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Origins of Bear City Edit

The popular belief that Dr. Stephen Colbert holds, which makes it both right and and truthy, is that just seconds after the universe exploded the Colbear ejaculated into the primordial goo thus creating his vast Beartopia

Bear city

bear preparing for battle

After the initial ejaculation, bear city floated around the universe until it settled in the vast wilderness of Canada. Stephen Colbert along with Chuck Norris and Tek Jansen went in hunt of this wretched place. When Bear city was found Colbert, Norris, and Jansen initiated a full frontal assault aimed at destroying the city before it could do any serious harm to freedom loving conservatives. During the assault General Colbert sentChuck Norris to the right flank and Tek Jansen to the left while Stephen himself took on the heart of the Bear forces. After a gallant battle in which many ninja panda bears were slaughtered (there is still a shortage of them today) the three heroes were unable to completely destroy bear city. During the battle the brave and god -like Stephen Colbert faced off for the first time with his arch nemesis the Colbear. After a fierce battle, Stephen Colbert was able to force the Colbear to retreat in shame because he was obviously no match for Stephen. The Colbear realized he had to move his city. With the help of all his enslaved citizens they picked up and moved the entire city. To ensure that Stephen Colbert would never be able to locate and thus destroy Bear City the bears have used a cloaking device that they stole from Harry Potter while he posed naked in front of a white horse. Despite this, Stephen Colbert the wizard is working tirelessly to uncloak this beartropolis.

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