infiltrated our schools to brainwash our children into the gay lifestyle.

“them gays are trying to turn me children queer, is time to kill STOP these gays, maybe hold up a lynching MEETING and hang them to the tallest tree! ASK THEM NICELY TO LEAVE AMERICA”, replied a man in a white hood.

Real Christians around the country have joined with the Illinois Family Institute in the fights against The Gays AND to protect our children against insidious liberal teachings. The Northwest Valley Baptist Church released an aw inspiriting ad asking all Real Christians to join the fight against the gay disease.

This Sleeper Gay Agent is a threat to our Real American Children

Nation, you can phone the Illinois Family Institute at (708) 781-9328 and let them know how you feel about bullying little kids hunting down The Gays until are driven to the point of suicide leaving America, and how heroic and brave were the bullies little Americans in fighting the insidious gay disease.

You can also contact The Northwest Valley Baptist Church at (623)-581-3115 and ask them why they want to encourage the bullying and suicides of LGBT youth if they have enough white hoods to distribute to the rest of us Real Christians.


Greedy joo Al Franken demands Norm Coleman to pay his attorney fees

The Un-american States of Un-america. April 15, 2009 - was shock to learn that the liberal bear-loving democrats are using underhanded tactics to stop Norm Coleman from becoming the Senator of Minnesota. Liberals stop this nonsense already, Mr. Coleman won the election! Mr. Coleman deserves a recount Mr. Coleman deserves a fair election!!

According with sources, hippie bear-loving liberals are blackmailing and extorting money from poor Norm Coleman, money that Coleman needs to win this election. We suspect that the liberals will use the money to buy more drugs, hookers, and alcohol.



These pair of hot lezbians have kidnapped another poor innocent child to be converted into their hotmosexual lifestyle... damn lucky kid

Large group of lesbians are kidnapping our children to brainwash them into the Gay lifestyle

The Hotmosexual States of Sappho. April 15, 2009 - America was shocked to learn that there is a new rise of Feminazis through out the world. Yet then again, is not surprised at all of the new “Gay Surge”. has been documenting the recent trend of The Gay Fever swiping America with devastating consequences.

“I blame The Gay Marriage. Now that two men or two women can get gay married, the women have decided they wanted more power…” declared a Real American. “Soon we will have a large group of women marching down the streets demanding more abortions and more rights to themselves, while emasculating Real American men…

The War on Feminazis and Lesbians has proven to be more difficult to handle for many Real Americans. has evidence that these hotmosexuals were able to infiltrate the GOP, wreaking havoc in an attempt to undermine democracy.

“You tell me how am I suppose to fight against two beautiful women making out with each other! I was never trained for this!” declared a Republican Senator, for security concerns we are keeping the name of the senator anonymous, instead we will address him by his series of tubes username Hot4lezbians.


It hasn’t been no more than 5 seconds, and this newly wed heterosexual couple has already been targeted by The Gays

Senator Hot4lezbians is a regular in youtube, hunting down videos of lesbians so he can understand The Enemy. The senator has told us is not an easy job, and it requires his full attention. The senator admits he has also bough a large series of dvds that lesbians use as recruiting tools to entice women into the lesbian lifestyle. Senator Hot4lezbians, salutes you for your bravery and courage, keep watching those lesbians for us… and I wouldn’t mind to volunteer in his battle against these lesbians…

But the Battle against the Feminazis is loosing momentum in some places, including the shores of Jamaica. While Real Americans have done a great job in stopping the spread of the Gay Disease between two men, they have failed to impose strict laws against lesbians. Worst, Jamaicans are encouraging women to have sex with each other! Even worst, believes the Jamaican government may impose a compulsory law in which women MUST have sex with each other and let the guy watch… actually that doesn’t sound bad But is willing to do the sacrifice and allow such laws to pass as long as they don’t gay marry each other…

The GOP is demanding the mooslim president to do something about The Gay Problem or suffer the wrath of the Republican Party.


Aryan Nation demands apology

The Christian Reich of Germany. April 15, 2009 - The Holy Bishop of Germany, Bishop Mixa, has declared that joos are NOT the cause of all the worlds wars… sorry joos… Instead is the Atheists who are the cause of all the world wars!!!

“Ze Nazis were godless nonbelievers and ber-loverz. Zei liberals politiks destroy the joos and destroy ze fatherland. Ve must exterminate ze atheists before zey destroy us. I propose ze establishment of a “detenzion campz” to detain ze godless traitors” declared Bishop Mixa to a crow of congregants during Easter.

Believers in America has taken heart to the message to fight in The War on Atheism, and large militia groups have been formed "to hunt down" the godless Atheists before they can take over our government. One Brave Real Hero, Alan Pettet, has declared that his town is full of joos godless Atheists, yet the government has done nothing to stop their resent surge of their numbers.


Alien Overlords wants to jump on COLBERT

The Patriotic States of Colbertica. April 15, 2009 - has learned recently that NASA has finally relented to the demands of legions of loyal fans and admirers of Our Beloved Colbert. To avoid a possible riot or the outbreak of an uprising, NASA tried to reach a compromise with Our Beloved Stephen Colbert. Even thought does not have its own Ion Cannon cool satellite named after Stephen Colbert (instead they went with the sissified name "Tranquility", it only made it to 8th place! Further proof demonstrating that "Affirmative Action" is destroying Democracy), we are glad to hear that instead we can toss our bodies on COLBERT, get sweaty and stinky with COLBERT, and get a mean work out from COLBERT (Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill).

Nation, we are getting a new State of the Art Treadmill!!! That better be an expensive, over budget, and overblown Treadmill from a shady Contractor NASA! We only want the Best! PLUS we heard from reliable sources that the COLBERT not only will power up the station, but it may have the power to power up America with the power of a thousand suns!! Nation, the COLBERT can solve the energy crisis!!


The C.O.L.B.E.R.T.

Gov Perry Demands Secession of Texas Backs Resolution Affirming Texas Sovereignty Under 10th Amendment

Gov Perry tells Obama™ to go to hell and to shove up his federal money where the sun doesn’t shine

Obama™ demands Federal money back

The Republic of Texas. April 14, 2009 - The Republic of Texas will pass a new resolution demanding independence from The United Communist States of Neo-Russia-America. Governor Perry has applaud the resolution of Real Americans willing to sacrifice anything, including bailouts the free money that was promised to them Federal funding the blood money from the liberal hippie bear-loving democrats that they got from selling babies in the black market. Gov. Perry called the large spending of “blood money” irresponsible.

Gov. Perry gave an outstanding speech against the communist government (this is his actual speech):

I believe the federal government has become oppressive. It’s become oppressive in its size, its intrusion in the lives of its citizens, and its interference with the affaris of our state.

Texans need to ask themselves a question. Do they side with those in Washington who are pursuing this unprecendented expansion of power, or do they believe in individual rights and responsibilities laid down in our foundational documents.

Where’re you gonna’ stand? With an ever-growing Washington bureaucracy, or are you going to stand with the people of this state who understand the importance of state’s rights.

Texans need to stand up. They need to be heard, because the state of affairs that we find ourselves in cannot continue indefinitely...

...We think it’s time to draw the line in the sand and tell Washington that no longer are we going to accept their oppressive hand in the state of Texas. That’s what this press conference, that’s what these Texans are standing up for. There is a point in time where you stand up and say enough is enough, and I think Americans, and Texans especially have reached that point.

Tea Party Declared a Success!!

Fox News demand that British Police the mooslim leader stop harassing G-20 Protesters Real Americans

Dick Armey: The Tea Party is the only true voice of The Ultra Rich Real America, but in now way I am affiliated with it… that’s absurd.

The Ultra Richs Sates of Ultra Rich America The United States of Real America. April 14, 2009 - Large crowds of Real Americans were gathered in the socialist capital, protesting the new waves of taxes that was being introduced by the liberal communist Congress.

The Tea Party has proven to be a successful movement against The War on Socialism, and it has already become popular among Real Americans. Nation, The Tea Party is a brave grassroots movement founded by The Ultra Rich to topple the Obama administration Real Americans who are concerned that America is turning Red! These brave volunteers on The War on Socialism are sacrificing everything to save America. These brave heroes know that the mooslim communist frenchy leader will have them arrested, sent to jail, or worst… force them to surrender all their wealth as punishment but that has not stop the movement on gaining momentum.

The Tea Party is already teabagging many members of Congress and many of these un-americans cowards are already running for the hill!! Nation, we did it! We are close of toppling the mooslim tyrant and restoring America to self serve the interests of the Ultra Rich forever!! the proper powers that makes this country great!

Nation, soon all of us will be declared enemy combatants Real Heroes and the hippie bear-loving liberals will have no other choice but to surrender!!…

…now if for some reason DHS calls… tell them that I am not here…

The Greatest Maveratrix Ever Nominates Real American Hero as New Attorney General

“gay un-american dissidents who objects to the nomination will be shot to death sent to jail declared enemy combatant asked to leave America”, declares future Attorney General

The Patriotic States of Alaska. America. April 14, 2009 - Nation, we live in dangerous times. There was a time when Real Americans prayed to the same God, lived their lives as a heterosexual married couple and there were no gays, black people undesirables, foreigners, poor people or liberals in America. In essence America was pure, innocent, and Real American. But those days are over, now the gays and liberals are rounding up Real Americans to be sent to concentration camps. Mandatory Gay Marriage laws are continued to be introduced to new states each day… Atheism is being taught in our schools and our Christian Nation is abandoning God… Nation… We are risking the danger of loosing our American soul in hell forever!!

In this trouble times, the people cry for a hero, a hero who can protect us against the evil of liberalism, and the unnatural godless increase of gay marriage run amok, we need a hero to protect us against foreigners who are stealing our jobs, and against the Ultra Rich the Welfare Queens who are stealing the tax payer’s money. Nation, such hero has been found, and his name is Wayne Anthony Ross!!

Now, the liberal bear-loving liberals are in an uproar with The Greatest Maveratrix Ever’s decision. According with the gay liberals, Mr. Ross is a well-known racist, homophobe, and sexists. Even half of Alaska thinks he is nuts. I don’t see the problem since those are the necessary credential to join the GOP. Mr. Ross is a Real American Hero and they hate him for that.

Mr. Wayne Anthony Ross is clearly a Real American Hero, not only does he promised to protect us from gay marriage but to also keep it “pure” for all Real Americans.

“Is time for the White American Race to protect the sanctity of Marriage. First of all, I am tired of these “feminists” complaining that my idea of legalizing rape is absurd! If a guy can’t rape his wife…who’s he gonna rape?” and “There wouldn’t be an issue with domestic violence if women would learn to keep their mouths shut. (actuall quote)” of protecting heterosexual marriage is endangering actual marriage”, declared Real True American Hero who is non-racist, non-sexist, non-advocate of Rape Mr. Wayne Anthony Ross. When asked how is he going to maintain the purity of marriage, Mr. Ross explained, “First we will kill chase out the gays; once The Gay Problem is solved, then we will solve the n*gg#r problemundesirables” problem. I am proposing to Alaska to outlaw interracial marriage marriages between ‘undesirables’ so we can maintain the purity of the white American Race. After all, marriage is between a white man and a white submissive woman. It’s time to bring back God into our lives and into the government and pass moral laws according with the Bible to stop these sexual deviants, America demands it!!”

Such Brave words, if Alaska doesn’t chose Mr. Ross as the new Attorney General, then there must be something wrong with Alaska. I would like to add that Mr. Ross is thinking of demanding the Alaskan senate to pass a law on how to solve the recent increase of gay marriage around America. Now the bear-loving liberals call his idea overly radical and dangerous… figures… Mr. Ross says this is the final solution only solution to the problem… Mr. Ross said that his idea was inspired by a story he read in the newspaper…


Al franken bunny web

Sexual liberal deviant Al Franken only brings shame to public office…

GOP: Is official, we are communist now. Democracy is dead…

The Communist States of America. April 13, 2009 - Nation, I have some sad news today. As you probably heard Al Franken is now the new Senator of Minnesota, which has now been declared the most liberal hell hole in America.

“Gosh darn, what has happened to fair and valance elections? I bet that this election was sullied by liberal lies, propaganda, and deception… Doncha know? I bet these “liberal” judges succumbed to the pressures of the mooslim socialist leader. Gosh darn it, I demand a recount!!! I demand new fair elections!!! The election on Minnesota was “tinted” by gosh darn liberal smears and lies! Just like the election in Alaska!!” declared The Greatest Maveratrix Ever Sarah Palin, after hearing the shocking scandal. “Gosh darn, this is just like when Ted Stevens was smeared by the liberal media demanding his resignation, which I never supported… THOSE ARE LIBERAL LIES, STOP IT YOU GOTCHA JOURNALISM!!

Nation, without a doubt this is a liberal conspiracy!!

...seriously Minnesota... Al Franken???

Un-American News: American Colonies Go Nuts for Tea

The Snuke

The Royal Navy ready to take back the American colonies.

Colonials demand more “teabagging”

The Glorious British Empire. April 13, 2009 - News that the American colonies are in an uproar and close to toppling their colonial regime were welcomed with cheers in Parliament. But they were also shocked to learn they were tossing good tea into their harbor.

“Clearly the American colonies are unable to govern themselves. Is time to stop this ridiculous rebellion once and for all! We must bring and end to this "American Revolution". We cannot forget King Georges III “Proclamation of Rebellion”. I suggest to all our members of Parliament to pass a resolution to retake back our rightful colonies and restore the power of the British Crown to such uncivilized lands,” declared Prime Minister Gordon Brown. “We shall restore the dignity of the office of politics and governance, with our superior system of government. The simple masses of peasants have proven to be nothing but rude mean thugs, bringing nothing but disgrace to their office of government”

Many loyal subjects of the Crown were concerned to the news that good tea was being wasted into the ocean.

“My God, clearly these “Americans” are nothing but uncivilized brutes. How were they able to become a superpower is a mystery to me.” declared a loyal British citizen before being arrested for spreading false propaganda.

Thanks to our loyal subjects, MI6 was able to infiltrate these dissidents to learn how are they going to topple their unrecognized government. If successful they are hoping to replace the government with a provisional government and appoint a governor-general to oversee the function of governance.

The Royal Navy suspects that the American Navy has been recently weakened by Barbary Pirates in their resent skirmish. With their weakened navy, it should be easy to launch an invasion to retake the lost British Colonies.

Mooslim Communist French Leader Declares April 15 “Communist Day”


The Obama’s new ferocious and vicious guard dog. Don’t be fooled!! You can see it in his eyes that it has already tasted human blood…

All Ultra Rich Americans must surrender all their wealth that day or else

The Socialist Communist States of Communist America - The Tea Party’s protest against taxation on the rich on Real Americans around the Nation has proven to be successful.

“We are clearly winning The War on Taxation. I am sick and tired of the poor and welfare queens undermining capitalism and the free market. I am tired of no one representing the interest of The Ultra Rich Real Americans. Is time for Real Americans to have a voice in Congress!!” shouted Dick Armey, the leader of the Tea Party. Then Dick Armey demanded more teabagging from his supporters.

The GOP and other Republican minority Majority has shown full support for the Tea Party and the complete restoration and return of free markets in America. The Glorious Chairman of the Republican Party, Rush Limbaugh, gave an outstanding speech to a crowd of Angry Rich White Americans. The Glorious Chairman of the Republican Party declared that they were close on restoring America back to The Real Party of America. And gave a clear warning that socialist healthcare could destroy the healthcare industry forever.

“The Socialist Leader wants to reform healthcare… sure he can reform… in hell!! If he believes in hell!”

For those who aren’t aware, the GOP learned that the liberal hippie bear-loving democrats are attempting to push a socialist health care bill that will mandate that only Atheists can receive medical treatment… or at least those who think that God “may” exist (they had to compromise with their pagan constituents). Agnostics pick a side! We are at war!!

The War on Socialism has proven to be difficult but not unwinnable. As radical socialist agents continue to reign turmoil into the free market, there is a glimmer of hope. Real Capitalist corporations like Goldman Sachs are at the forefront on The War on Socialism and they have proven successful against socialist dissidents.

“Just yesterday we captured a socialist rebel that was trying to undermine the freedoms of the free market. We cannot allow vermins like socialism and communism to continue to exercise liberal policies like free speech hate speech to distribute their socialist propaganda. We demand that Entrepreneurial Business have total control of the series of tubes, that way we can better police and monitor these socialist anarchists” tried to contact the socialist anarchist and he tried to convince us that the issue was about free speech and economic fairness in the free market but he refused to have an interview with us. If anyone is interested in helping in shutting down the socialist blog. Do not go to, I repeat, DO not GO there… otherwise you will be helping the enemy… and you do not want to help those socialist pinko commie hippies… or do you?

However, not everything is good news. Sadly, learned recently that the communist mooslim frenchy leader of Communist America has pledge his allegiance to Communist Cuba. The Communist Leader Raul Fidel Castro has welcomed the news of Obama™’s surrender and the recognition that communism is superior to “inferior” Capitalism. The GOP is in an uproar and is demanding an investigation and the impeachment of the mooslim socialist cheese-eating-surrender-monkey, but has proven difficult ever since Rahmbo eviscerated anti-communist agents that tried to arrest the mooslim leader.

“Clearly the liberal gay friendly White House has shown more preference toward the gay bear-loving liberals than toward us Real Conservative Republican Americans,” objected a Republican Senator. “The preferential treatment is destroying this country, Obama™ lied about being more bipartisan, clearly this is evidence of tyranny!

The White House, tired of being hounded by angry Republicans, has announced that they got a new ferocious guard dog to keep Republicans from approaching the president that keeps bothering him with their “petty” concerns.

The White House also announced that Obama™ is schedule to give another anti-american speech, followed by an anti-semitic speech in the following days. suspects the mooslim socialist frenchy leader is trying to win the mooslim and the racist vote for the 2012 election, well he got half my vote.

True American Hero Captain Liberated from Somalia Gay Butt-pirates


These Gay Butt-pirates have pledge to continue to plunge their swords into Real American sailors and plunder their booty until America embraces the virtues of Gayness

Gay Cruise schedule to arrive Somalia next week

The Gay Queedom of Somalia, Gayghanistan. April 13, 2009 - America was relieved to learn that Real American Hero, Richard Phillips, was rescued from Gay Butt-pirates during the Holy Feast of Our Lord and the True Religion of America. The Holy Father of the True Church, James Dobson, declared it a miracle and further evidence that The Gays are loosing The War on Homosexuality.

“These Somali Gay Butt-pirates are the enemies of the Free market and the global economy! Not only that! Now they are abducting Real Americans so they can raep them and have gay butt sex and then gay marry them for the tax credit!” declared a wiki-reporter Mutopis. “What have we done to these gay pirates to deserve something like this? NOTHING!!… No really, we did nothing to stop the dumping toxic nuclear waste that sickened their general population and they will feel the toxic mutating effects for countless of generations, or the illegal overfishing of their waters from our European and other Capitalist friends that caused a terrible famine and forever destroying their livelihood… after all it was clearly just business and it kept our Ultra Rich friends very happy. So it was a win-win situation. We raep their oceans, screwed their people, and made a profit at the expense of their suffering, and they got free toxic waste to play with, plus now their waters are free from those pesky fishes and other flora and fauna that was polluting their drinking water… Somalia is a hell hole ever since their hippie bear-loving liberal government collapsed, they failed to embrace Real Capitalism and Real Democracy to save their government… Clearly they are just a bunch of gay socialist who just want to redistribute their ill gotten loot among other Gay Butt-pirates so they can then open a gay tourist resort!”

President of NOM, Maggie Gallagher, was exalted to learn that three Gay Butt-pirates were shot and were send back to hell.

“Our movement is growing and is still strong. We are thinking of adding Gay Butt-pirates into our list of homophobias anti-gay agenda. The 2M4M is growing and will not stop there, it will continue to expand, thick our members and erect a new monument to our movement. 2 M4M FOREVER!” yelled the Hitlerina President of NOM, “This is the time to preserve the sanctity of marriage. The Gays do not have the same moral values than us Real Christians Americans!”

According with anti-gay authorities, the infestation known as The Gay Fever wont be dispelling anytime soon. ATF forces just launched a raid yesterday, in which they discovered pornographic materials and other adult contents that were leaning on The Gay Side for distribution nationwide. The Gay Pr0n was being sold over the series of tubes and was being peddled to children and teenagers as an attempt to brainwash them into The Gay ideology. The ATF has already burned the books and other adult materials in a bonfire, then they roasted some marshmallows and singed kumbaya.

“This is a great victory for Real Americans and all Heterosexual couples in the world,” declared ATF chief, Marshall Homophobic III. “You know at first I was worried that we were loosing the War on The Gays. Worst was knowing that our new boss was a darkie liberal gay mooslim, but clearly our defeat was overblo…” then he was interrupted by another ATF agent. It was at this point that the ATF chief started to rage with fury, yelling obscene words and screaming “What do you mean it was all a mistake???” “A glitch?? What computer glitch??” “Who the hell they think they are???” And “What do you mean this raid is unconstitutional???” It was at this point that the ATF chief and his agents started to run back to their vans; clearly a True American Hero. salutes the brave men and women in uniform for keeping our American waters safe and hunting down those Somali Gay Butt-pirates. However, the Pentagon is concerned that they still haven’t hunted down and captured the Gayest Butt-pirate of them all. The infamous, flamboyant, and albino gay pirate Moby Dick. Sources tell us that the gay pirate Moby Dick has released a new anti-american video, in which he stated that he hasn’t given up on the idea of kidnapping more American sailors and turn them into the gay lifestyle.

“We warned you… don’t make me gay it up as it is!!

The mooslim communist leader had nothing to say to the fact that he failed to secure international waters to maintain the safety of our Real American sailors. Demonstrating that he is “soft” on Gay Butt-pirates and putting the rest of America in danger.


America loves to lick Obama™


Change you can Taste!

Nation, I apologize for the liberal pro-obama advertising, but the recent recession has left cash strapped. Plus the ice cream tastes good! And they said Ruskies will never learn the value of capitalism...

Crazy Knut Fan Gets Eaten

Crazy Knut Fangirl tries to Raep Mr. Knut and his family

German Chancellor Legalizes Bestiality Marriage with Polar Bears

Großdeutsches Reich. April 11, 2009 - Celebrity Polar Bear Knut was today the victim of sexual harassment. According with Berlin authorities, during the morning of Saturday a craze female fan jumped into the Polar Bear enclosure and she tried to sexually raep Mr. Knut. The approach of a "crazed" female human scared many of the Polar Bear inhabitants.

“That was a scary moment! What kind of crazy person jumps into a dean of Polar Bears just to sexually raep us??? That woman is crazy I am telling you! No sane person would jump into a dean of BEARS!! BEARS!! Get it?? We are Godless Killing Machines people!! What part of that you do not understand?? SHE IS CRAZY!” shouted Mr. Knut, he was then later hospitalized as he had a mental breakdown. Doctors claimed that the Polar Bear was suffering from sexual trauma. fears that the resent events of “Gay Marriage” in America has suddenly driven the Germans to become jealous. Realizing that they wanted to become more “Liberal” than America, the Chancellor of Germany is now encouraging the act of Bestiality within her country. As a result Sexual Assault within zoos and pet shops has increased 50% in just one day. As feared, Gay Marriage has become the slippery slope toward the legalization of Bestiality.


As you can clearly see in this picture. Mr Knut was forced to “pleasure” this crazy German chick… I always new German girls were sexually crazed…

“Ve Germans love de bers. Zo to surpass America, ve must encourage animal-love-making to demonztrate to ze werld that Germany iz de most liberal nazion on Earth” proclaimed Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany and Bestiality/Bear lover

Bear Watch Authorities and the GOP proclaimed that the resent legalization of Bear Marriage is a disturbing event that could put Real Americans in peril. If such a trend were to become popular in America, it is suspected that it could lead to a premature “Bear Uprising” that could encourage all of America to adopt Bears as our new Overlords, putting our Chinese Overlords in a difficult position.

However, the usurpation of power at the hands of Bears is not the most disturbing of news. According with a resent study by Bear Watch, the resent trend of sexually assaulting “cuddly” bears not only encourages our defenseless yet impressionable children to become bear-lovers, but it perpetuates the myth that bears are “cuddling” and “harmless” creatures. It is suspected that the myth of “harmless” bears is putting a lot of Real Americans, who had been deceived by the liberal lies, at risk to their own peril.

America’s Pastor Replaced With a Gay Look-alike


The Gays are trying to convert Jesus into the gay lifestyle…

GOP suspects aliens from outer space as culprits

The Gay States of Gaysrael. April 11, 2009 - was shocked to learn that long time homophobe, gay-basher, and true Christian, evangelical leader Warren Weaver, has chosen to live the gay lifestyle and he finds it “Fabulous”. As we feared, many Real Americans are starting to catch The Gay Disease or as we call it “The Hot Gay Fever”.

“Yes, is true. I have chosen to be Gay. And I love it!!”, proclaim ex-christian Warren Weaver. “When I went to Obama’s inauguration, I looked into Obama’s eyes and I knew deep down that I was gay… plus that dark, tall, black man is sooo dreamy!

Yes, America. Warren Waver not only caught The Gay Fever, he also caught the Obama™ Fever. As we feared the liberals are pushing forward their gay agenda to turn all of us gay. And if no Real American is safe, then who is it?

“This is terrible! This is worst than the Black Plague! You know, the plague that turned white people into black people? Where do you think black people come from?” proclaim a Christian scientist from one of our finest religious universities well known to teach ‘Creationism’. “At this rate, I fear that The Gay Disease will expand all of America in less than a week… if this keeps up all of us will Gay marry someone…”

Real Christians across America are fighting back against The Gay disease. According with marriage expert, gayologist, and president of NOM, Maggie Gallagher, she has found a solution to The Gay Problem.

“We found that the only way for one to be immunize against The Gay Disease is to commit oneself into a heterosexual marriage. We have already set up a website, 2 M4M, and we have already received millions of pledges to get married… oddly enough many of the women have very masculine names…”, stated President of NOM, Maggie Gallagher as she ate a fishstick.

PETA Virus Overtakes Series of Tubes

America’s Gamers Starts Nerd Riot of 2009

The Gamer States of America. April 11, 2009 - Nation, the video game world is in trouble and the liberals are trying to destroy it!... I know what you are thinking. Why are you defending the nerdinista gamers? I know, I am no fan of gamers or The Video Games. But I feel like I must remind you that the video game industry is keeping America’s economy afloat. Which is why I am keeping my patriotic duty of playing video games, just yesterday I invaded a small village and plundered them of their gold so it could be infused back into the virtual economy… we are suffering from own virtual financial crisis… I knew I should never have trusted JoogoblinMerdoff666, those returns were too good to be true!

But I have some disturbing news, not even in the virtual world we Real Americans and Real Gamers are safe from the insidious disease known as liberalism. I just learned that the liberal pro-bestiality group PETA has invaded the virtual world to spread their liberal propaganda! Whats next? “Save the Orcs”, “Say no to Dragonscale”, “Trolls are people Too”?

PETA, leave my video games alone! It is the only place that I could go into a murderous rampage on a nationwide scale mass murder without going to jail… Our fantasyland has no room for liberal and socialist agendas…

which reminds me, Japan has this crazy idea on how to save their economy… but since Japan is our ally in The War on Terror, we should support and help our Asian friends by buying their junk. I just made my patriotic duy, I just bought a whole lot of sets of hentai pr0n!!

Liberal Welfare Queens Demand more Free Money

Real American demands the end of Socialist Brainwashing

Socialist Mooslim French Leader demands a bonus after doing “a heck of job”

The United State of Neo-France. April 11, 2009 - Large crowds of Real Americans were seeing protesting in the New Gay Islamofacist Capital, which recently has been renamed “SAN WASHINGFRANCISCO”. Real Americans, now turned protesters, are protesting the recent tax increase on the wealthy Entrepreneurial Americans.

However, insidious gay liberals did not only learned of this patriotic protest against taxes, they tried to sabotage the protest by creating a “scam” group to derail any attempts to stop the taxing epidemic. The group known as “A New Leap Forward” is well known for strongly disagrees with the Obama banking policy strongly agreeing with the Obama™ socialist policies. According with reliable sources, the liberal policy of giving away taxpayer free money to banks and bankers as bonuses have proven to be a blunder.

“I am sorry to say, but there is no evidence that our banking system is failing, this just another liberal lie. Instead the Obama™ administration is giving away free money to the rich to socialist welfare queens” proclaimed a Real American that was participating with a large group of other Real Americans in a passionate teabagging in front of the White House.

Ultra Rich Real Americans welcomes Tea Party!! agrees with the concession of many Real Americans, that there is no economic crisis, even the GOP agrees with the opinions of Real Americans of the Myth of such economic crisis. “Me and my fellow Republicans went yesterday to buy a new super yatch, and the store was packed… on a Saturday!” claimed Mr. Steele.

The Tea Party will demand congress the abolition of taxes on the rich, stop the banning of gun sales the cutting the funding of military defense, and to prevent the brainwashing of America’s children to be indoctrinated into liberal socialism.

Liberal bear-loving anti-gun pro-oppression socialist terrorist pathetic attempt at “fearmongering”

Gay Liberal Anarchy Overtakes America

Communist Frenchy Mooslim Leader tells crowd to eat Socialist Cake

The Communist French States of Franco-America. April 11, 2009 - Nation, we live in dangerous times. And like always the mooslim French leader continues to ignore the dangers of socialism and communism and islamofacism… because he likes those things… knows that we are facing difficult times, yet we cannot allow social hierarchy to break down. I already have evidence that we are witnessing the erosion of America.

First we have un-american foreigners breaking traffic laws that are encouraging Real Americans to do the same, the liberal media continues to undermine our brave soldiers with lies and deception, Christian oppressor are being persecuted freedom of religion is being oppressed nationwide, Welfare Queens are robbing the hard earned money of Real Americans, French socialist healthcare is here to stay (and we have evidence that a lesbian will run the whole problem… I mean “program”, how do we know she is a lesbian?… well… she is waaaay to friendly with them socialist feminists), and finally the most shocking of news… CONGRESS HAS BEEN TAKEN OVER BY THE GAYS!

Nation… all of our congressmen and the ladies and pages that service them are gay now! But don’t worry, the GOP has escaped from the clutches of this insidious disease… there is no such thing as a gay republican… that just another liberal lie. was unfortunate to witness the progression of this insidious disease; it has already affected Real Americans and have turned them gays!! Worst, we have information that the Real Brave Men and women in our military have been turned gay too!

Now the gay hippie bear-loving liberals will tell you lies like “there always have been gays in the military, this is not a disease…” yeah right, nice try. Everyone knows that Real Men are not gay, and the military is only made up of Real Men! Real Men who embraces his fellow men in the heat of a hard, long, and painful battle, Real Men who will share the warm body heat of other Real Men to keep them warm during the long, lonely, and hard winter of their lives, Real Soldiers sweat Real Men’s sweat when they work out during long, difficult, and arduous training with other sweaty and muscular Real Men, and sometimes they throw themselves into the arm of the enemy who are bend into thrusting their long sharp blades against other Real Men knowing well that the enemy seems to be carrying a big large gun… Hell, they even go with large groups of other Real Men into the forest/jungle/desert doing Real Men’s work and to never be heard of for weeks… there are no Gays in the military, how dare them!

Nation… I have to confess to you now… I fear for my life… I just learned that The Gays took over my state. The Gays now have full control of the Colorado’s government! And now The Gays are passing laws to make gay marriage mandatory or else! Help!! They are forcing me to gay marry my neighbor!!… but I don’t mind seen those married lesbian couples down the street getting hot and bothered with each other in their honey moon just to make sure they are doing it right

Halfrican Jewslim Turns Easter Gay


Chiquita Conejo, the Fabulous Ester Bunny was invited to spread Satan's testicles around the South Lawn. Get it? South lawn. Is there nothing liberals won't engayify?

Notorious Anti-American Comrade Hussein Obama to turn America's "White" House into a San Francisco bathhouse for one day only and he chooses Easter!

SAN WASHINGFRANCISCO, DISTRICT OF CASTRO, APRIL 10, 2009-- At the tender age of 6,000, Easter has finally lost her innocence. Inexperienced leader of a minority of Americans and the free world, as well as anti-capitalist-unAmerican President Biraq Hussein al-Bama has launched his own Taepodong missile at America's traditions by inviting gays to the annual celebration of the torture and execution of Our Beloved Lord And Savior!

Many Americans believe this latest attack will sully the purity of the purest Christian holiday ever!


The Easter Parade will be awash in the gayest pink ever!

This has Americans everywhere up in arms! A new group calling itself "A New Appreciation of Love" has formed promising to close the loophole that allows liberals to make up things about the better religion.

"The Bible doesn't mention anything about gays," a press release from A.N.A.L. said, "especially during Easter. Everyone knows it was the Jews who killed The Heavenly Father/Son of God after stripping him naked and parading him through town whipping him as he carried his long wooden cross. There isn't one thing gay about Easter."

In what can only be described as a coincidence, FOX broadcaster Glenn Beck conducted an investigation of his own and concluded, "[That i]t is truly an abomination that an American President would corrupt this sacred day," Beck sobbed into the camera, "I'm so upset, I could set my hair on fire!"

Before that tragedy could happen FOX executives promised to deliver a throng of followers viewers unto The Baby Jesus' second favorite day to free it from the clutches of The Secret Muslim and his Gay Agenda.

Communist Leader Bows To his Mooslim Masters

weak president promises to install islam as state religion

The Islamofacist States of America. April 9, 2009 - Nation, the mooslim and communist leader has shown his true colors. We finally have proof that not only is Obama™ a mooslim, but he is nothing but a pawn for his mooslim masters!!! America is under the control of a foreign power, and those powers are mooslims!! How Dare him!!! This is further proof that Obama™ is a foreigner and NOT a Real American!!! Because no Real American will bow, let alone be put in such a humiliating position just to appease some mooslim guy that has all of our oil!

Nation, America’s image is now in ruins thanks to him… now because of him everyone will think that Americans are cowards that will bow to Their New Mooslim Masters. Not only that, we also learned that Obama™ is too much of a coward and he surrendered to the Turkish leaders when they learned that they were not happy that Obama™ was hanging way too long with his European Pals… he is specially spending way too much time with the French.

Nation, I don’t have to tell you that thanks to his inexperience and liberal upbringing, he has already destroyed America’s democracy and her image abroad. Thanks to him we have gay marriage, the government has abolished the free market and is now implementing socialist policies and his welfare agenda, liberal education is rampant, all guns and weapons are banned, social healthcare is underway, Atheism is the new state religion, tortured have been outlawed, new liberal sexually deviant laws are being passed everyday, and Obama™ even gave voting rights to zombies!

Oh, great I just learned that baguettes are now popular, soap is banned, we have new nudists beach opening everyday and I just learned that Americans are drinking more wine and American beer is being tossed into the rive… … …

Oh my God… OH MY GOD… OH… MY… GOD!!!!!!!!!!!


Nation, I just realized something!! Obama is not a mooslim… worst HE IS FRENCH!! And now ALL AMERICANS ARE FRENCH NOW!!!!



The Franchification of America has just started


If it comes to this, I want to be the pitcher then…

The Gaysrael of Gaymerica. April 9, 2009 - Nation, we were warned that God would punish us if we ever went gay… of course the liberals rolled their eyes and laugh it off as it wasn’t a big deal, and then they called us crazy… UNTIL NOW!!

Nation, we have clear evidence that the reason that Nationwide gun crime and mass murder is on the rise can be traced to a single source… assault weapons GAY MARRIAGE!!! I knew it!!!

Thanks to Real Americans like Robert Peters, President of Morality in Media (which you can contact at 212-870-3210 to thank him for his relentless work against The Gays), has discovered the source of all crimes in America. "Gay Marriage causes mass murder and all gun crimes here in America!" Of course it’s so simple!!

Here is how it works: The Gays + Marriage = MASS MURDER

According with Robert Peters, (actual quote) "This secular value system is also reflected in the 'sexual revolution,' which is the driving force behind the push for 'gay marriage;' and the Iowa Supreme Court decision is another indication that despite all the damage this revolution has caused to children, adults, family life and society (think abortion, divorce, pornography, rape, sexual abuse of children, sexually transmitted diseases, trafficking in women and children, unwed teen mothers and more), it continues to advance relentlessly.

"It most certainly is not my intention to blame the epidemic of mass murders on the gay rights movement! It is my intention to point out that the success of the sexual revolution is inversely proportional to the decline in morality; and it is the decline of morality (and the faith that so often under girds it) that is the underlying cause of our modern day epidemic of mass murders.”

Such brave words, now that’s a Real American Hero. Do liberals don’t have any restrain in their deviant sexual appetite? Nation, Real Americans are the only moral people left on this planet, we must take our cause to stop the Gay Epidemic before is too late…

Nation, there are other Heroes out there looking out for Real America, Heroes like Maggie Gallagher. And according with her, if we are not careful our children will be indoctrinated into Gay Marriage. We even have evidence that The Gays are hosting child weddings in kindergartens so that our poor children can get Gay Married as soon as possible! That is sick!! Nation, I don’t know about you but The Gays have gone too far, they are torturing our little children with their gay agenda, bringing harm to the innocent… so we must now hunt down THE GAYS! Nation, I propose a policy in which we teach our children to stop The Gays and to hunt them down, that way we can indoctrinate educate our children to the dangers of The Gay Disease…

Better yet! I received some wonderful news that Maggie Gallagher is proposing an anti-gay initiative that will destroy The Gays forever!! She calls it the “2 Million for Marriage” or the 2 M4M initiative! Hey, I like that, it sounds neat… 2M4M! 2M4M! 2 M4M! 2 M4M!

2 M4M!!!!!!!!!!!!

I like the sound of it, 2 M4M... I think we should make a giant banner and hang it in front of the "National Organization for Marriage" (NOM) building, that will teach a lesson to The Gays! Nation, the NOM will lead us to the promise land free from the Gay Disease... and strangely enough, every time I mention NOM I feel hungry...

Nation, we must be united against The Gay threat, as long as we work together, hold our convictions, and donate tons of money to the anti-gay movement volunteer to the anti-gay movement, we can defeat the Gay Army once and for all! Nation, is time to destroy The Gay Liberal Sexual Deviant Agenda!! Only God and Real America can save us now…

Which reminds me, once we had dealt with The Gay problem, we should move next on with dealing with the “undesirables” problem, after all, it is for the children… someone please think of the children!!!

  • UPDATE: Nation, I just received word that the 2M4M website is up... funny... it doesnt look like it was made by the NOM

Socialism Forces Children to Gay Marry Each Other


In Communist America, Obama™ forks you!

Comrade Obama™ Wants You To Be Gay

The Communist States of America, April 9, 2009 - Nation, I have some terrible news. just learned that 53% of American believe capitalism is the best economic system in the world 47% of un-American traitors believe communism is the path to economic prosperity and salvation!! Those damn pinko commie traitors!!

Nation, I feel like vomiting, the fact that we even have at least one commie pinko traitor in this country is a threat one too many we can bear with… Nation, if we are not careful we may end up like Godless Communist Canada. Do you want to be Canada??? *Pukes*

I am sorry, the thought of it, makes me want to regurgitate my lunch and feed it to the starving CEOs of this patriotic country…

As you know, these pinko commies hippie bear-loving liberals are destroying America. Not only that they are also destroying our beloved Stephen Colbert's source of income… worst, we have proof that some third-rate cable network is stealing Stephen’s trademarked material… I think the cable station is called… was it Communist Central? Yeah, we should boycott that station for stealing Stephen's copyrighted content!!

Soon, all the Ultra Rich Real Americans will be forced to relocate due to the communist leader's high taxes on the rich hard working Real Americans…

Nation, is time for our Revolution… I don’t have to tell you that if Real Capitalist Americans don’t rescue their country from the clutches of socialism, we may end up just like THE FRENCH!!! Which is much more worst than being Canadian!! (which, I never though I would ever say that!!)

Nation, we risk the danger of becoming like the socialist French--even the French hate socialist France! As you know the socialist bear-loving French like to steal from the rich people and CEOs Entrepreneurial Americans helpless and vulnerable French people who aren't afraid to make money and redistribute this ill-gotten, blood money among themselves. That is pure Communism and could set a dangerous precedent if it ever becomes popular here in America… those heartless bastards!!! There is nothing acceptable in imprisoning people in a detrimental environment for economic and satisfactory gain…

…While we are in the subject of the economy, I just came up with an awesome idea to save our economy. A Reality TV Show!!! “Who Wants to Get Laid-Off?”, where the losers winners gets unlimited unpaid time off with no benefits get non-negotiable vacation time! And the best part is that the company gets to save tons of money so their CEOs can buy that new mansion they always wanted which can be infused back into the economy!! With such an abundance of candidates we can run the show for countless seasons! Why should so many people be saddened by the Obama Recession when we can use this golden opportunity to entertain the masses? I hear that Fox likes my idea… can't wait for it…


Mooslim Leader Weakens America’s Security

Terrorism wins again!

The Terrorist State of Mooslim America. April 9, 2009 - Nation, as you know the terrorist socialist mooslim leader is cutting military spending, threatening America’s military excessive reasonable budget and weakening America’s resolve to fight our enemies… our armed forces and our Nation is exposed to terrible dangers and the threat of terrorism. Plus, we will never get those awesome cool gigantic robots now! I was promised giant robots with lasers, missiles, and multiple cannons!!! An ostentatious monument of excessive military spending!!

Nation, why do liberals hate Real America? Specially the men and women in uniform? Nation, our soldiers deserve our respect, and reverence… until we don’t need them anymore, then we should just toss them on the streets. If they cant fight anymore they aren’t real soldiers… damn moochers…

It is not just America’s defense that is at risk…

The mooslim president has endangered America’s finances to the brink of collapse, it is all his fault. Nation, America is suffering from a dangerous disease… this disease is called welfare queens and poverty and there is only one solution to fix this problem. We should just ignore it until it goes away, problem solve! Hey! I think I just found a way to save our economy too!

Nation, we cannot allow this to continue, as you know the socialist mooslim leader is planning to tax all Real Americans of ALL of their wealth to finance his socialist agenda. Well, as you know there are still Real American Heroes that wont allow this. The revolution is here and we will overthrow this mooslim tyrant soon! Nation… I have an idea on how to solve the mooslim problem, and if it works we wont just only deal with just one mooslim, but all of the mooslims that infiltrated America! And once Obama™ is gone, we can elect a new president… I have a suggestion, I know this guy who is pro-business, anti-socialism, capitalist, anti-liberal and definitely not a friend of the gays! He is perfect!!!

But Nation this is not good enough. Sure, expulsion of mooslims may solve one of the problems relocation of mooslims will save America, but we must also deal with The Gays, and other undesirables… specially the godless kind of undesirables. Which is why we should support State Rep. Betty Brown (R-Terrell) from Texas. I was told she has a GREAT idea on how to solve the “foreigners” problem… here is her actual quote:

Ko told the committee that people of Chinese, Japanese and Korean descent often have problems voting and other forms of identification because they may have a legal transliterated name and then a common English name that is used on their driver’s license on school registrations.

Easier for voting?

Brown suggested that Asian-Americans should find a way to make their names more accessible.

“Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?” Brown said.

Nation, I approve of this plan those damn Asians…. Wait what???? Who the hell does this bitch cracker thinks she is??? F@#K THIS BIATCH, I WANT HER HEAD ON A PLATER Nation, I got evidence that State Rep. Betty Brown may actually BE A MOOSLIM TOO!!! So stay away from her and don’t listen to her crazy ideas…

Better yet, if you are Asian and you suspect she is aiding the enemy, you can contact her and tell her what you think of the “ideas”…


Office #s:

(512) 463-0458

(903) 675-9500

Supreme Galactic Supreme Court Demands Ion Cannon Satellite to be Renamed Colbert!

God wants you to say NO to MANDATORY GAY MARRIAGE!

NASA Astronauts have been assimilated, resistance is futile!

The Galactic Universe of Colbert. April 8, 2009 - Nation, we are very close of owning of our own Ion Cannon satellite!! We have learned that NASA is feeling public pressure to hold up their end of the bargain. As you know American has spoken and they want their “Colbert” satellite, yet those brainiacs tried to weasel out of their promise and tried to undermine Democracy, just like our last election!!

Why do liberals hate democracy and America? And why do they hate Stephen Colbert?

Nation, I don’t have to remind you that we need this weaponized satellite to fight off the Mooslim Liberal Gay Bear Army (also known as the LGBT) that is threatening the safety of our Nation. But weaponized satellites are not good enough, which is why we will tax The Ultra Rich the poor to get additional funds to pay off our debt and our expensive houses to pay for our Ultra Patriotic Army.

Nation, we are at war. We have evidence that the socialist mooslim has created a Socialist Agency whose job is to maintain many concentration camps to incarcerate Real Americans and Ultra Rich Entrepreneurial Americans who go against the wishes of the mooslim leader. Nation, we must abolish this socialist agency that is also a waste of tax payer money... whats the worst that could happen?

The mooslim leader has already passed laws that makes gay marriage mandatory and making Atheism the state religion (??) wait, can atheism be a considered a religion?… I mean since they don’t believe in anything… MANDATORY GAY MARRIAGE AND MANDATORY ATHEISM!!!!!

Nation, we cannot allow the mooslim leader to weaken the fabric of our morals and our beloved ultra pure family values.

But Nation, it gets worst… we found the reason that the mooslim leader is stealing our money and is giving it to The Ultra Rich his socialist pals… Obama™ is not just a secret socialist mooslim, he is also a secret joo who is very greedy!!! (and his family is not far off of being like him. Is this the kind of man we want to teach values to our children?). Worst, he has gathered a lot of socialist gay atheist liberal mooslim allies to help him in enforcing gay marriage, to steal our money and to indoctrinate our children into socialism. The mooslim world has pledge a secret oath of loyalty to destroy America!!

Much much worst, as you know the mooslim and secret joo leader is disarming our citizenry and our Real American Armed force!! He is trying to weaken our military so they cannot function!!! How dare you abandon these Real American soldiers to the perils of the world, aren’t you suppose to keep them from harms way?

Nation, we are at war and I demand my rights to bear arms AND to have Stephen Colbert to have an Ion Cannon satellite to be named after him!! Once this war is over we can restore America to its former glory!

The Gays Demand Mandatory Gay Marriage

Prenup is optional

The Gay States of Gaymerica. April 8, 2009 - Nation, I am seeing with my eyes the erosion of America. We are surrounded by un-american traitors and sell outs that are hurting America. Democracy has been undermined and replaced with a dictatorship. A dictatorship that is seeking to silence the Republican Majority the voice of Real America. The mooslim muslin leader is bend on destroying America and suffocate us with his soft cotton fabric…

Nation, this liberal America is moving toward the creation of a secular godless nation of socialists that is weakening the resolve to fight our enemies. AND our enemies can sense our weakness…

SO I am saddened to say maybe is time for us Real Americans to seek a new land… maybe a New Real America… which is why I am suggesting all of us to move to Dubai George W. Bush’s friends’ neighborhood! I heard is a paradise on Earth in which wealth, capitalism, and power rules the streets… and the best part is that those silly liberals laws, labor unions, rule of law, and human decency is not welcome! A true Capitalist paradise!

Nation, America has abandoned good family values, the liberal gay bear-loving hippies are undermining the rule of the majority, and in the process we have become a nation of heathens and liberal oppressors… so we are living in an unreasonable environment for Real Americans… Nation, don’t see this a recognition of surrendering… more like taking a vacation… a break… until the revolution takes over… shhh… don’t tell the liberals

God Declares War on America

Mooslim leader praises Islam and calls for the death of America

The Atheist States of Gay America. April 6, 2009 - Nation, we truly live in dark times. As you know we were warned that if we allowed the liberal bear-loving gay-marrying democrats to rule America, God would bring pestilence, famine, war and death welfare, taxes, terrorism and debt as punishtment!! Nation… God is p@ss and angry!! All because we elected a mooslim president as our leader! How the hell did this happen? We had proof liberal people that he is a Gay Atheist Terrorist and a foreigner! What more do you need too see the error of your ways??? Oh, wait. This is the liberals we are talking about...

Nation, GOD is loosing the GOP is loosing The War Against Atheists, and God is punishing us for our failure with the resent rise of The Glorious Empire of the Atheist North Korea. First, we must rally our base against The Gays, but most of all we must destroy the un-american traitors that have switched sides!! Nation, we need to bring back theocracy and fundamentalism Christian Democracy to America, so we can help establish the Kingdom of Jesusland in America! After all we are just following God’s commands like John 18:36 “Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world” better be located with a beach side view”

The liberals has brought moral decay and has warped our family values that is spiritually bankrupting America. Soon all of us will be gay, liberal, hippie and socialist unless something is done. Worst, none of us will be able to go to Heaven because God wont consider us Real Christians Americans to be VIP!!!

Nation, is time to bring back God and good family values to America. First we must abolish all liberal laws that are useless and a waste of taxpayer money. Instead we should make our Bible The New American Constitution! After all the Bible is the word of God and God is good, and the Law Is Perfect since God is Pefect!! There! We just now have created the most Moral and God Loving Nation on Earth!! Take That Israel!

But as you know these Atheist Liberals bear-loving hippies hate God and they hate the bible; they would rather live a godless hedonistic life of sin and burn in Hell than to spend all eternity showering under the Glorious Golden Shower of God! So is time we deal with “The Gay Problem” and end it once and for all the disease that is causing the moral decay that threatens the soul of America!

Nation, the mooslim leader has called for a jihad against America, he has failed to keep us safe from terrorist and the Glorious and Marvelous Country of North Korea, and now he is taking a long vacation in some mooslim country while America burns!!! It is all his fault that America is suffering under The Gay Agenda and there is no other priority at this point, so let us put all our effort and focus of ending this Gay Age in America and ignore anything else!!

Obama™ is popular with other mooslims and moolism nations so it will be a difficult battle, but we can win because we have God in our side!




Some Japanese Dude: Godzilla!! The Glorious, Marvelous, and Most Benevolent North Korean Empire's Super Missile Rocket!!!




Comrade, we have super missile now!!

The United States of America The Glorious States of The New North Korean Empire. April 5, 2009 - NATION, WE ARE DONE FOR!!! THERE IS NO HOPE, NO SALVATION. IS OVER, WE ARE DOOMED! THERE IS NOTHING WE CANT DO!! AND I THINK I JUST SH@T MY PANTS!!!!


Comrades, welcome to Communist States of America! Our Glorious Leader Ever of North Korea has launched military missile against the objection of international capitalist pigs!! All hail and Glory, to our Glorious and Wise Leader!!! Citizen Comrade, we must now destroy The Capitalist Pig Leader who is undermining the socialist movement of the people! The Capitalist Pig President continues to defy socialism by rewarding the bourgeois class! The Proletariat must now control the means of production, we must now produce pitchforks and torches!!!

Citizen Comrade, democracy has failed to America. But thanks to the Wise Leadership of The Glorious Leader Ever of the New North Korean Empire, socialism and communism shall rule the world!!! Join us, and let us destroy the lies of capitalism and democracy! The Capitalist President has failed to safeguard the world, join us before is too late for you!

Fear not, for being ruled by the new Overlord Glorious Leader will grant Glorious benefits to the citizenry!! I promise there will be no consequences with new change. What could go wrong?

  • UPDATE: Comrades, we have evidence that the Capitalist Pig Japanese will sent their "Mechas" and Giant Robots to fight off The Glorious Military Might of North Korea!... wait... what??? Since when North Korea has a mighty army??? Nation, I welcome our New Japanese Overlords!!
Bandgundam mecha

North Korea may have super missiles, but Japan still has Gundams!

Mooslim Tyrant Demands Tribute

Obama™ Preaches the wonders of Islam…

Bears want fish, honey, and free money

The Mooslim Kingdom of Earth. April 4, 2009 - Nation, the mooslim leader is at it again, this time he is demanding an autonomous foreign nation to implement liberal policies or suffer his wrath!

Nation, I have no problem demanding some foreign power to adapt to our policies asking a sovereign state nicely to change their laws. After all The Greatest Ex-Presient Ever asked nicely to his allies to implement some of his ideas or we would nuke them. But Obama’s™ approach is down right tyrannical, demanding this sovereign state to implement his liberal policies or to suffer the consequences is down right being a bully! Nation, I don’t know about you, but that’s the behavior of a tyrant!

Worst, according with sources, the foreign nation’s law is a thousand years old, who are we to mess with their tradition? Plus, we are told the law comes from God! If it comes from God it must be good! Nation, we are told that these laws that the sovereign nation established is to protect their own “undesirables”… now I am not sure what kind of undesirables they have, but our translators believe they call their undesirables “cattles-that-must-stay-home-and-do-what-we-say-because-we-are-men-and-superior”… or so our translators tells us… so we think the laws are meant to protect their cows or something…

Nation, I am sick and tired of liberals pushing their liberal agenda on others and forcing people to live under their demands. Who the hell they think they are? We all know that their socialist and welfare policies are morally bankrupting our nation and our pockets. The mooslim leader seems to be more preoccupied with establishing his liberal policies around the world rather than focus on the real issues of here at home… like the protection of the innocent that may or may not exist one day but they still deserve our protection because God says so. And the abolishment of liberal policies and laws that is costing money to the tax payers.

I am sick and tired of creating special laws that protects minorities and undesirables. These “liberals laws” are a waste of time and of tax payer money so we should abolish them… whats the worst that could happen?…

But I digress… if these foreigners want to pass laws to protect “their cows”, who are we to be offended let alone criticize them?… so long as they worship the same God than us… what? They don’t? Then why am I defending them??? Nation, forget about them, they are foreigners and don’t deserve our attention… however, I am certain that IF McCain had been our president I am sure he would easy deal with foreign dignitaries better than this mooslim tyrant…

Oh, yeah, we also learned that “A computer worm” may or may not have infected the series of tubes… so beware… we named this worm “confikobamamania”

Sarah Palin For 2012 2009!! Obama™ goes Bonkers!!!

GOP Want Special Elections Now!

The United States of America. April 3, 2009 - Nation, I have some great news!!! The GOP is going to hold a “Special Election” to help Ted Stephens to regain his seat!!! Ted Stephens is going to be the NEW Governor of Alaska!!!

Now I know some of you are asking, “But what about Sarah Palin?”… Nation, Palin is going to be the NEW President of America!! The GOP informed Wikiality that they will hold new presidential elections she will be busy fighting off the Polar Bears… what a woman…

Meanwhile we received some news that The Mooslim Leader is inciting violence and aggression against Entrepreneurial Americans. We were told that Obama™ rounded up bankers, CEOs, and other financial geniuses in a room and threatened them with death unless they gave up all of their wealth… We were only able to get a fragment of their discussion:

AIG-Banker: All the Wall Street's Masters of the Universe requires is this: a simple offering of Bail Outs and Bonuses. A token of the socialist's submission to the will of the Free Market.

Obama: Submission. Well, that's a bit of a problem. See, rumor has it that The Gays have already turned you down. And if those brainiacs and … boy-lovers have found that kind of nerve …

Biden: [interrupting] We must be diplomatic.

Obama: And of course socialists [cutting Biden off] … have their reputation to consider.

AIG-Banker: Choose your next words carefully, Obama. They may be your last as President of the United States. [Obama turns and ponders the offer. He looks to various people around him, the last of which is Michelle]

Obama: Bail Outs and Bonuses...? [He draws his sword and points it towards the AIG-Banker, whose back is to a large, deep well. The “Godless Killing Machines” draw their swords and point them to the other bankers and CEOs]

AIG-Banker: Madman... You're a madman!

Obama: Bail Outs and Bonuses... You'll find plenty of both down there [indicates the oubliette with his sword].

AIG-Banker: No man, Mooslim or Gay, no man threatens a Capitalist!

Obama: [angrily] You bring the Subprime Mortgage Crisis and the deeds of foreclosed houses to my White House's steps! You insult my First Lady. You threaten my people with bankruptcy and debt! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Capitalist Pig. Perhaps you should have done the same.

AIG-Banker: This is blasphemy! This is madness! [Obama looks toward Michelle, who nods]

Obama: [facing the AIG-Banker] Madness? THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SOCIALISM! [kicks the AIG banker into the well]

Nation, I never knew AIG-Banker, but he shall be missed...

International Scandal unfolds in G-20

That One is destroying America’s image

The Liberal Bear-loving Hippie Gay liberal Army of France. April 3, 2009 - Nation, as you know the situation in G-20 has become unstable ever since That One gave his anti-American speech and insulted many Heads of States recently; worst his pervy wife couldn’t keep her hands off some poor old lady and is causing an uproar. But if you think that was the end of it, you were wrong… for you see we received news that a Cat Fight broke out during the conference, and it has damage America’s image FOREVER!!! Wikiality learned that AfricaPatchRedBlackGreen   M'Schelle   AfricaPatchRedBlackGreen, some French whore, and a gay guy got into a Cat Fight about who was the hottest in the room… oh, boy… it was horrible…

Nation, this is one of the reasons women shouldn’t meddle with affairs of the state, let alone with politics. Women are such emotional creatures that are useless for a governing body, which is why we need laws to tell them what to think, what to do, and how to feel we need laws to protect women to survive in a Man’s world… and man’s world is thought… fight club thought… If it wasn’t for us guys passing protective laws, we would have a bunch of psychotic sex-craze wymen having lots of sex and abortions… Ladies you are welcome…

GOP Awesome Plan Will Restore Economy and Elect John McCain Sarah Palin as New President!!!

GOP demands a do over new elections

The Patriotic States of America! April 3, 2009 - Nation, the outlook still looks grim for America. But do not fear! The GOP has unveiled their new plan to save America forever! They want a do-over! to impeach Obama™ and hold a New “Special Elections” and anoint Sarah Palin as the true President of America! It is time to hold fair and legitimate elections!! And bring back decency to the political office.

As you know THE MOOSLIM LEADER continues to bring embarrassment to our country. If you remember “someone” (I wont name names, but you know who you are) caused a controversial scandal in the palace *coughmichellecoughdeviantcoughpervertcoughmolesterofqueeniescough* and OMG, yeah because they are a bunch of pervies, the other Nations decided to keep their distance… what a bunch of loooosers!!! O-M-G AfricaPatchRedBlackGreen   M'Schelle   AfricaPatchRedBlackGreen is wearing such tacky clothes…

Nation, ever since the mooslim leader took office, America’s economy has crashed because of excessive liberalism and socialist policies that he passed the day he took the oath of office… our poor free market is too sensitive to socialist change… shame on you That One!! Now the insidious socialist wont stop with just destroying the free market, but he is also pushing his socialist doctrine to all Americans by giving away free money tax payer money to CEOs, bankers, and other conglomerates poor welfare queens!! Do not be fooled, we know this is a conspiracy to steal our money!! We have evidence that the economy is not crashing!!!… wait… yeah. Obama is to blame for our destroyed economy AND for fabricating a conspiracy to make our economy look bad to steal from us… he is guilty of both crimes!!!

Nation, we must act quickly! Everyday That One stays in power, more gays are getting gay married! And their numbers are increasing!!! Worst, as we predicted Animals are attacking our morals! And is not helping that the liberal media is being bias when it comes with what is wrong with America…

Nation… is time for Real Americans to save America.

Bankers and CEOs Unveil New Plan to Save Global Economy!!

GOP likes the idea

The Corporate Capitalist States of Earth. April 2, 2009 - Nation, I just learned a great way to make money!! The plan is very popular among bankers and CEOs, and no, this time is not a ponzi scheme, a bail out, or a mortgage loan!! The Plan is called “The G20 Protest Game: Arrest, Death, and Injuries for Bonus Points” “Operation G20: Sequestration, Being-Termination, and Grievance Game”! The more sequestration, being-termination, and grievances are implemented on the protesters, the more money you get!! Is such a fun game, and no one gets hurt… at least no one important, that is…

While the GOP, bankers, and CEOs come up with a plan to save the world’s economy, we have evidence that the godless hippie bear-loving liberals were busy doing “other things” rather than save America’s economy…

Wikiality even learned that AfricaPatchRedBlackGreen   M'Schelle   AfricaPatchRedBlackGreen Obama™ insulted some foreign dignitaries and is causing an uproar of some kind…


AfricaPatchRedBlackGreen   M'Schelle   AfricaPatchRedBlackGreen groping some poor old lady

GOP: Let Us Pray for Victory!

Liberal Atheists will loose because they pray to no one

The Christian States of Christendom. April 2, 2009 Nation, the GOP gave a call for prayer! As you know we need God more than ever to claim victory against the heathens and the liberals and of course those godless bears! As you know these are desperate times and the only one who can save us is God! We even received urgent cries of help from South Carolina, according with sources the GOP Governor Mark Sanford is burning South Carolina to the ground as a sacrifice to please God, and maybe get anointed as the new President Liberals and bears are eviscerating the population!!!!

Nation, we have no choice… we must pray… we must pray to God to wipe out our enemies forever!!! After all is the right thing to do…

Stephen Colbert: The Hottest Thing in the Blogosphere!!

Nation cant get enough of Colbert

The Colbertican States of Colbert. April 2, 2009 - Nation, as you know the blogosphere or Big Round Series of Tubes, is buzzing like a bunch of mad bees! Ever since Colbert pledge to help Glenn Beck to get America closer, all hell broke loose!!

America has heard the message, and Stephen Colbert (and Real Americans) weeps with Glenn Beck!

Our Beloved Stephen Colbert was so moved with tears, that he had decided to launch his own project to help All Real Americans to save America!

So don’t forget to follow the link for the 10.31 project!!

Bizzaro World Shocking News: Dancing Pope and Alien Visitors Bring World Peace


The Dancing Pope celebrating like is 1999!!! Far Out!!!

New Golden Age for Humanity Begins

The Golden Age of Humanity. April 2, 2009 - Dude and Dudettes, I bring you some wonderful news. The Alien Overlords are not Overlords at all but peaceful visitors bringing a new age for humanity, far out! I was told they will tell us the cure for all diseases, help us to establish a new financial and economic system that will not only surpass capitalism but make socialism looks like charity work… a new egalitarian golden age for peace will start today… and it is all thanks to Pope John Paul II!! Awesome!... As you remember the Radical Cool Pope came back to life two years ago and kicked Joseph Alois Ratzinger'ss @$$ (Aka ex-Pope Benedict XVI)… we learned his "Alleged Death" was a diabolical plan from the Vatican all along… ever since then Catholicism has radically changed and became one of the most coolest and greatest religion on Earth ever!…

…but dude I am missing the point, the Alien visitors told us the secrets of the universe and it will blow up your minds! The secret has already brought world peace, eliminated hunger, and brought enlightenment to the people... And I was given the honor to tell you the message!!! Far out and Radical, man!!! Here it is: The secre…




Joe The Plummer Explains why Unions destroy America’s economy…

…which is why Nation we must do our best to fight off the Polar Bears.

But I have some great news! The True Religion has called on arms to fight off the mooslim leader and I was asked to join the crusade!! Nation, victory is close!!

Nation, we are at war and the mooslim socialist leader wont stop his socialist policies!!! We have shocking evidence that Obama™ is destroying the American way of life, like Nascar, to be replaced with his socialist boring doctrine!!!! Shame on you Obama™!!! Nascar is very important for Real American! It is a very important way of life!!!

Worst, we also have evidence that That One created a concentration camp… for The Ultra Rich! Entrepreneurial Americans who wont accept socialism. We even have evidence that the mooslims socialist plan is nothing but a big pile of Organic-waste-from-a-bovine-of-an-Agricultural-establishment.

Nation, this persecution must be stopped. We have evidence that the bear-loving liberals wont stop with The Ultra Rich Real Americans, they also want to jail The Greatest Ex-President Ever as well for making too much money for The Ultra Rich Real Americans!!! So the GOP is launching a rescue plan to not only save our economy but also the Ultra Rich Real Americans from prosecution! Is time for these hippie pinko commies to stop persecuting our CEOs, after all we need them to make America great, so leave the CEOs alone! They have done nothing wrong!!

Luckily The Glorious Chairman of The Republican Party was able to escape the mooslim’s storm troopers…

Nation it is time for Real Americans to rise up, and stop the Tyrant from destroying America. Only Real Americans know what America needs!!

As you know many Real Americans will hold massive protests around The Nation to stop the government from taxing rich people Real Americans, and our support is growing everyday! It is all thanks to the leadership and the great instigator of this massive protest, Rick Santelli, and I am sure he will lead this massive anti-tax protest and anti-free-money anti-bail out movement against That One.

Also some additional good news, we got shocking pictures of Michelle Obama™ getting it on with some Drag Queen!! SHOCKING!!

Bizzaro World News: Parallel Universe Overwrites Articles

The Onion, The Most Trusted News: DNA Evidence Frees Black Bear Convicted of Black Man Attack. “This is a great day for Black Bears!”

Bizzaro Wikiality Loves hippies and bears!

The Free Loving States of All Nations. April 1, 2009 - Dudes and dudettes, is a free love morning with your free loving and positive karma informant. Now the big dudes tell me that we were experiencing technical difficulties of some kind, something about fluctuating temporal energies and something about the space time continuum… far out… anyway I just found some interesting information about the world…

First Republican Black President Barry O’Bama, and The First Female Vice President, liberal activist, feminist Harvard graduate, Sarah Palin (and their sidekick, Super Toddler) have promised us that they will fight off "the alien invasion force" AND complete their quest for the Treasure of Stimuli. We are told O’Bama’s adventure will have lots of bloodshed and naked women… figures, we elected this black Republican, and his first idea to fix America is going to war with Alien visitors... that we know nothing and MAY possibly be peace loving and the only hope for humanity!... and plundering legendary relics from an ethnic groups of peace loving, diverse, and venerable wise people that settled in this country long before The White Man… not cool dude!! I will never understand what Mss Palin sees in him, or why she accepted the Vice Presidential nomination with such a douche… and she was such a smart woman…

Democratic Presidential candidate John McCain should have won... wouldnt it be cool to have a 15 year old as our youngest president? I still remember his promise of cool video games, mandatory downloadable free internet music, and mandatory teaching of x-treme sports in school...

Barry O’Bama The Republican

Hasn’t anyone taught O’Bama the need for diplomacy?… as for the Treasure of Stimuli, leave it alone! Those treasures are relics from those poor Natives, whose ancestors collected it for centuries so they can gather dust and be venerated by generations with their adoring gaze… not to be displayed in museums or to be pawn…

Rumor has it that the reason that Barry is neglecting our economy is because is not fun… Oh, yeah and his idea to start up a chain of fast food restaurants to capitalize on his popularity is a bad idea, dude you are the most unpopular president ever!! Plus how is a chain of restaurants going to save our economy?… I will never understand what does Michelle sees in him… and she was such a sexy smart woman… but you got to admit she has a great badonkadonk

Now dudes, I know I am going to sound racist, but the only reason he got elected president was because he is a black man… and he killed Darth Cheney on the final battle back in 2008… but sources tells me O’Bama kept Cheney’s Storm Troopers as his personal guards… The new boss is the same as the old boss…

But this Republikkkan won’t stop there. It is well known that O’Bama is an advocate of child abuse. He even sent threat letters to anyone who opposed his plan on spanking children with financial burdens to save the economy… and his diabolical plan to turn all women into his sex slaves… mmm… maybe that’s why he is so popular with the women…

Now dude and dudettes, you all know I don’t like the Republikkkans, but I heard some rumors that they want to play nice. Just yesterday they promised us they have a new budget plan. So this better be not another April fools joke… that would burn, yo… Meanwhile the Chairman of the GOP, Michael Steele, another rich whiteman, has promised they will save Amerikkka…

But not everything is bad news in Bizzaro America!

As you know Glenn Beck, liberal tv show host and humanitarian nominee of the year, gave a heartfelt speech about the need to bring more socialist reforms to save America. The speech was so moving that Hippie liberal college educated Steven Colbert gave an emotional speech to congratulate Beck… Even Ultra Conservative Morning Joe Nazi was speechless about it… Even Fox News agrees! A well known Fake News Program, which reminds me I cannot wait for the new "The Daily Show with Billy O'Reilly"...


Sarah Palin: Miss Universe 1984, Liberal Feminist, Harvard Graduate and Vice President of America

Democratic Senator Ted Stephen and advocate of Net Neutrality and the Internet, you know the guy who gave that awesome speech about the need to safeguard the Internet… you know the speech he gave that was eloquent, technical, demonstrating his advance understand of technology… yeah, dude that dude… well as you remember he was accused of corruption charges… and he won the case! He proved that the whole thing was a government conspiracy to undermine democracy… and guess who authorized his incarceration? None other than O’Bama… damn Republikkkan… is good to know that Senator Stephen will be back to work advocating equal rights and free Internets!

The Westboro Church, known to be supporters of equal gay rights, supporters of gay marriage, and an anti-war movement are at it again. The group protested in front of the White House for denying gays equal rights, “Is a shame that we elected a black president, just to find out he is no different than his white counter part…” declared Pastor Fred Phelps and Nobel Peace Prize winner, he then held a sign that reads “God Hates Homophobes”. Good luck to you dudes!

Rush Lezlie Limbaugh has this to say, “As a transgender lesbian, I am shocked that this president doesn’t seem to understand that our love is not deviant, but a normal one!” As you know ten years ago Rush Limbaugh had a sex operation and married her lesbian lover but their marriage was not recognized by the state. Ever since then Lezlie Limbaugh had been hosting a far left radio show and waging war against conservatives… even liberals think she may be too far on the left… Far out girl, and more powa to ya...

The United Democratic States of Afghanistan passed a women’s suffrage bill, giving equal rights and protection to women. President Osama Bin Laden, a world renown humanitarian and peace activist has this to say, “I always knew this day will come. Our years of struggle against violence, terrorism, and the demand for equal rights are paying off!... DEATH TO ISLAMOFACISM!!!”

Now dudes and dudettes I just learned that Dayana Mendoza, Miss Universe 2008 visited Guantanamo Bay… for the opening of the Gitmo Hotel and Casino!! As you know the Hotel is located in the territories of the Liberal Capitalist States of Cuba (a well-known capitalist corrupt country and Tax Heaven for white rich people, where fat CEOs off shore their wealth while they gamble in their casinos) and those capitalist pigs have decided to open a new Hotel and Casino to milk the poor and dumb tourists… but Miss Universe agrees that the Hotel was awesome… dude maybe I should visit the place someday… to protest... we need to embargo Cuba until we can finally bring socialism to their shores!

Peace out man...

Courageous Congresswoman To Ban Sexually Explicit Symbols


Mrs. Bachmann always keeps her eyes open to the socialist agenda.

Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann works to erase atheistic symbols from American typography

ANOKA COUNTY, MINNESOTA, April 1, 2009-- After fending off a close election against a known socialist, the Honorable Michele Bachmann was finally able to get back to doing God's Work in America's Congress.

"The news media should do a penetrating exposé and take a look--I wish they would--I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people of Congress; are they pro-America or anti-America. I think people would love to see an exposé like that."[1]"

Since being freed from her beautiful, beautiful mind, her sentiments have resonated with Americans, floating ever so delicately in the cold Minnesota air, awaiting the perfect moment to rain Christian love down upon American glyphs and rid us of the Satanic socialist symbols that have plagued us, lo these many years.

However, this time--in place of the socialist scourge hiding in Congress--Mrs. Bachmann's set her sights on an older and much more pervasive target: the number six (6).

"The kids will like the new number. It has an simple name that they will remember," the mother informed reporters during the news conference she called to introduce the number she suggests to replace the 6, "And it's easy to draw!"

Mrs. Bachmann provided a kit with all the information about her new number to the media. The Bachmann number shall be called "fish" and will be drawn thusly: JesusFish.

Mrs. Bachmann believed that the old number was hurting America's children. She asked that reporters stop saying the name, so as not to upset them any further. After forming a task force to study how often students are subjected to subliminal sexual messages from their alphabet, numbers and colors, it was decided that the number after 5 would be replaced.

"That old number was one letter away from s-e-x," Bachmann said breathlessly, her eyes glazed over in excitement, "and as everyone knows, once you've got kids thinking about s-e-x, they'll be asking about homosexuality and next thing you know everyone will be pregnant and spreading herpes."

Citizens in her district are looking forward to Bachmann's innovation. An unnamed parent told's reporter, "The public schools have been pushing their way of counting for far too long. We need to orient our children's precious minds away from secular counting and teach them a non-sexual way to count."

An unnamed Anoka-Hennepin school board member already searching online for Texas school books that use the new system agrees, "My hope is that one day every American child will be able to say how old the Earth is without automatically thinking about getting sweaty and naked and fornicating during lunch hour."

Congresswoman Bachmann plans to introduce a bill that outlaws all sexually-suggestive symbols in public schools when Congress returns from Easter break.


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