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Bottled water is nature's way of telling us to get off our butts and do it for ourselves. Also, Bottled Water has been cleansed of all it's natural, yet toxic Bear pollutants.
Meg, Stephen Colbert's assistant was tragically killed in a recent bottled water catastrophe. Those in charge of investigating this horrific tragedy are still questioning whether the bottle was tampered with. In this scenario the prime suspects would be a group of crafty Bear infiltrators.