Rush Limbaugh Receives Terrorist Threat!
Ralph Nader Hippie Bear-loving Terrorist wants his wallet head
Islamofacist States of America. January 30, 2009 - Nation, it was only a matter of time... Al-Qaeda has sent a threatening terrorist letter to our Real American Hero, Rush Limbaugh.
While we wont publish the letter, because it will just embolden the enemy, all you need to know is that they hate everything that we stand for and wants Mr. Limbaugh's
Obama takes away
Bonuses allowances this year
Ultra Rich left with pocket change…
Wallstreet. January 30, 2009 - Well Nation, we were warned. Obama is a socialist and he has decided that the
Ultra Rich American people has too much money. Why the other day he said all Rich Americans should be ashamed of having money!! The liberal gay bear-loving hippies are demanding that the Ultra Rich Real Americans give back their money to the General Secretary of the Central Committee of the Islamofacist Communist Party of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics of America!!
Rich people were forced to survive with just pocket change, “Times are difficult to me. I already have three mistresses and I can only afford two!” claimed a CEO.
“Businesses are slow… we were forced to cut off services like butlers, maids…
financial advisors subprime mortgage lenders and chauffeurs…” cried a businessman…
“Obama is a socialist idiot!” claimed a banker, “I cant buy anything with just
$400,000 pocket change… how am I suppose to afford a jet, or a yatch, or a new house goodies? Without us, the poor wont have anyone to give them money! This is trickle down economy, and it wont work unless we get large sums of money to give away!”
“You have to understand, bonuses are incentives that make people to work harder… and if they work harder we make more money… and if they make more money everybody wins!” claims
John A. Thain some dude…
hedgefund manager wino gives his opinion, “I have been eating caviar, drinking Champaign, and sleeping in five stars hotels, thanks to the greed charity of the Rich Ignorants compassionate Real Americans… Without them, I would probably be sleeping on the streets!”
PSSST. RAHM EMMANUEL IS A MEANIE AND A DOODY-HEAD. PASS IT ON
Obama may have cooties…
Kindergarden Washinton. January 30, 2009 - Rahm-bo hash ben so mean latelie… firsh he kicked ush, then he said awful things… like name calling… and other mean things… I haet him!
Hes an awful awful boy… meanie!!!
SHOCKING NEWS GREAT NEWS ?: GOP ELECTS MOOSLIM BLACK MAN AS NEW LEADER
token black man is a God-Fearing Good Christian
Pathetictown Washington. January 30, 2009 - Nation, the GOP has found a way to get us back in power! Since the liberal gay bear-loving hippies love mooslims black people, the GOP has decided to get a little “hipster” and get their own black man to be the new chairman of the GOP (but we secretly think that Rush Limbaugh is the Real Leader, the black man is just for show…)
Now, for those who don’t have black friends, you are probably
scared confused about who is this guy… well, I have reliable sources that this black man is good… he is a good republican and we have the evidence to prove it!
|republican black man loves puppies!!|
|republican black man LOVES Bush!! And if he could, he would like to gay marry him…!|
Canada Wannabe-Americans French Whores Declares War on America’s Peanuts
Mr. Peanuts is not pleased
Frenchwhoretown, Canada. January 30, 2009 - Nation, while America is struggling with this terrible economy caused by that mooslim president, our entrepreneurial industries are doing their best to influx more capital into the free market… unfortunately looks like Canada hates our peanuts…
What’s wrong with you Canada? Our peanuts are so
good cheap, that you have to be insane not to buy them!! They are so cheap that we are selling them like… well… peanuts… I bet if we were talking about soft lumber it would be a different story…
Canadians are idiots… we have been told that our peanuts are rich on
metal fragments iron supplements, so its healthy for you! These peanuts are so good cheap, that it should be a crime just to look at them…
UPDATE: Canada may hate our peanuts, but at least other 'foreign' nations "love" our American's peanuts... China cant get enough of it!
EMERGENCY NEWS: Volcano God is Angry!!
Ted Stevens says he just wants to be friends…
Anchorage, Alaska. January 30, 2009 - Nation, the Volcano God known as Mt. Redoubt (translated as “He Who Votes Twice as Republican”) is Mad as Hell! First this benevolent deity was piss off that his
republican Human Friend (Ted Stevens) was kicked out of town… but He was ok, they are still pen pals… plus he was still hoping President Palin McCain would reverse that decision… until America voted for “that one”…
…but that was fine… at least the democrats didn’t get the 60th majority senate seat… …urgh… sorry I almost vomit…
All of this has not pleased The Volcano God… but there are some good news… the GOP will soon be electing their new party leader, and I have credible sources that Limbaugh will lead us to victory in 2012!!
The Greatest President Ever is Still The Greatest President Ever
Karl Rove returns from
America, USA. January 30, 2009 - Nation, thanks to a technicality, Obama may not be the president, but Yo-Yo Ma will have to wait before he can take his rightful presidency!
In the meantime, while the political debacle continues, George W. Bush is still the president by default! And we have evidence this time! According with
the Terminatrix Elizabeth Cheney, a renowned scholar and our expert legal advisor, George Bush’s presidential powers can be extended even beyond the officially recognize period, he can even be president for life! (but not in name). *sniff* his papa must be so proud… they grow so fast…
Now, the liberal gay bear-loving hippie democrats will tell you that’s not true, that such suggestion is not just silly, but illegal, and unconstitutional… sorry, but if Bush and Cheney say they are in power, they are in power because they says so!
Even Karl Rove agrees that there is only one Real President, and that is George W. Bush.
2009 Report Card: America’s Infrastructures Fails Third Grade
will go to summer school
Islamic States of America. January 30, 2009 - It hasn’t been more than a month and the new mooslim president has brought nothing but failure and disaster to this Nation. The economy is collapsing, we have two wars, unemployment is on the rising, foreigners are still invading America, and Mother Nature is banging us with tons of snow…
I knew I should have voted for the old guy
But that is not the worst part… you better sit down for this one… are you ready?… Nation… America’s infrastructures will have to repeat a grade!
Now don’t get mad, I know the report card looks awful… I blame the new guy. Did anyone ever told Obama about The Greatest President Ever’s “No Bridge Left Behind” policy?… no, of course no… instead he wants to toss money to the problem…
I blame myself, maybe I didn’t put enough iron in their cereal… or steal… or copper… and maybe we should had been more strict… you know… no tv or movies until they got the grades up… Maybe we should have hired a tutor and make sure our railway system learned its letters, for sewage to know the difference between clean and
polluted ‘super rocket soft drink’, and for levees to get more exercise in PE…
Nation, this report card reflects badly on us! I heard Canada is flaunting their infrastructure since their highways can play the violin! And Japan’s monorail is lording the fact that they will go to Harvard next year!
So Nation, we must demand Congress… to lower our infrastructures standards to the lowest rank so that way it looks like we have the safest and greatest infrastructures in the world!
EMERGENCY NEWS!!: Mooslim President will become New Emperor of America!!!!
Islamofacist Nazi States of Commie America. January 29, 2009 - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111
Nation, they have finally lost it!! According with sources Obama is thinking of appointing Sen. Judd Gregg (R-NH) to serve as his Secretary of Commerce!!
Now, you are probably asking yourself… but Why not? After all he is a Republican, the guy is in our side… yes… our side… for now… But the real news is that the GOP wont only loose Judd Gregg to the hippie bear loving liberals, but they will be loosing another republican seat!! The New Hampshire's Democratic governor John Lynch would appoint Gregg's replacement (and guess who will he be appointing? A DEMOCRAT!!)
Lately the democrats have started to grow a spine, and this is no fun anymore!!
Nation, we must hope this doesn’t happen! The only saving grace will be if Al Franken DOESNT emerges victorious in the Minnesota recount… otherwise…
...sixty majority senate seat…
JUDD DONT DO IT!! ITS A TRAP!!!
Telethon: Mr. Rich Whiteguy Will Host Telethon for the
Rich Real Americans
Please donate your tax payer money so we can buy a new
yatch jet bank stuff that you commoners need…
Jagofftown, America - People of Wikiality! We need your help! As you know the economy has been hard and difficult for a lot of
rich folks Real Americans this year. Which is why the Ultra Rich important people will be holding a telethon exclusive only to the rich, the powerful, and the politicians people who know what they are doing…
Nation, as tax payers we must sent a clear message to congress! We must help these folks so they can help us! After all that’s how trickle down economics works! By helping these
rich billionaires entrepreneurial investors they will use that money to invest in America… but unfortunately there are obstacles making it difficult for these ‘poor’ folks to help us… one of those obstacles is a deadly liberal disease called “unionnitis”, a terrible deadly disease, which is why it must be funded with free money “bailout” money to help eliminate this deadly roadblock toward economic prosperity.
Unfortunately the commie gay hippie bear-loving liberals are demanding a stop, they say we shouldn’t
use tax payer money fund for a cure against “Liberaliviginitus”, “Unionnitis”, and other deadly liberal diseases…
Nation, I don’t know about you BUT I AM MAD AS HELL!!! This is an indignation and We should boycott congress until they listen to our demands!
I am so mad I don’t know what to do…
believe an investigation is warranted are mad as hell that Rich White folks cant use tax payer money we cannot find a cure against these deadly liberal diseases, please call 202-224-3121 to let your representatives and the key committee chairs listed on the letter know your opinion.
Democrats unleash their own Anti-American Video
…is ok… but they are no Ossama
Islamofacist States of America. January 29, 2009 - Nation, it was only a matter of time. Now that the democrats have their own mooslim president, the liberal bear-loving gay-loving hippie democrats are trying to emulate their mooslim leader so they can please him. So they decided to release their own anti-american video to threaten any Real American that gets in their way and to bully the GOP to do the will of their new mooslim master…
Here is the Anti-American video. I must warn you about the disturbing graphic content and the foul language that is used in the video.
New Peanut Butter To Be Sold All Over US
so delicious, it is to die for!
Greedytown, USA. January 29, 2009 - While many industries are shutting down, it is good to know there is hope for economic recovery. Nation, I have some good news, The Prescott Group will be opening new factories all over
China the US! Many of them will start making peanut butters in a revolutionary way… why such opening is important? According with sources they can produce peanut butter cheaper, faster, and better than most traditional companies, thus making a profit! creating more capital to be invested into the market and feeding all of America at the same time! If this works they have announced they will open several new factories to produce toothpaste, milk, powder milk, pet foods, and other consumer goods that could kill us save us a ton of money!
The Prescott Group will
take over buy an already established peanut butter plant in Georgia so they can start right away, it was previously known as Peanut Corp. of America “The plant has a reputation of manufacturing safe and cheaper products, we were impressed” claimed CEO of the new peanut butter plant. The new peanut butter plant, and many future factories will implement the new revolutionary procedure, they say the new policy will follow the will of the market to produce cheaper products for the American consumer!
Obama The Infrastructure Socialist
“We don’t need clean water, just buy bottle water” claims
bottle water salesman a Real American
Socialist-town, USA. - Nation, the new mooslim president wants to socialize America’s infrastructure in his new “Socialist Liberal Package”… this is a very dangerous slippery slope into Socializing America. If we allow this, soon we will be converting into Atheism, learning to speak ruskie, and even gay marry each other!! First of all, that is a waste of good money! We still have road and bridges, and the last time we have a problem was
decades ago years ago months ago weeks ago …cant remember but I am sure nothing terrible has happened yet…
But my point is, you shouldn’t listen to these liberal Factinistas engineers, just like those scientist that claim Global Warming
is may be real (but only because the market says so), there is no proof that America’s infrastructures are in peril. A very ridiculous idea, this is nothing but another liberal lie…
I have solid evidence that there is no “crisis”, that this whole thing is nothing but a liberal conspiracy to Socialize America, and if we allow this to happen we will regret it… don’t listen to the lie, and tell congress to stop wasting good money on liberal lies! Instead we should let the market decide and fix our infrastructure! They have always known what is best for the
stock holder consumer American citizen…
GOP’s New Plan to Retake Congress!!
Rich White People Real Americans demand equal representation
Asswh*letown Patriot-town, USA. January 28, 2009 - Nation, while many Real Americans are despairing to the fact that we have a black mooslim president, the lost theft of congressional majority, and the shocking news that Obama is gay for Ahmadineloveyousomuchjihad…, there are still some who are still fighting the good fight in The War on Liberals.
The Liberal Media are so in love with the new mooslim president that they have undermined the American people, so they are of no help at all! Only Real Heroes like Papa Bear, and Rush Limbaugh and a few others can lead us in these trouble times.
Nation, we are tired of this democratic congress already, we should impeach them all and held new elections by now. But thankfully the GOP has listened to our pleads for help. Which is why Conservapedia is taking the fight against these sissified bear-loving liberals. According with our sources they will present a plan to take congress back, it will involve
kidnapping, harassment, assassination, blackmail, slandering, raep, and old fashion lynching some secret activities that we cannot reveal at the moment… hey it worked before!
Nation, we cannot waste a moment, we must put the GOP back in power before is too late, only they know how to bring back this nation back to its former glory! We must bring more tax cuts to the
rich people, cut off unnecessary services, and give more money bailout services to the rich banks robber barons vital financial institutions.
We must act now before all Real Americans are hunt down like animals
for violating the law!
EMERGENCY NEWS: DEADLY PLAGUE “LIBERALIVIGINATUS” HITS US!!!
Canada Neo America here I come
Islamofacist States of America. January 28, 2009 - Nation this it an emergency broadcast!!! We just recently learned that a deadly liberal plague is infecting Real Americans in overwhelming numbers! The CDC claims that it has already hit the whole US, and if this escalates it could possible turn America into a “Libealiviginatus” paradise, and the effects could last 4 years… maybe 8 if things goes worst… Since the Democrats are now the new Majority they haven’t done anything to stop the deadly plague, in fact they are encouraging it!
Nation, beware of this deadly disease, if you have these symptoms, you should call your doctor… no forget that, that will be too late, call your local priest and hope you get rapture before is too late!
The “Liberaliviginatus” symptoms includes:
- Attraction of the same sex!
- A desire to gay marry your
- Wanting longer school hours, more funding for museums, art centers, and libraries!
- A complete understanding of Evolution and the rejection of Creationism!
- Wishing to grow up to be a scientist or becoming a scientist!
- An unconditional love for bears, foreigners, The Gays, and the hippie way of life and the total embrace of Mother Nature!
- Complete rejection of the free market and the embrace of communism!
- And much much more… but if it feels “too good” and “liberating”, you have been infected!
But Nation, it may not be too late. According with our numbers, we can still stop the spread of this plague before it is too late. The numbers indicate that there aren’t enough
registered voters plague victims to overwhelm the majority of Real Americans, so we may have a chance…
…But if things do turn for the worst, I hear there is enough room for us Real Americans in
Canada Neo America. We should easily invade liberate them since half of them are French, plus I hear their government sucks, so we should easily get establish a New Republican/Conservative government…
Obama Challenges Mother Nature
|Obama continues War on Terra|
Obama: Bring it on, biatch!
America. January 28, 2009 - Nation, I may not like the new mooslim president, but at least he is not a wimp like the rest of the liberals are. First of all he challenged Mother Nature on his press conference, “Snow?… Ice?… you call this cold?… this is nothing guys! You think this is the beginning of an Ice Age? This is nothing! Mother Nature, Bring it on Biatch!!!” is what the mooslim president said… or so we are told…
That would have been the end of it, but unfortunately then he started to accuse all Real Americans of being wimps for canceling school because of an inch of snow. Hey, Obama! I am no wimp! I live in Colorado, and our weather is much more worst than your damn Chicago snowy weather, your weather is nothing but a corrupt mobster with a beaver as a toupee…!
He only accused Washington of being a town of wimps?… oh, well never mind. The whole town are a bunch of wimpy whiners I will give him that…
wait, did he just say that a little girl has more balls than the whole town of Washington combined?…
PETA releases new pr0n video: Sex with Veggies
“Too sexy for my stomach,” claims beef industry
|NBC: too sexy for our taste|
America. January 27, 2009 - Nation, the veggie-lovers meat-haters hippies from PETA are doing it again. This time they are trying to corrupt our children and confuse our stomachs with "too sexy" videos involving hot women and vegetables. Now, everyone knows that I love
sex pr0n meat and I like my burger to have been alive at some point in time, possibly a cow that was once chewing grass in its feeble innocence unaware of its impending doom.
Well, the animal-lovers-meat-haters-veggie-whores hippies want to release a new
ad Veggiality Pr0n video to convert the rest of America into vegetable-lovers so they can stop us from eating meat… what’s wrong PETA? Bestialiy was too strong for you?
I am sorry, but the only
ad pr0n video that I want to see better involve a chick eating a hot dog, chicken thighs, or maybe a horse’s… not some carrots, or cucumbers or a salad… that's just wrong and confuses the hell out of me... plus no one wants to see some video of a woman eating food in a sexy manner…
The Veggiality video will be released under the title of "Veggie Tails: Women love big carrots and cucumbers"...
Now if you can excuse me, I have to buy some groceries... suddenly I am hungry...
|Meat. Now, that’s more like it…|
Are you Smarter than A Celebrity?
Fox: Greatest Show Game Ever
America. January 27, 2009 - Nation, one of our most beloved political commentator have been challenged into one of those show contest to demonstrate their smartiness to the Nation. Of course, Papa Bear is no fool, and he is smart enough to crush anyone who dares to question him… which is why Papa Bear was challenged by some ditzy whore from Hollywood in a match of smartiness and a free coupon to ‘Six Flags’.
In an impressive match, Bill O’Reilly
lost the contest won the game!!! Take that Hollywood elite liberals! TMZ, a very serious publishing industry, has called the liberal whore, very very very dumb and she should leave the country soon…
In other news the country's economy is still collapsing and soon Western Civilization will fail Bill O'Reilly Won!! Hollywood Whore Elite Zero!!!!
The mooslim president will unveil new plan to
save destroy economy
Rush Limbaugh bows to destroy
Islamofacist States of America. January 27, 2009 - While Obama continues to tease us about his “Stimulus Package”, for days we have been wondering, “How big is it?” “Will it be ‘hard’ or ‘soft’ on the American public?” “Can we get it (the economy) up for long?”, etc… luckily we were able to attain some information as to how the new package will look like and how will it work. So far many Republicans are not happy with it…
Rumor has it that some
racists Real Americans have speculated that the “Stimulus Package” is more like a drug vaccine to stop the hemorrhaging of this economy. So Obama will be selling the vaccine to the American public. Obama will keep 90% of the profits, the government keeps 9%, and the rest goes to the public… which many Republicans are unhappy with it, they want a bigger cut and a Congressional Page to go with it.
black man democrat, he wants to toss money to the problem,” claimed a Republican senator, “What we need to do is to cut off the budget from unnecessary services, and let the market decide how to fix the economy… which is why we should give more bailout money to banks and corporations. Rich people know how to make money, not the government.”
“What do you expect from a liberal? There are not enough tax cuts in here! How am I supposed to buy me a new Corporate Jet if I can’t afford one? The American people wants… no... it needs to have their own corporate/private jets!! And we should make it so! Give
the rich us tax cuts, so that everyone can afford one!” claimed a CEO from some bank…
“Obama is a fool… The Greatest Ex-President Ever gave us tax cuts for eight years and that worked just fine. We need more tax cuts!!! Otherwise our nation’s economy will tank!” claimed a long life Republican.
Rich White Men Real Americans are unhappy of the Obama’s plan, a new group has been formed to save what is left of the economy. The group is called “RBACA” (Robber Barons Anti-Choice Association), and many believe that the Obama’s administration will destroy Capitalism forever unless drastic measures are taken to stop the mooslim president.
We got to interview Bernie Marcus, the charismatic co-founder of Home Depot “This is the demise of a civilization," said Marcus. "This is how a civilization disappears. I am sitting here as an elder statesman and I'm watching this happen and I don't believe it.” (actual quote)
According with many
Rich White Men Real Americans, Obama is creating a “Welfare Nation” and it is out of control, “You don’t just toss money to people and hope things will get better. What kind of fool does that? NEVER GIVE AWAY MONEY… but bailouts are ok…” shouted Bernie Marcus.
- UPDATE:: Republican
MajorityMinority have expressed concerns on the "Economic Package", and they decided they will not capitulate to the mooslim president just because he is the president. "Who the hell he think he is?" exclaimed House MajorityMinority Leader John Boehner (R-OH)
GOP takes long vacation
Karl Rove plans to conquer
Islamic States of America. January 27, 2009 - While the liberal gay-loving bear-cuddling hippies plan to
save destroy the American economy, many Republicans that lost their senate seat that were cheated from this election, have decided to take a long vacation. But it is not over yet, some Real Americans have shown interest in sabotaging salvaging this nation to the best of their knowledge, before it is too late…
The Greatest Mavericktrix Ever will spend some time hunting moose and bears in Alaska, and will also be getting ready for the Bear uprising, which is why she is funding a new Secret Organization to destroy
America traitors and mooslims. Good luck hot lady!!
Karl Rove is planning to
run away spend some time overseas, The Greatest Architect Ever wants to take a rest, after a difficult presidency a boring and a set of uninteresting events that we dont need to talk about it. When asked where was he going and why the rush to leave town, he replied “ I don’t want to end up like Michael Connell I won a vacation to “Death Island” “Paradise Island”!!!”
Nation, while the GOP takes its deserved vacation, we need to work together. We can
destroy save America once again!!
- UPDATE: Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, will also take a long break overseas, he will probably accompany Karl Rove to
"Death Island""Paradise Island".
SHOCKING NEWS!!!!: Mooslim president first interview with Terrorist Network
Obama’s new anti-american video is a hit!
Islamofacist States of America. January 26, 2009 - Nation, this mooslim president has crossed the line. Not only does he still insist that he is the 44th President (Hey, liberals! Why do you hate Yo-Yo Ma!), but he was seeing being interviewed by an
Arab TV Network known terrorist organization. Mr. so-called-president, you say you are not a mooslim, yet why is it that you were seeing speaking with Arabs? Yet for some reason the hippie bear-loving liberals are feigning ignorance about the whole thing…
Here is an excerpt from that interview:
Q: Mr. President, thank you for this opportunity, we really appreciate it.
The mooslim president: DEATH TO AMERICA!!!
Q: Sir, you just met with your personal envoy to the Middle East, Senator Mitchell. Obviously, his first task is to consolidate the cease-fire. But beyond that you've been saying that you want to pursue actively and aggressively peacemaking between the Palestinians and the Israelis. Tell us a little bit about how do you see your personal role, because, you know, if the President of the United States is not involved, nothing happens -- as the history of peacemaking shows. Will you be proposing ideas, pitching proposals, parameters, as one of your predecessors did? Or just urging the parties to come up with their own resolutions, as your immediate predecessor did?
The mooslim president: DEATH TO ISRAEL!!!
The rest of the interview is just the same. Also the mooslim president acknowledges that he has
mooslim terrorist family members and friends.
Rush Limbaugh’s Freedom of
Hate Speech Threatened
GOP: Democrats are not playing fair
Asswh*letown America. January 26, 2009 - Nation, the GOP is in trouble, and many Republicans American traitors are either running for the hills or converting to Islam to please the new mooslim master. Because of this reason, Rush Limbaugh is taking the fight against these un-american traitors. But instead, our beloved Limbaugh has been threatened and his freedom of speech taken away.
All he did was argue that if the Democrats succeed
the GOP will loose all credibility and loose all electoral chances for decades we will become a nation of sissified gay loving bear-lovers liberals and God hates that. Do you want to piss off God? Of course not!
News From The
West American Front: Polar Bears invade England, Librarians are still hiding something™
Why isn’t the mooslim president doing something?
Islamic States of America. January 26, 2009 - It hasn’t been more than a month and we have already seeing bear sightings over the world, one of the most disturbing one is none other from England. According with our British associates, an army of Polar Bears has invaded the tea-sucking land of the British. The Polar Bear Army has already established a beachhead in the Tames River and they will soon replace the Queen with their own QILF (Queen I like to F**k). We suspect that there will future bear sightings all over Europe. According with the Pentagon, Europe will fall under the bears in less than a week…
But not everything is bad news. Meanwhile in America, we are winning The War on Literature. Soon children under 12 will be banned from libraries so they can be protected from the toxic waste known as “knowledge”… for many years we have been wondering what are librarians hiding™… and guess what! They were hiding this toxic venom on their books!
Ohio Vs Kentucky: A Fearsome Custody Battle
Somebody please think of the pebbles!
Ohio Kentucky Somewhere in the US. January 26, 2009 - Mr. Kentucky and Mrs. Ohio had been married for many decades, but their marriage have always been rocky and questionable, and while both of them went to marriage counseling, it was doom to fail from the beginning. Mrs. Ohio has always been a liberal bear-loving hippie and now recently found to be a lezzie, and Mr. Kentucky was a Real American red blooded gun loving God fearing patriot, the only reason they staid together was because of the child… However, because of an embarrassment affair, the marriage was terminated and that has caused one of the most devastating custody battle…
According with rumors Mr. Kentucky found Mrs. Ohio in a foursome with Ms. Indiana (she claims she was “experimenting”), the Michigan twins (they count as one, since only one of them is a hottie and the other is a fugly), that Pennsylvania whore, and West Virginia who claims was drunk and doesn’t remember anything…
Mrs. Ohio will keep the beach house, the drug money, and part of the Ohio River, while Mr. Kentucky will keep his barrels of liquor, his fried chicken, and the rest of the Ohio river (the crappy parts). “It was not an easy divorce… pretty messy… the Only Reason that Mrs. Ohio is keeping the good stuff, is because Mr. Kentucky failed to get an annulment… poor fellow” claimed Mr. Kentucky’s lawyer.
But the divorce case is not over yet; the real problem has just started. According with officials, there is a nasty custody battle over the offspring of Mr. Kentucky and Mrs. Ohio. Their child, “Indian Head Rock” (also known as “Charlie”), is being drag into the courts. Mr. Kentucky claims that his child shouldn’t be raised under the roof of his lesbian mother, “That whore will fill his head with gay liberal agenda and grow up to be a sissified liberal kid… over my dead body!” claimed Mr. Kentucky.
But the problem doesn’t end there, according with Mrs. Ohio, “Charlie” is not actually his offspring… “To tell you the truth, I don’t know who the real father is…” claimed Mrs. Ohio, she explains that she slept with a lot of men and women during her youth. According with Mrs. Ohio's foggy memory, there is one possible candidate to be the father. She claims that she had a drunken one night stand orgy with a Mr. ACE (Army Corps of Engineers) and a few army ladies… and Mr. ACE now wants his child back…
One would think that would be the end of it, but a few days later another man has claimed to be the father of the rock, none other than a Mr. Charles Monroe Schulz (his pals know him as Penuts)… “Look, that rock clearly looks like me… that’s clearly my son!”
We don’t know how many lovers did Mrs. Ohio had, but she certainly is a whore…
Blajagoffwitch Signs New Movie Deal
Blagojakassvich: Aliens are trying to anally probe me!
Faeryland Chicago, IL. January 23, 2009 - The Maverick Governor of Illinois has decided to release a film that tells it all: the corruption of his fellow democrats, the conspiracy to overthrow the GOP and install a mooslim dictator, and the story of an intrepid and maverick governor confronting the Washington establishment to bring back the GOP back in power freedom and liberty.
Wikiality has not seeing the movie yet, but if the previous of what we have witnessed over the past few days are a hint of what is yet to come, then
we cannot wait to see how this sh!t will go about it we will witness how this drama will unfold… we hope it will win many Oscars…
Jim Carrey will play the part of the Blagosuksassvitch, the intrepid and maverick governor. Also, there is a rumor that Blago’s black friend, Roland Burris, will be played by Samuel Jackson.
Un-American News: Japanese wants to Gay Marry Obama
new Obama hentai videos will be released soon…
Animeland, Japan. January 23, 2009 - Nation, we bring you disturbing news. As you know the Japanese people have the nasty habit of “borrowing” things from the west and then turned it into ‘cooler’ stuff that we later regret for not thinking up first. Well, the Japanese government have decided to “borrow” Obamania and turned it upside down!
People are taking things like “Hope” and “Cool” into their laboratories to create what we suspect is Obama 3.0, an automaton sentient android that could take over the world and turn it into a “liberalz paradize”. If you thought one Obama was bad, imagine an army of Obamas bringing hope, peace, prosperity, and education to the entire world, turning us all into sissified bear-loving hippie liberals… the horror!!
Nation, we cannot let the Japanese take “Obama” into their hands, who knows what else could they turned into? They even took Obama's speeches and turned into learning books, making English cooler again,
after the botched incident of George Bush’s book “Lurning Engrigh with Dubya”.
Whats next? Obama Snacks with eel flavor? Obama burgers with hope sauce? An Obamabot with ass kicking katanas?… wait, they are already working on it?… Obamania is already driving the Japanese market like crazy! If we are not careful
America will be next! too late…
My point is, that the Japanese have already taken Henry Ford’s cars and turned into fuel efficient killing machines against our
poor fat American cars, they have taken our computers and video games and turned into profit turning machines, and even cartoons and comic books, which are an American invention, have been turned into “Anime” and “Manga”… where will it end?
SHOCKING NEWS: MOOSLIM PRESIDENT DOES PERVERTED THINGS WITH WIFE!!!!
Someone please think of thechildren!!
Foxnews!! January 21, 2009 - Nation, the intrepid reporters from Fox News have found shocking evidence that our new mooslim president is a secret deviant and a pervert!! What do you expect? He is a democrat... The following footage is considered to be graphic of the sexual nature, if you have children, please escort them out of the room,
if you have no children, get a box of tissues and some baby lotion…
Rush Limbaugh: I Hope
America Obama Fails Rich White A$$holes conservatives join the fight
Jagofftown, USA. January 21, 2009 - Nation, one of our most beloved figures, Mr. Limbaugh, is being attacked again by the drive-by shooting liberal media. All he ever did was to wish the mooslim president good luck and that he HOPES for him that he fails. I thought Obama was all up with Hope and all that. Was wrong with you people? Don’t you see that Mr. Limbaugh is innocently HOPING that the GOP will be able to regain back their rightful place, by HOPING that the mooslim president will fail… otherwise there is no more HOPE for Real Americans like us. You hippie bear-loving liberals are suppressing HOPE, the HOPE for Obama to fail, the HOPE that the GOP will be back in power forever.
Plus, wasn’t the liberal media HOPING for The Greatest President Ever to fail when he took office 8 years ago? Thanks guys, this is your entire fault then!! Who really is to blame now, liberal media? Mr. Limbaugh knows what he is doing, so stop accusing him of being un-american…
Now that Obama is in charge, we should start writing down his legacy as The Worst Mooslim President EVER!
America Gets New Mooslim President: PRAISE ALLAH!!!
Real Americans migrate to
Canada Neo America
White House Hussein’s Mooslim House. January 20, 2009 - Well, Nation. America has officially swore in a black mooslim president and he gave his corny speech “Death To America Speech” to finalize the day.
The good news is that Obama botched his oath a little, so maybe we can swear in Palin as soon as the courts agree that he is not the real president,
even though constitutionally he is automatically the president without the oath.
Nation, don’t worry I wont covert to Islam and gay marry my neighbor just because of this day. We the people will continue the good fight against this mooslim tyrant until Palin is our New The Greatest Maverickness and President Ever!!
…now, does anyone know how to read those weird squiggly lines in this weird Koran book?…
Post Your Job!!
because we need the money…
January 19, 2009 - Nation,
times are though the fundamentals of our economy are still strong, but we are out cash. Which is why we have decided to put a classified section, we are even posting peoples resumes, for a fee… oh, look! Looks like
we have someone desperate in need.
Name: Bushie “Yesman” Brownnose.
Previous Occupation: White House
church and home schooled University of Higher Faith
/Madam. I hope I will be able to join your marvelous presidential administration political office corporation investment firm law firm bank fast food restaurant. I bring years/decades of experience and I promise you that you will find no other loyal slave worker among the ignorant masses plethora of entrepreneurial minds.
I have been for many years under the employment of
Mr. Bush The Excellency Mr. Dick Cheney, and I can assure you he will vouch for my years of excellent services.
One of my many jobs in my previous employment has been to keep
facts and truths lies and fabrications away from the ears of my employer Mr. Bush so it wont confuse and distract him. I am aware that leaders/management requires silence and time to contemplate the many stressful decisions of everyday life, and it was my duty to maintain the status quo.
I was also there to assist in the service and the improvement of morale in the office and also to
strike his ego reaffirm Mr. Bush’s confidence in times of difficulties and need. You could say that I gave him overconfidence like the time I told him Katrina was not his fault, it was the liberals fault that unforeseeable events took place beyond his control.
I was also an integral member that partook in the
sabotaged, ridicule, and endangered debated and cordially disagreement of Mrs. Wilson's husband a formidable opponent as well as other individuals but I would rather not go into details.
I have many years of experience in
dealing and digging up dirty secrets and blackmailing the opposition as well as bullying the liberal media resorting with opposing views and arguments in which I was able to negotiate compromises and agreements. Also I am good at hiding bodies of dead hookers when needed I have experience in other areas of expertise, such as in dealing with the sensitive nature of an employer.
SO PLEASE GIVE ME A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!! I thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you in the future.
List of References:
George W. Bush, The Greatest President Ever: You could say that I was the third most influential man in the office! I gave the man most of my ideas and advices, mostly financial advices, cant wait for my Bears and Sterns share of profits!!
Senator Ted Stevens: I was one of his many assistants before my tenure in the White House, and the one who helped him remodel his house.
Alberto Gonzales: I assisted Mr. Gonzales in getting rid of some undesirable elements in the Department of Justice, no matter what.
Bernie Madoff: Prior to politics, I worked in the financial sector with Mr. Madoff. I cannot wait to see my share of profits after working with Mr. Bush.
Mark Foley: You could say he was my mentor when I worked as his personal congressional page during my teenage summers before and after high school.
Lewis ‘Scooter’ Libby: I was the one that “helped” Mr. Libby during his trouble times.
Duke Cunningham: I was the personal assistant of Mr. Cunningham for many years. He is one of the most honest man that I ever work with.
Larry Craig: I did a lot of things for this man… lot of things… This man will vouch for me that I am willing to do anything to assist The Man. I served at the “pleasure” of his office.
The People Behind The Greatest Presidency Ever
Thank you for
destroying bettering this Nation
White House. January 17, 2009 - As the last days of The Greatest President Ever comes to an end, we should remind all Real Americans that they should be thanking the people behind The Greatest Presidency Ever, for making this The Greatest Presidency Ever in Human History!!
Here is a sample of these loyal bushies. Imagine what would the Presidency would look like without them... perish the thought...
- Dick Cheney: The Greatest Vice-President Ever. There is nothing more to be said, history will remember him to be the greatest
Sith Lordman on history, after Bush, of course…
- Karl Rove:
This spawn of SatanThis sweet Angel has been called the brains behind the Presidency, if he is the Brain then Bush is the heart!
- Alberto Gonzales:
I don’t recall much about this guy, something about chasing out bear-loving hippies from the Department of Justice, and something about making a comatose old man sign some papers…a good loyal bushie, enough said…
- Donald Rumsfeld: according with Cheney he is "the finest Secretary of Defense this nation has ever had.", and if Cheney says so, it must be true…
- Michael Brown: Two words, “Heck of a Job Brownie”… or was it three words?… anyway he is the guy that kicked that Lady Katrina’s butt…
- Paul Wolfowitz: He helped us liberate Iraq with the right number of troops, way to go!
- David Addington: Cheney’s minime…
But, because the list of the names is so long (Almost 50!), I decided to provide a link for the rest of the names. Just ignore the liberal reality-base bias…
The Greatest Gift Ever is Here!!
Get them while they are HOT!!!
White House. January 16, 2009 - People of Wikiality, I got some fantastic news!! The Greatest President Ever is
selling granting Official Presidential Pardons!! Just like the Popes when they sell give their indulgences to sinners to fill up the coffers save their eternal soul, The Greatest President Ever is emulating their practice as a good Christian should… Not that we are saying that The Greatest President Ever is the Pope, but wouldn’t it be cool if he was? The Greatest President AND Pope Ever has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
EMERGENCY NEWS: DOUGHNUTS ARE THE DEVIL’S CAKE!!
Police eagerly confiscate all doughnuts in America
Liberalwhoretown! un-america. January 16, 2009 - Nation! We just received terrible news from a very reliable source. According to this source, doughnuts are actually the devil’s food; it is a secret gay-liberal Confection of Mass Destruction!! The Doughnut is their secret weapon to turn all Real Americans gay and then get daily abortions against their will!!
“What people don’t realize is that gays and happy-go-lucky abortionists are actually witches, they put their gay-abortionist magic into the doughnuts and this way they will convert all of us into liberals and make us want to gay marry each other or abort our babies, sometimes both at the same time!” claimed
a crazy bitch Katie Walker, the senior correspondent and gay-baby-abortionist-witch expert.
However, gays and liberals could have not confected this devious plan alone. America, they got help! You probably wonder from whom did the gay bear-loving liberals got the funds and the resources to set up this devious plan, none other than “Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc.”, one of the most evil, gayest, and liberal organization on America!! We believe this is the Gaysrael for fat gay people, and they must be stopped! Someone needs to put them out of business!
Nation, this is a problem. According with our statistics there are thousands of doughnut shops in America! Not only that, but Real Americans consume millions of doughnuts each year! We must eradicate this danger before is too late!
BOYCOTT THE GAY DOUGHNUTS!!!
Nation, write to Katie Walker, and tell her she is doing a wonderful job in protecting America against the ebil gay Doughnuts!
...now I better get ready... WOW free doughnuts!!... more for me...
The Greatest Presidency Ever Comes to an End
|A fan made music video to The Greatest President Ever|
Real Americans cry as they say goodbye…
White House. January 15, 2009 - Nation, I don’t have to tell you that today is a sad day for all Real Americans as The Greatest President Ever says his farewell to The Greatest Nation Ever in the World, there were many teary eyes...
I am sure there are some un-american bear-loving liberal who thinks “good riddance to rubbish”; well, may I remind you that the man you call “The Worst President Ever”… No, don’t lie to me, I know you talk trash about him when no Real Americans are around. This Great Man has kept us safe for seven years. He kicked Saddam Hussein’s butt and made the Taliban and bearrorists run for the hills! He even
captured Osama Bin Laden and liberated Iraq! And right now Iraq is one of the most flourishing democracies in the middle-east! He is The Greatest Liberator Ever and he liberated America's school thanks to his terrible educational policies, and brought more water to thirsty Americans with his "Pollutant" policies "Water Liberating" policies that are melting liberating the Polar Glaciers in the struggle with The War on Terra.
But I am sure some of you will tell me, “But what about the economy? And our civil liberties? And that other stuff that only un-american bear-loving hippie liberals care about?” Listen to me, the economy is not The Greatest President Ever’s fault, the fundamentals of our economy are still strong… it just happens to be on vacation and it will come back soon… also who needs civil liberties? If you have nothing to hide you don’t have to worry about it… unless you are an un-american bear-loving hippie liberal… are you? Plus, The Greatest President Ever has also kept us from gay marrying each other, be thankful for that... and if you are gay, be thankful too. You are not really gay, you are just confused and He is trying to fix you...
There are so many Great Achievements to list here, but they are too many to write, so just trust me when I say He did a heck of a job...
Besides, America is still The Greatest Nation in the Earth of All Time. The fact that America and us are still #1 is proof enough that Bush’s legacy will be secure for many years to come…
So, we say farewell to The Greatest Human Being Ever Born… farewell, you gift to humanity. Some people will never understand you…
…besides, there is always the possibility that The Greatest President Ever will run for 2012…
EMERGENCY NEWS: Obama’s House Energy and Climate Adviser Carol Browner is a Secret
Obama: Heck of a Job Browner...
Foxnews-city January 14, 2009 - NATION, WE IN SERIOUS SH#T! Carol Browner, the soon to be House Energy and Climate Advisor to the coming mooslim administration, was discovered to be a secret socialist!!!
Who discovered this shocking news? None other than Sen. James Inhofe! By day he is just another Republican Senator… but by night he is a secret Intrepid Reporter! This brave and heroic soul found out that Carol Browner is a threat to America! First she is a member of CAP
(Center for American Progress) (Communist for America Party) a very liberal bear-loving hippie communist organization whose agenda is to make all of us gay marry each other and destroy America’s true religion, Capitalism.
Carol Browner’s first agenda once she is in power, will be to introduce “The Fairness Doctrine”, a fancy way of saying “Communism is Nice and We should Gay Marry Each Other” Doctrine.
Nation, is time to Impeach Obama!
History Already Writing The Greatest President Ever’s Legacy: Rave Reviews!!
I Laugh, I cried, I deported an illegal
January 14, 2009 - Some say that some time in the future, history will be much kinder to The Greatest Presidency Ever but I say that time is now!
One reporter several historians are already writing The Greatest President Ever’s legacy on stone, and it looks pretty good! News of the death failure of The Greatest Presidency Ever has been greatly exaggerated, and as soon as history finishes “The Greatest Historical Achievements Ever in History”, the public will learn the Greatness of Our Beloved President. The revisions rewriting corrections for the Katrina Chapter is almost over…
EMERGENCY NEWS: Un-American Traitor Destroys Tennessee’s House!!!
|Democrats, you are so full of FAIL!|
GOP calls for the Army!
Tennessee. January 14, 2009 - Nation, finally after 40 years the Tennessee GOP was able to finally take over control of the Tennessee’s State House!! With 50 Republicans and 49 Democrats! WE DID IT, WOHOOOO!!!!!
Nation, you know what this means, the Tennessee GOP has promised a lot of goodies for this year to the Real Americans, like:
More abortion votes like the new constitutional limits on abortion, 2nd amendment votes like new concealed weapons law, anti-immigrant legislation votes, anti-gay votes like bans on gay adoption and fostering, mandatory teaching of “intelligent design” in public schools, etc. – your basic
nightmare right-wing nutjobs run amuck scenario GOP’s wet dream and the only hope to fix Tennessee once and for all.
Who is the great man that will lead Tennessee into this bright future? None other than The Greatest Soon To Be Tennessee’s House Speaker
Jason Mumpower, a super-far-right-wing Conservatie Republican that we all love and adore! REP. KENT WILLIAMS????!!!! THEY CHOSE A MODERATE AND REASONABLE REPUBLICAN????!!!
WHAT THE F*K IS THIS???!
Nation, those damn commie un-american bear-loving liberal hippies democrats have undermined democracy once again! They are not only un-americans but also backstabber traitors and mean losers! The Republican majority voted for Jason Mumpower The Greatest
Soon To Be EX Nominated House Speaker of Tennessee, but the Democrats and Kent Williams That Republican Traitor voted for KENT WILLIAMS! The deciding vote went to that traitor and he voted himself!!!!!!!!!
But Nation don’t worry, we will sent the Army to get these guys out of town soon…
Child Pornographers Arrested
Parents Upset: “Let them Go!”
January 13, 2009 - The War against wikipedophiles is working, just today we arrested
three teenage girls who sent their nude and semi-nude pictures of themselves with their cell phone to three male classmates three sluts and their sugar daddies for selling child pornography.
Liberal Media Barfs More Lies
Lil’ America has a Crush with Lil’ Obama
White House. USA. January 13, 2009 - Nation, the liberal media is at it again, this time they are spewing that Lil’ Condi’s pigtails were pulled by Lil’ Bush, because his superfriend Lil’ Olmert though she was a meanie. That’s not true! It is a liberal lie! What happened was that Lil’ Condi had something stuck in her hair and Lil’ Bush was just trying to help. Do not listen to Lil' Liberal's lies!
Meanwhile Lil' Cheney shoot the face of another old man, but it was consensual.
Emergency News: Number of Poors skyrockets!
National Crisis, Ultra Rich Fears for their portfolio
Ultrarichtown, USA. January 13, 2009 - Like a pestilence, it is swelling and growing in numbers, and it is feared that soon all of us will be poor. The new disease, called poverty, is multiplying at an alarming rate. Our panel of experts tell us that they have tried all solutions to exterminate it, but to no bail, “We gave all of the taxpayer money to the Ultra Rich folks and the banks, but for some reason poverty is multiplying. We need more bailout money!” claimed a CEO of AIG who
says is an expert on combating poverty. “Idiot. Poor people are lazy and dumb, what we need to do is keep shouting to them to get a job! Maybe even make poverty illegal, that will work. Get a job you lazy scum!” claimed a long time Republican. “Nonsense, the poor don’t know better. What they need is more welfare…” claimed a commie liberal. “I have a solution, just give me all of your money, and I can make multiply it like magic, just don’t ask how I did it. It’s a secret” replied Bernie Madoff an Ultra Rich guy.
The situation has gotten worst, the disease has already mutated into a form of super strain. The mutation is causing an enormous exodus of hippie liberals and undesirables from Gaylifornia into pouring to the rest of the country. It is feared that if this continues all of America will become CALIFORNIA!!!
The Government has called an emergency plan, if the plan doesn’t work, the next step would be to nuke the “poor” before we are all infected. The CDC speculates that we have a week before the disease affects all of America…
The Greatest President Ever Delivers Greatest Speech Ever
stood naked wore magnificent robes made from the finest silk while delivering his speech
White House. January 12, 2009 - The Greatest President Ever delivery one of The Greatest Speeches of The Century. The President agreed that
mistakes were made people didn’t follow his orders correctly, so he forgave them for being confused. All Real Americans agreed that one of The Greatest Achievements of his Presidency Ever was the rescue of New Orleans. We can all agreed that such hell-hole should have been wiped out of the face of America forever, but The Greatest President Ever with such benevolence and merciful wisdom, decided to rescue the Sodomites black people.
“The President was like a superhero, he personally drove the helicopter and rescued all the
undesirables black folks and took them to the detention center Superdome to be rescued later. He is my hero!” replied a rich white person Real American. “Now, it should be easy to rebuilt the city. And we will start with my a Shopping Mall!”
Rumor has it that a statue of The Greatest President Ever will be built in New Orleans to commemorate his superhero status. However, like always the liberal bear-loving un-american hippies disagree with it. Here is what they are saying,
“The Federal Government’s response was slow
Which we will not print here. After all, it is all rubbish and nonsense.
You are doing a heck of a job Dubya…
Gut News: Gut is the brain!
January 12, 2009
People of Wikiality, for once science has it right! They have discovered that the real brain is in the gut after all! We are hoping that Stephen Colbert will receive the Nobel Prize as soon as they publish the findings of this amazing discovery.
Ultra Rich Real American faces lynching
heartless un-americans wants him to go to a cold, dark, and sodomising cell
Ultrarichtown Patriotictown. January 12, 2009 - We the people of wikiality send our sympathies to Madoff this brave Real American. It seems that the poor man was swindled; he was deceived, and got con… by his greedy joowish un-american commie investors. And now, not happy with long decades of services they want to send him to prison FOR NO REASON. “This is America, the land of the free, and he has the right to be free. He is no threat to the community,” declared his lawyer. “We will prove that he is a good man, a good boss, and a good family man…”
“You don’t understand… they kept asking for more money! More stuff! They were constantly hungry, asking for more! They almost ruin me!” replied
Madoff the victim in tears.
Shame on you! After loyal decades of services this is how you repay him? Didn’t he work hard and long for you? Dont you understand the concept of loyalty? The poor man had to sacrifice everything!! And now these same greedy
joos un-americans are demanding to send him to jail for failing to abide by his contract to make lots of money for the joos commie traitors.
Mooslim elected leader is hiding something
Is that a Massive Economic Recovery Package, or a you just happy to see us?
Innuendotown. January 12, 2009 - As always
those mooslims black people liberals and the new leader is hiding something. We were told that the mooslim president elect would show us his Economic Recovery Plan “Package”; he promised that it would be something to remember, that we would be speechless, and maybe even a little envious. Many reporters in the room seemed excited and drooling to see it, some were just curious, but at the end he was just teasing.
There was another reporter in the room, he looked joowish, he also seemed disappointed, “I feel like I just got dumped,” claimed Mr. Borowitz.
mooslim president elect stop playing mind games! We already dine you, wine you, and even take you to dance this past election. I think the Real American public deserves to see that “package” now! But like always, he promised next time, that he had a headache, and wasn’t feeling well…
The Greatest President Ever gets praise from The Greatest President Ever Sr.
|Those are tears of joy!|
Father has no words and chocks up on his
White House. January 11, 2009
In “an unprecedented joint interview” of both Bush presidents, Fox News Sunday guest anchor Brit Hume asked George H.W. Bush (”Bush 41″) how he regards his son’s presidency. “Very positively,” the elder Bush said. “Why?” asked Hume. Bush then began choking up as he responded, “Well, because he can make a tough decision and stay with it. I mean, he’s been tested unlike any other president — with this 9/11. So he passed the test.”
We can all agree that there are no words to describe The Greatest Presidency Ever’s legacy, because it was sooo AWSOME! No words could ever describe the awesomeness of it. Many Real Americans that we interviewed
screamed yelled cursed cried tears of joy at the memory of these eight F*king wonderful years. There is no doubt that The Greatest Presidency’s Legacy is secure, look at The Greatest President Ever Sr., those are tears of shame and sorrow joy and pride!
All of us will always tear up every time we think of The Greatest Presidency Ever. Thank you, sir. We will never forget you!
Mooslim leader Black Person is new president: Racism is Over!
Jim Crow seeks Presidency for 2012
Liberalcity. January 11, 2009 - While Racism is officially over, there are some liberonazis who insist that white people still see color, shame on you! The Supreme Court agreed to examine an old law that is no needed anymore and will decide what to do with the
"Voting Right Act" "Black People Must Vote Because of Racism ACT" now that Racism is over. We all agree that since we have elected a mooslim black president, it is enough evidence to demonstrate a landmark case that Racism is over. Otherwise that mooslim That One would never have been elected. But as always the liberal bear-loving un-american RACIST hippies disagree.
Liberal bear-loving un-american hippies, get this in your head! Racism is over; don’t you see that Black people don’t need you anymore? I have
one lots of black friends and they all agree, Racism is over. Get over it!
2008 Armageddon was reschedule for 2009
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will ride hybrids
White House. January 10, 2009 - Last year The Greatest President Ever rescheduled the Apocalypse with Jesus for another time. He told the Son of God that it wasn’t a good time for him, plus The Greatest President Ever though he could stop gay marriage before it was too late… Well, looks like Jesus is coming to town…
Greatest Party Ever thrown before the collapse of
Jesus brought sushi and beer…
Armageddon, USA. January 9, 2009 - While the GOP continues to fight the good fight against the liberal bear-loving hippies with their new terrorist mooslim leader, the last days of The Greatest Presidency Ever are coming to a close. Many of us hope that the Supreme Court can still fix this mess, but we are suspecting that many of the Judges (The Real American ones) have been secretly blackmailed by the liberal media… so many young GOPers decided to throw The Last Greatest Party Ever before the end of
Western American Civilization. ‘The Young Republican Club’ decided to host their last annual meeting before the end of times; so they decided to throw The Wildest Party Ever before Jesus raptures them.
-“It may be the end, but at least we will go with a bang… which reminds me if I put the safety on this gun…” replied a young GOPer.
-“I think I am getting drunk,” replied a young lady, “but who cares, at least I will get laid before I died…”
-“What about my portfolio? Please, someone think of the dividends!” shouted a dishearten young capitalist…
-“Well, is the end of capitalism… looks like we will have to learn Russian and accept socialism from now on… screw this, I am moving to
By the looks of it many bright futures of these young GOPers have been extinguished before they had a chance… thanks a lot Obama… I hope you are happy…
The Greatest and Wildest Party Ever is schedule to last until
Obama's swearing in the mooslim leader takes over the country, or when we are raptured, or when the Islamists invades America... or when Russia starts WWIII, or when Iran starts a Nucular Holocaust... whichever comes first...
Bearrorist Leader Releases New Al-Bearda Book (coming soon: a movie about the book!)
Great Terror Returns after years of absence
White House, USA. January 9, 2009 - Before there was an Osama Bin Laden or a Saddam Hussein there was a greater threat against America, but this Great Terror has been absent for decades. You probably are wondering who is this Great Threat against America? He was and still is a legendary terrorist; he is the first Bearrorist in recorded history. And he released many bearrorists books that influenced many generations of bears over the decades, including the infamous Colbear. He led to the foundation of Al-Bearda and is one of the most influential and most dangerous Bearrorist of all time! Winnie The Pooh, or The Grandest Poohbah Bear Ever by his bearrorist associates, is back!!
The last time he was observed in the spotlight was back in 1928, when he released his last book “The Bearrorist House at The Grandest Poohbah Corner”. After publishing his last book there was a period of deafening silence; there were no more anti-american messages for many years from him. Many suspected that he died of massive organ failure, but rumors persisted that he was still alive and in hiding after a failed assassination attempt in 1929. There has been even rumors that he was Hitler’s right hand during World War II and that he defected to Joseph Stalin's side after the war, but there has never been concrete evidence and the CIA dismissed it as just an urban legend.
But now, after almost 81 years of his absence the Greatest Threat against America is back! And he is releasing his new anti-american book “The Return to the Socialist Paradise of the Glorious Hundred Acre Wood and The Death of America” promised to be on sale by Oct. 5 on Amazon.com, and if you shout “Death to America” and pledge allegiance to Al-Bearda, you get a 15% discount!
We also suspect that the “British Taliban” Christopher Walker Robin (he prefers to go by his bearrorist name, Sulayman al-Bearrist) will return as well as Poohbah's second in command.
Karl Rove: The Greatest President Ever Leaves The Greatest Legacy Ever!
Liberal media continues slander
White House. January 9, 2009 - Karl Rove, the master and architect of The Greatest Presidency Ever, gave an interview trying to set the record straight. The liberal media has been slandering our Beloved President and that doesn’t sit well with “Turd Blossom”. When asked what he thought when the liberal bear-loving hippies accused The Greatest President Ever of botching the housing issue, he was
wrathful reasonably discontent, “All lies! You should know better than question The Greatest Presidency Ever. No mistakes were made; this was all an unforeseeable event that just came out of nowhere. There was nothing we could have done to prevent this. If you ask me, it was the democrats’ faults…” replied Karl Rove. “I am writing a book that will explains everything…”
Governor of Illinois Will Spend More Time with Family
He will be vacationing for 4 to 10 years.
Prisontown Chicago, Il. January 9, 2009 - Governor Blowjobbiatch has decided to spend more time with his family, after a stressful misunderstanding. “No one gets me. I though using the Free Market would solve this issue easily, rather than use the inefficient and ineffective way to chose a senator; I have this golden thing and they wanted me to give it away for nothing! It saves time and money!” declared the governor. No only is Mr. Blagosonofabiatch a free market guy, but also a maverick when he chose his black friend to be the Jr. Senator. The state of Illinois is loosing a great guy.
But at least he is not alone; Rep. Milton Patterson is a gut person, and his gut is telling him that Blowmebiatch is innocent, "I went by my own gut feeling, it's as simple as that" (actual quote).
Victory in The War on Learning
|Thank you sir for liberating the children!!|
Teachers and students welcome The Greatest President Ever as liberator
January 8, 2009 - Victory is near! Factonistas, nerds, science geeks, and labcoat Larrys are running for the hill! We thank you sir for saving the future of our children against the brainwashing doctrine of the liberal bear-loving hippies and math geeks! We just hope that we will soon replace their science books with bibles and start teaching "creationism", The Real way that the planet was created. The Greatest President Ever will receive the highest acolytes of achievement, The Medal of Educashun.
Shocking News: Spiderman two-timing!!
Spiderman swings both ways, left and right!
January 8, 2009 - It wasn’t good enough for mr. superhero to have our beloved Stephen in his comic book. Now spiderman has invited the elected mooslim president to play sidekick! Well, this isn’t the last time that the comic book world has hurt Stephen’s heart…
US continues war against Cyber-terror
Patriotictown, USA. January 8, 2009 - America, we are at war, and the terrorists are winning. Just yesterday I received an eerie avalanche of spam and promises of
more pr0n penis enlarger junk mail. But I am not the only one fearful of this wild cyber-space, our poor men and women in uniform are also at risk of being victims of cyber-terrorism, which is why we must secure our borders firewalls. We must censor regulate cyber space before is too late.
The Air Force had been fighting these cyber-space wiki-nazis for years, protecting our freedom and the bothersome need to think. After all, we just need our guts and we are free to not think for ourselves but to trust our government to do it for us. But these un-american traitors are making it difficult to defend America.
But good news, we are winning the war, and soon we shall be free from these bothersome and pesky un-american
Mr. Rich Man’s Philanthropic Donation Denied
commie liberal prosecutors upset and crazy
Richtown, USA. January 8, 2009 -
Bernie Madoff Mr. Rich Man accumulated a large sum of stolen wealth over the years, and he realized that he would soon loose all of it he was at the end due to unforeseeable circumstance. So, before he departed from the beautiful and glamorous world of the Ultra Rich and Famous; he wanted to do something awesome for himself his family his community. Madoff Mr. Rich Man decided to transfer his stolen wealth distribute his assets among his family member trusted individuals and trustees, so they can distribute it to the community. This is trickle down economics folks! And it has been proven to work and to be very effective.
But commie big government liberals are not happy with it, they don’t want
Bernie Madoff Mr. Rich Man to give away his assets to his family trustees, instead the government wants to seize his wealth so they can give it back to the rightful owners to keep it to themselves or maybe feed the poor. Because of this philanthropic act, they decided to put Mr. Rich Man in jail just because he is rich.
Shame on you government! Stop blocking the
fraudulent scheme invisible hand of the free market and let Madoff Mr. Rich Man to continue his philanthropic work!
The Greatest Former Prime Minister of Australia visits America
|some mooslim-lovers hate the Medal of Freedom|
The Greatest President Ever holds a sleep over
White House. January 7, 2009 - A while ago a dear friend of America came to visit upon us, to shine his beautiful light in all of us… and that friend is John Howard! Former Prime Minister of Australia! But for Real Americans like us he will always be The Greatest Prime Minister of Australia. The Greatest President Ever was very excited so he reserved the Blair House
a few days ago months in advance, before anyone could make reservations. Sorry losers! John Howard was not the only visitor to come to America, but for Real Americans he is The Most Important Visitor to keep the undesirables to receive the Medal of Freedom! For those who tried to get accommodations this past month, too bad for you! You should have known better!
It was a very happy reunion among friends, and everyone agree that it was the bestest month ever. Except for this one mooslim dude who tried to get a room and board, your lost. Instead he opted to spend the night in the manger…
Nothing Important Happened This Week
Washington, USA. January 7, 2008 -
Can the Republican Party catch a break these days?
Six of the candidates running to be the party’s next leader were supposed to sit down this morning for a debate — the second this week. The forum had been pressed by some state Republican leaders who, given the tough straits the party is in these days, wanted to hear the six candidates talk about their prescriptions for the party in a public debate. One small problem, which became clear as the secretary called the roll:
No quorum. Not enough Republicans had turned out to allow for the official convening of a meeting.
The party chairman, Mike Duncan, who is
I SAID NOTHING HAPPENED!!! Moving on…
America’s Oldest Profession in danger!
women forced to get educashun…
Sleazytown, USA. January 7, 2009 - Nation,
our economy is suffering the fundamentals of our economy are still strong, but it could really use a new tune up. Many industries are shutting down taking a break, and without a doubt the most disturbing sign of things to come is when the pr0n industry is on the verge of bankruptcy; experts agree that crime, firearms, cigarettes, and alcohol sales/consumption is in it’s all time low. These vital industries are in jeopardy unless something is done to “stimulate” the economy back in “full swing”.
“Is bad, bro. None of my hoes were able to get my money,” replied a hard working pimp. “Things are really bad, people are too stress out and worried about the future to think about sex… even the sex offenders are too depressed to get out of bed…”
Hoes and pimps are not the only ones suffering, strippers and exotic dancers were forced to go back to school and get a degree to get better jobs; many naïve teenage girls have decided to stay in school rather than pursue an exotic, glamorous, and adventurous life in the escort service or the sex industry of adult and film entertainment; and teenage pregnancy has fallen flat this month alone! “I am loosing a valuable source of cheap labor!” replied a local fast-food owner, “Do you know how hard it is to find unwed teenage mothers or brainless dimwitted kids that will work for slave wages? I need my source of cheap labor…
there aren’t enough illegals to hire. Young stupid brainless kids or unwed teenage girls are keeping the nation’s economy flowing!”
Nation, please buy some pr0n, and start repopulating America before it is too late! All proceeds of the sale of pr0n magazines, videos, and other sleazy nature goes to supporting these naked women who need clothing... why do you think they are naked? Also the hoes, pimps, and strippers need to eat too... so be a patriot and get laid... but cash in hand first.
Roland Burris, a great student of Truthiness
a man of the gut
Washington Racist Town in America. January 7, 2009 – Roland Burris wasn’t ask to lead the nation congress his constituents. He was told by God and his corrupt friend Maverick Friend, that he was the only one to do it. But Mr. Burris is fighting against discrimination and racism that still plagues the Democratic Party. So, you probably wonder why should we care? Mr. Burris is a democrat and black! liberal, what do we care? Because Mr. Roland Burris is following the teachings of our Great Stephen! Mr. Burris is following his gut, not his brain when it comes to his choice, and he knows in his gut that he is the only man to do the job.
Mr. Roland Burris has brought great accomplishments to America, we also believe he will bring new changes to the Democratic Party, a change that
will destroy them reform them. Keep the goof fight Mr. Burris…
Blagojiabiatch’s Black Friend Denied Front Seat
Democrats are secret racists! Democrats: "Segregation now, segregation forever!"
Democratic Congress, most racist place in America. January 6, 2009 - While we the people of wikiality would not give two cents or a hoot about the happenings of the liberal bear-loving democrats. That doesn’t mean we will stop being spectators of
this drama that is unfolding and tearing apart their party what we believe is a very racist and un-american action of discriminating against a poor black man. As soon as the democratic bloodbath is over the GOP should take back their rightful place come and clean up this racist mess.
But let us go on with the drama. The democratic party just showed their true ‘color’, which is white. They have refused a colored man to take a seat; I assume it was the front of the bus or something. Shame on you democrats! You should learn to be colorblind like our beloved Stephen! There is no doubt that democrats are racists and deserve the worse, there is no proof or evidence that says otherwise. Just Because Mr. Balogviablowmeoffbiatch’s friend happens to be black, doesn’t mean he should be refused to have a seat. Mr. Burris, keep up the good fight and make those democrats pay,
is not like this event will tear your party apart while the GOP waits patiently to retake their rightful place.
Let us hope the NAACP does their job and fight off these racist democrats out of town… Did I mention that the GOP is non-racist and we are colorblind? After all we helped to elect a
mooslim black president!
Opening This Week: "Mr. Burries Goes to Washington"
Blagojevich: I laugh, I cried, I lost my job
Corruptiontown Chicago, Il. January 5, 2009. - Coming soon, to the theater nearest you… another liberal movie made by liberal Hollywood, but strangely enough liberals are already hating the movie. You will think they will like this sort of stuff… well at least Republicans have a much more refined taste when it comes to movies.
European Union’s series of tubes SAFER than US against Terror threat!!!
and who is protecting me from the pr0n?
Why isn’t the mooslim terrorist president doing something?!
London, England. January 5, 2009 - And you thought it couldn’t get any worse this year. This is why we should NOT be holding new elections; if the old president is still good, why change it? Not only are America’s series of tubes plagued with pr0n and spam, but we are far less safer against cyber terrorist attacks or terrorist who use wikipedophile. Meanwhile those tea-sucking-terrible-denture Brits are safeguarded by their new cyber-police
. The cyber-police, or
robot-cop E-cop, is one of the most important tools against the war on terror… yet how come we don’t have it? The Europeans has it!! The fricking Euros, those damn liberals hippie-bear-loving euro-trash are allowed to do a “search and seizure” of anyone’s computer files without warrants!!! HOW COME!!!???
Meanwhile un-american terrorist hippie bear-loving liberals continue to fill their computers with filthy filthy things like downloaded pr0n, liberal hippie music, and movies that are destroying America. IF we don’t do something soon to police America's cyber-space and spy our own citizens from cyber-land, things like this will be popping out everywhere! DO YOU WANT THAT!?
Europeans! Our Greatest President Ever have been slashing and cutting our civil liberties since the start of the war! We know all about spying our own citizens. Hell! We even recorded their phone sex in case there is a horny terrorist out there… We have the Patriot Act!! We check people’s library cards for God’s sake!! And we are loosing to the Europeans!? That’s not fair!!
What do we have to show for ourselves? Censored text messages!? That's not good enough! Sure it may protect us from the *beep* invading our cell phones that are trying to plant their *beep* thoughts. But that wont stop them from still sending their *beep*-mail. Even the Australians are doing a better job than us! Damn those kangaroo-lovers…
Nation, we are not loosing our civil liberties fast enough! If we don’t allow our government to take all of our liberties to protect us from the terrorist, we will loose to the scum Euro-trash! And I hate to loose! So write up your congressman and tell them to hack your email and pc, put video cameras in our bedrooms and keep listening to our phone sex conversation!! That way we will be safer than those euro trash…
Pentagon Calling Grandpa back to service
Next on the list are the disable and the retarded. Gays not need to enlist
Patriotictown, USA. January 5, 2009 - For years old people have been riding the coattails of America, these old folks do nothing but cash in their social security check and get their Medicare benefits. But thankfully The Greatest Military Force in the Planet has decided to use these discarded resources by recycling their old and retired soldiers. Who said the pentagon isn’t environmentally friendly? The Pentagon will soon deploy their “Old Geezer Squad” platoon by the end of the month…
Freedom of Speech Targeted
hippies still have lousy musical taste
Freedomland, USA! January 3, 2009 - Bear-loving liberal hippies are threatening freedom of speech, and the target as always is our beloved Fox News! Not content of defaming and slandering the Greatest American News Media, these islamofacists have also claimed that Fox News have lousy musical taste!!
The Greatest Song Ever just got the coveted #1 place in the charts, and Fox News was the only news media that gave it seal of support and approval. Driven by jealousy and envy, the liberal media is trying to infringe Fox New’s freedom of speech; and accusing all Real Americans of having lousy musical taste!
Well, I am sorry, but we the people of wikiality disagree with your hippie-liberal opinion. Everyone one knows that Rock and Roll corrupts the youth, it weakens the mind and threatens the purity of their Christian soul. And hippie liberal music is nothing but liberal brainwashing propaganda to turn our children into pinko-commies and gay marriage each other! And bear-loving commie liberals call that good music!
Foreigners, Speak American!
Sign language teachers booted out of town
xenophobiatown Nashville, USA! January 3, 2009 - We the people of wikiality salute the citizens of Nashville on their bravery in the war against foreigners! As you know these un-american parasites visitors are refusing to learn our language. Speak American!!! Instead we are just cuddling and encouraging these un-americans to retain their foreign tongues by allowing the printing material and the speaking of their "language" to be permitted in the sweet sweet land of the free and home of the brave. This is America and we are fee to speak American; so start learning!!
But luckily this
liberal agenda will be stopped. The citizens of Nashville are holding an election to determine if
English American should be their official offical language and will become an amendment if it passes. Making the speaking, writing, and reading of their foreign letters and speech illegal!! Thank God!!
“If the law passes we will start banning those foreign dictionaries, you know those with [insert foreign language]-American dictionaries, they are nothing but tools to encourage our kids to learn foreign things… we will also kick out those damn interpreters out of town... about time! I never thought they were American by learning someone else’s language...” – replied a man in white robes with a hood.
But not everyone agrees, according with some liberal hippie egg-head, “This is insane! Teachers wont be able to teach these new comers how to speak English if we are banned to use any other language, even ESL classes will be forbidden in school!” Sorry but if these un-american foreigners wanted to learn how to speak American, they should have learned before they came here! Or better yet, they should have been born American… teaching foreigners how to speak English is just a waste of tax payer money.
Meanwhile the brave men and women in uniform agree in the new policy changes,
“This is ridiculous, our police officers and doctors need interpreters in our force. Otherwise we wont be able to diagnose patients or deter crime or even interrogate witnesses this way”… but there is no need to ask their opinion.
Even business owners agree with the new changes,
"This is going to be disastrous for our economy!" declares local business owner. Nashville, we hear your message; keep America's jobs American!
Bravo, citizens of Nashville! You are setting a great example!! But I say the policy doesn’t go too far, we should also start banning the teaching and writing of Braille. Blind people, dots are not letters and that is not American! If you want to read a book, learn how to read American! Its not that blind people cant see, is just that their eyes are lazy! And don’t think that you deaf and mutes are out of the hook either! Sign language is not a real language if you cant speak it, that is just an excuse to be lazy! Sign language is a gateway to devil worship! Deaf and mutes, learn how to speak AND hear American, or you are just being unpatriotic! Just because your ears and tongues don’t work doesn’t mean you cant, it just mean you are being lazy welfare queens asking taxpayers to accommodate your lifestyle, which is a choice!… well, no more!
Hottest Music of the Year Takes #1!!
|Fox News Loves The New Music!!!(look at the bottom broadcast message)|whites People agree, Bestest Music Ever!
Crakertown. USA. January 2, 2009 - One of the Hottest Song Ever has hit the USA and its taking the nation by storm. Republicans, conservatives, whites, the Ultra Rich, and the GOP love it! They cant get enough of the Greatest Song Ever. Even Fox News supports it!! Many believe that the new song will become the Greatest Musical Album Ever and win a Platinum Album!! Congratulations guys!! You deserve it!!
Terrorists Trick Airport Security
Homeland Security hiring gynecologists
America. USA! January 1, 2009 - In what could had been the worst terrorist aircraft hijacking in American history, has been thwarted thanks to the bravery of the men
and women in uniform. The incident happened last night, when a couple boarded ‘Norwest Airline Fight 59’. What the passengers didn’t know was that the terrorist-couple were smuggling a mini-terrorist inside one of them. “We believe that they smuggled the terrorist within Mrs. Terrorist’s “snatch”. It was pretty clever; no one would have ever though about doing a search in there…” declared airport security. The Terrorist-couple were able to fool security and board their airplane, all would have gone according to their plan, if it wasn’t for a blunder. The Terrorist’s “snatch” couldn’t hold up much longer, so the mini-terrorist prematurely tried to escape from his hiding place and tried to assault the air marshal. But luckily the little bastard was overpowered and the Terrorists were arrested. Because of the incident, homeland security will now enforce a new policy, a widespread vaginal snatchginal search on every passenger from now on. “You can’t believe how many patriots have volunteered to sign up!! No doubt about it, we will make America safer after this!” declared airport security. Strangely enough only very few female volunteers signed up; this shows that America’s National Security is a man’s job…
- Update: for some stranger reasons there is a large group of women protesting outside the airport. They demand that the terrorists be released immediately, and for the airport to ‘apologize’ to the Terrorist-couple. They also want Homeland Security to drop their "dumb" idea… no doubt, they must be un-american feminazis…
Is a New Years Miracle!!
Thieves are sorry
Ultrarichtown, USA. January 1, 2009 - Is a
christmas New Years miracle! Mr. Madoff Ultra Rich Man got his stolen property back! Acording with the police the thieves were sorry and ashamed when they heard the story of how by depraving Madoff this beautiful beautiful saint of his belonging has caused a lot of anguish. “We are sooo sorry,” cried the thieves. “I am so ashamed, I will never be able to show my face in public!!” Let this be a lesson to the thieves. What you did was immoral and shameful; you bring shame and embarrassment to your people and your family!!! Crime never pays, and you should always return what you have taken unlawfully. Can you imagine the lives that you wreak by committing such atrocious and shameful crimes? What would your mother say about this? Imagine what your community is whispering behind your backs… hell, I am sure your ancestors wished that you have never been born. But thank God the police was here; so no harm, no foul…