Black Sabbath
belongs to a coven that makes satanic music
which are lullabies to the Baby Satan

Black Sabbath is a band of satan loving druggies. They were early pioneer's of the greatest form of music music known as heavy metal. One only needs to examine the name to discover their true ambitions. They obviously wanted the sabbath-day abolished and replaced with the sabbath-night so they could spend the day-time out promoting their liberal agenda. Luckily, Christianity was spared from this threat when lead singer Ozzy Osbourne got so high he lost the ability to speak.

Ozzy Osbourne has become a renowned family man, garnering praise from such heroes as Dan Quayle. While the many have questioned his sentiments of praise for Osbourne who is an admitted drug addict and domestic abuser that once tried to kill his wife, he doesn't hope that every woman in America gets an abortion like Murphy Brown and is therefore safer to leave your child unattended with. Osbourne was also one of the many children left behind during the Lyndon Johnson years, albeit in a different country, and to this day does not write any of the lyrics he sings.

Black Sabbath did however, replace the genuinely affable Osbourne with a man by the name of Ronnie James Dio. Dio has not only written lyrics (despite also growing up during the Lyndon Johnson years) that have been anti-religion. Genetically, being that Dio is only about 5'4", he can not possibly have as big of a voice as he claims to have. The most widely regarded theories are that he has a large black man backstage singing for him, or he has somehow arranged a deal with the man he sings about in such high regard: Satan.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.