On December 3rd, 2006, Stephen Colbert was named the Big Breakthrough in VH1's Big in '06 competition.
This was a competition not a challenge. Thanks to the votes of multitudes of heroes in the Colbert Nation, Stephen triumphed over other soon-to-be-historical-footnotes like Borat and the cast of High School Musical.
The award was personaly presented to Stephen by heroic Crime Scene Investigators representing the Las Vegas Police Department and the Miami Police Department.
Stephen's Pre-Taped Acceptance SpeechEditStephen polishing his Peabody Award and his Emmy Awards.
STEPHEN: Oh, hi. Thank you 'Video Hits One' for honoring me with this year's Big Breakthrough Award. I wish I could be there with you to bask in your praise of me, but unfortunately I had other commitments. My many other awards don't polish themselves. You're gonna have a new brother 'Emmy Lu!'
Stephen makes Emmy Lu kiss the Big Breakthrough Cup.
STEPHEN: You know, I honestly didn't expect to win but luckily I pre-tape an acceptance speech for every award show. Now I promised myself I wouldn't get emotional, which is why I'm having an intern get emotional for me. Meg? Come on.
Meg appears, no longer wearing her burqa.
STEPHEN: Let 'er rip.
Meg begins to cry.
STEPHEN: Come on! Waterworks! This is the 'Big in 06' award...That's gonna have to do - we're running out of time. Go. Go.
STEPHEN: As you can see, I'm deeply touched. There are so many people to thank. First off I want to thank myself for all my hard work and effort. I was my rock. Stephen I love you!
He blows himself a kiss, reaches out, grabs it and applies it to his cheek.
STEPHEN: I also want to congratulate my fellow Breakthrough nominees. I'd name you but that would just give you screen time you don't deserve. You gotta earn it The Cast of High School Musical. No free rides. And of course, I'd like to thank all of the people who voted for me. And more importantly, all the people who created computer programs to vote for me. So thank all of you, and all of me. Next year I've got my sights set on winning Big Power Couple. Call me, Ellen DeGeneres.
Stephen goes back to polishing his awards, then polishes the Big Breakthrough Cup. As he rubs the silver, he looks up into the air above his head.
STEPHEN: A genie?!
Stephen's Acceptance Speech