"Bear Baiting"
is an Official "Lover of Immoral Bears" (LiB) Site™

"Bear baiting" can describe two different practices, one of which is okay, the other indescribably horrific.

Def. 1. "Bear baiting" is the act of setting a pack of dogs loose to maul and/or completely devour a chained-up bear.
Def. 2. "Bear baiting" is the act of a bear pretending to be cute and cuddly in order to lure (or "bait") unsuspecting people close to it, ostensibly to feed or have their pictures taken with said bear. This usually ends with the people being mauled or completely devoured by the bear.
Example: The footage shown on The Colbert Report of a polar bear trying to pull a woman through the fence at the zoo. She was a victim of bear baiting.

History Edit

Bear baiting (def. 1) was a common practice in ye olde England up until the 19th century. It involved taking a bear and tying it to a pole (the rightful fate of every bear on the planet) and then unleashing a pack of heroic dogs to tear the bearrorist to shreds. People at this time would huddle together in rank, smelly pits ("theaters") to witness their national security being thus protected. Royalty such as King Henry VIII, Queen Elizabeth I, and King Stephen of Yore were great fans of bear baiting. This proves to us that pussy liberalism was unknown at this time in history.


A contemporary Bearrorist receiving his comeuppance.

Modern Applications Edit

Today, groups such as the Stephen Colbert Armada of Minnesota are actively harassing the bear baiting (def. 2) liberals in Congress to not only legalize, but make mandatory bear baiting (def. 1) as a part of America's Global War on Terror (USA! USA! USA!). America-loving activists in, get this, PAKISTAN, have been taking matters into their own hands, and setting a great example for the rest of the world by holding up to 100 bear baitings every year. But this is still not nearly enough. The only threat greater to the planet than Osama himself is bears, those damned dirty bears! We must unite against those fat cat liberal politicians and mandate bear baiting (def. 1) once and for all! To help in this cause, write to your local Congressman or, if he or she is a liberal, create a spicy scandal involving them to get them "das boot"-ed from Congress.

See AlsoEdit

External SourcesEdit

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