Beastiality is not cool. In fact, beastiality is the cause of all our world's problems, including the AIDS and high crime rate.
Do you like Beastiality? Well surprise, surprise, so did the Nazis! In fact, Hitler used to "step out" with geese in his "freizeiht" (that's "free time" in American). (In addition to their love of beastiality, the Nazis also couldn't speak American very good.)
Before you go any further down beastiality's slippery slope, it's important for you to remember that beastiality is only ok when it's between a male human and female snake (they can unhinge their jaws). To make sure it's a female you must use a probe and it will probably piss off the snake.
Eagle porn is in the grey zone. You can tell because when The Font of All Wisdom described two eagles doing it, he used the word "limbless" and said it was "just like with people." At the same time, he didn't outright endorse it as he had man on snake.
Do you remember that nursery rhyme you used to gleefully recite as a child?
Well, that piece of filth was implanted in your skull membrane by Globxor, the Tealish-brown menace (one of Satan's more menacing manifestations). He lives inside all beastialists, and there's only one way to stop him: titty porn. All natural, homegrown, HUMAN titty porn. American titty porn, just like mom used to make. Yeah, that'll do the trick.