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Bearcago

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"CATERPILLARS BOINK FLYING UNDER THE WATER CARRY THE WATER!"
I fear what I don't understand, and I don't understand this.
Be less random and more truthy--use your gut.


Bearcago was formed as the chief industrial city of the rogue Bear Nation in the aftermath of the Bear Uprising of 2012. The human population of Bearcago rapidly diminished in subsequent years, due in part to an outsourcing of highly-skilled jobs and, of course, senseless bear attacks. Not surprisingly, the carnivore population grew steadily during this time, with increases realized in the following demographics: bears, wolves, otters, zebras, and Dabney Coleman.

Bearcago was reclaimed by America in the year 2020 during the Battle of Hindsight. All captured bears were placed in internment camps or forced into hard labor via the elaborate rickshaw industry that would eventually restore Chicago to its former glory.

Chief ImportsEdit

The chief imports of Bearcago were green bean casserole and roller skates.

Chief ExportsEdit

The chief exports of Bearcago were paper fortune tellers, salad dressing, and terrorism.

ClimateEdit

The climate of Bearcago differed dramatically to that of the former Chicago. This phenomenon was due to the fact that the governing body of Bearcago, the Bear Elders, mandated the obstruction of the sun's rays. An enormous dome to cover the city was quickly commissioned and the contract was rewarded to a local bear-owned company through a non-competitive bid process. As a result, the summers in Bearcago were colder and darker. So were the springs, falls, and winters. Precipitation was non-existent. These adjustments in climate proved challenging for the agriculture of Bearcago and, subsequently, dependency on porridge increased.

EntertainmentEdit

Entertainment was outlawed in Bearcago. Any citizen caught having fun, or suspected of generally enjoying themselves in any non-descript manner, were promptly eaten.

There was also a theatre district that performed mainly musicals.

SportsEdit

Wind surfing was the official government-sanctioned sport of Bearcago. Citizens of Bearcago were required to compete in the annual city-wide competition. These events were well-attended though seldomly rewarding on account of the lack of wind resulting from the dome encompassing Bearcago. Wind Surfing Competitions typically lasted for weeks before participants became bored or bladder-related responsibilities forced them to forfeit.

Sister CitiesEdit

For many years, Bearcago participated in free trade with the sovereign city of Deertroit. Attempts to establish a worker exchange program ultimately failed when residents of Bearcago realized that residents of Deertroit tasted delicious.

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