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Billy Mays

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Billy Mays
brings Wealth and Prosperity to Americans and
The Free Market
America thanks you, Billy Mays
BillyMays

ITS JUST $19.95!

BILLY MAYS OR THE GHOST OF BILLY MAYS IS A GHOSTLY APPARITION OF THE NETHERWORLD THAT APPEARS IN THE TV SCREENS OF ALL REAL AMERICANS JUST WAITING TO BUY HIS REAL AMERICAN PRODUCTS. CONSUMERS ARE SO HAPPY WITH HIS FINE WARES THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO SELL THEIR SOULS FOR IT!

SOME GOOD CAPITALIST BOYS AND GOOD CAPITALIST GIRLS EVEN WONDER IF THE GHOSTS OF BILLY MAYS IS THE LEGENDARY "SPIRIT OF CAPITALISM" THAT VISITS ALL GOOD CAPITALIST CHILDREN EVERY NIGHT SO THEY CAN BE SURPRISED TO FIND HIS FINE PRODUCTS THE NEXT MORNING WITH AN OVERCHARGED CREDIT CARD BILL.

IT IS BELIEVED THAT THE NOVEL DEATH OF A SALESMAN IS ABOUT HIS LIFE.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!Edit

BECAUSE OF CONTRACTUAL RESPONSIBILITIES, THE GHOST OF BILLY MAYS IS UNDER LEGAL OBLIGATION TO CONTINUE TO PITCH AMERICA'S PRODUCTS FOR ALL ETERNITY.

BUT WAIT!!Edit

CALL NOW AND YOU WILL RECEIVE A FREE PAIR OF THATCHERS, BUT YOU'VE GOTTA CALL NOW. HERE'S HOW TO ORDER: PLEASE DIAL 1-888-OOPS-JEW.

EXTERNAL TUBESEdit

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