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Bathroom
is part of The Perfect American Home™


A bathroom is a special place in the house where people do their dirty, sinful business. Socialists have forced businesses to make bathrooms available to non-customers. Bathrooms can also be found in parks and in airports.

They are also known by the following nicknames:

  • restroom
  • can
  • head

What's Inside The Bathroom?Edit

DrunkOnCan

A typical public bathroom stall.

A light and fan can be activated by a switch found at the entrance. In public bathrooms, these devices may not work properly or at all. The walls and floor of a bathroom are covered by tile to ease the job of cleaning.

Every bathroom has at least one place to evacuate the sins of your bowels.

In public bathrooms, there may be more than one place for evacuation separated into semi-private stalls. Inside the stalls one can find a porcelain toilet on the floor and a toilet paper dispenser on the wall. In public bathrooms for men, there is also a special toilet on the wall, called a "urinal". This special toilet allows men to remain erect during evacuation to avoid the appearance of vulnerability.

Also, bathrooms usually contain a mirror above a sink so you can look at your shame-filled face as you try to wash away your shame.

Somewhere on the floor will be a drain in case the flood of sinners backs up the plumbing.

People You Meet In The BathroomEdit

Public Bathroom EtiquetteEdit

Be sure your neighbor in the next stall is not a policeman! But, if he is, check the other stall for a lawyer

  • keep your hands inside your own stall, if you wish to communicate with your neighbor, use your feet
  • always carry a $20 bill with you to tip the attendant, if you do not have $20, it is customary to use alternate means as a tip

See also:Edit

City Hall


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