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Baby Jesus
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
Combat Bootstrap

The tool for every Good American.

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I've been on food stamps and welfare. Anybody help me out? No.
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~ Craig T. Nelson

Bootstraps are the most important part of the boot, and vital to all Real Americans. The origin of the computer term "re-boot". It means doing the impossible, starting from nothing, "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps", etc.

Conservative Republicans are exemplars of bootstrap-lifting, considering how hard they had to work to inherit family fortunes.

Contrary to popular belief, you can't compare 'kissing your own elbow' to 'pulling your self up by your bootstraps' because my Uncle Doogal managed to kiss his own elbow last week. On a side note, he also managed to divide by zero, a feat that up until now only God has been able to do.

It is also the name of a famous pirate, as well as those little strap thingies on the back of your workboots (it is generally NOT recommended that you try to pick yourself by those.)


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is a part of's dictionary, "Watch What You Say". For the full dictionary, click here.

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