Black Jesus is fancy.
Born in 1628 AD, to Viking parents in Norway. Upon realizing he was black they traded him for food and a towel to some Egyptians. He built pyramids at age 13 then defeated Alexander the Great in a mind battle and gave him syphilis with his mind, (he is bisexual but he doesnt get his funk on, except on holidays). At age 24 he went to Israel and said, “where all the white women at.” He healed people and stuff then went in hiding from the Nazis for the next 100 years. Came back with the cover name of Thugnificant. Killed a man then went back into hiding. Is still in hiding to this day. To summon Black Jesus, simply walk into a dark alley in "that neighborhood you try not to drive through", with an offering of a 40 oz. malt liquor and some Popeye's fried chicken and exclaim, "Yo! Black Jesus! I be illin' fo yo religinz fo sho! Come lurn me up some knowledge!" Black Jesus will then come out of the darkness and shoot you with knowledge bullets from his glock.
Meat vision, Acid generation, Extreme cooking, Midget powers, Probability manipulation, Digging, Upside down swimming, Skin color, Duck powers, Tricky, Animal morphing, Sublimation, Drinking, relly fast typing
Famous Good DeedsEdit
- Saved a baby
- Took my dog for a walk
- Started forest fire, then stopped it
- Gave compliment to white Santa
- Wears clothes
- Destroyed nudist colony
- Smited white person
- Good whisperer
- Black Malls have Black Santas.
- Member of the super team