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May have been named after a Doobie Brothers song.
Originally, they were named after a Doobie Brothers' song. Then, they decided to change it after someone told Erik what "doobie" meant. Erik chose the easier to spell and less narcotic Xe as "Blackwater's" replacement. After someone told him Xe was a really gay name, Erik changed the name again. This time he picked "Academi".
Please, no one tell him how elitist it sounds.
Plans Under A Democrat AdministrationEdit
Like that would ever happen, but seriously...
- During her presidential campaign, Hillary Clinton cut a deal with them whereby they would enforce her edict when she declared Martial Law.
Members of the BoardEdit
- Dennis Kucinich has secretly been on their payroll for years
- John Edwards has enjoyed a non-publicized position on their board of directors since mid-2005,
- Joe Biden plans to pardon any and all Blackwater employees from any fines or prison sentences that may result from future investigations and indictments
Ethics Consultant to the Security Consultant Corporation For AmericaEdit
It's a natural fit. Or an intelligently designed fit. Whatever.
Liberals Hate CapitalismEdit
Apparently some liberal hippies are attacking Blackwater's way of life. A bunch of liberals made some outragious claims against Blackwater's rights to make a profit as outlined somewhere in the Constitution.
Other liberals claimed Blackwater did something bad in Iraq. The Blackwater guards were in fact protecting George W. Bush in one of his visits to Iraq and exterminating all the terrorists in the town.
If you are ever called to serve on a jury in the Blackwater trial, there are three important things to remember:
- it's not wrong to make a profit
- insurgents kill Americans
- liberals hate freedom
Successes in IraqEdit
Rebranded Departments, EnterprisesEdit
- U.S. Training Center, Inc.
- Hippies Serves Papers for "Moral Bankruptcy"
- Blackwater owns the government a frier
- Blackwater to launch New Crusade!
- Blackwater gets lucrative contract from Dick Cheney
- CIA to null lucrative contract
- Black Water to purchase Private Contractors to help them fight the Gay Disease
- Evil Hippies are hurting Contractor's business!!
- Blackwater to liberate Pakistan
- Blackwater convinces court that shootings were self defense
- Blackwater welcomes New CEO: Eric Cartman
- Blackwater CEO Eric Cartman to retire
- Blackwater's Christmas bonuses will be huge this year!
- Blackwater has brothers and sister companies
- We are going to Disneyland!!!
- Blackwater wins case, party at da house!
- Blackwater to protect our precious oil
- Blackwater to police America