Ad blocker interference detected!
Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers
Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.
Belichick graduated with honors from the FU School of Media Relations under the tutelage of Dick Cheney. Belichick's lessons under Cheney provided him with the tools to be a successful football coach and the can-do attitude to do whatever it takes to win, including
lying, cheating, and stealing old fashion hard work.
Due to its jealousy and suspicion of all popular Alpha Dogs, the liberal media has recently engaged in a smear campaign against the super-successful Balls Belichick. Specifically, the media has made the following ridiculous accusations about Belichick:
- In from 2000-2007, he allegedly videotaped opposing teams' defensive play calls. If such tapes existed, I am sure the would be in the hands of Senator Charles Schumer right now.
- In 2000, Belichick reneged on a contract deal with the New York Jets.
- In 2002, Belichick allegedly video taped the Rams final walk-through before Super Bowl XXXVI. The fact that the Rams only scored 17 points when their season average was 34 points is proof that this didn't happen. If Belichick video taped their walk-through they would have not scored any points.
- In 2005 thru current, Belichick has been dishonest on injury reports to mislead teams about the status of his players.
- In 2006, Belichick had an alleged affair.
- In 2007, one of Belichick's players admitted to using performance enhancing drugs.
- Belichick's insistance on constantly wearing a dirty, torn hooded sweatshirt (the "hoodie") has started a fashion trend that extends even beyond the football world.
- Belichick is NOT the other parent of Tom Brady's love-child.
- Belichick authored Bill Belichick's Book of Totally Awesome Tricks, Treats, and Cheats, inspired by Richard Nixon.
- Although Belichick is incapable of smiling, on an average of once a year, he performs an inverted frown.