Al Franken
Barney has earned
is too Canadian, speak American, eh.
makes the Baby Jesus cry,
and should be treated with caution contempt!
Osama bin Lisa
Mahmoud Ahmedi-Barney-nejad is a terrorist.
WARNING: By choosing to visit
you have contracted Teh Ghey!

Report to the closest authorized de-gayification church near you to begin ungayification immediately.
is for the kids!

Barney is a Canadian purple dinosaur alter-ego of liberal Congressman Barney Frank. When Mr. Frank isn't waffling in Congress or trying to undermine American capitalism, he gets medicinally high, dons his famous foam outfit, and works to corrupt the kids through the Stereotypical Canadian Agenda of love, friendship, & the Socialist method of sharing.

Famous SongsEdit

Barney has two famous songs, both of which corrupt the youth and help to undermine good American values. It is your job as a good Colberican to give Barney a good wag of the finger whenever he appears on your television singing this stuff.

Barney Theme SongEdit

Barney is a dinosaur that comes from lots of places
He has a bazooka and he'll make sure that this whole screen
will be filled with lots and lots of blooood and gore
If u dont listen to him u wiiiiiilllllll be a door
Barney will steal your soul and make it very painfu
'If u dont listen to him it will be slow AND painful
So u better shut the f*ck u&nbsp
and watch ur f*cking mouth
Barney is a f*cking bitch

and he kills lots of people

I Love You (The Pot Song)Edit

I love you
You love me
So let's smoke pot medicinally.
With a great big puff
We'll smoke out liberty
And say goodbye to the Land Of The Free.

And Friends!Edit

Barney has a whole legion of evil friends. These include:

  • Larry "B.J." Craig - a yellow dinosaur who is woefully out of step with what his party wants.
  • Baby Bop Pelosi - a little green dinosaur who constantly struggles to understand how Congress works.
  • Boy George - joined the cast after smoking pot while watching the show at the same time on April 20th, 1992, giving birth to that so-called, socialist, 420 hippie holiday.
  • Council of Doom- The only sane friends that can secretly destroy any government from the core. The Council of Doom is currently at war with Elmo in his demonic world. Calls will be returned as soon as possible. We are sorry for the inconvenience.


The most prominent enemy of Barney's evil agenda is the heroic Tek Jansen, who usually fights the marauding dinosaur in miniature cityscapes when Godzilla isn't using them.

Be carefulEdit

Barney has a bazooka and a machine gun and he shoots people like crazy

This is good because he shot Justin Beiber in the head and he shot the map when He said he was the map 10000000 times

Barney is TV-MA and is appropiate for little kids.

Barney is also naked and for some reason he has human parts if you know what I mean. For some reason there is blood all over his body.

In one episode he says this:

"Hello little B*tches

You need to strip clothes. This will be needed in public

Suck my anus

also, say 'go F*ck Yourself' to Your friends and they will have sex with you

See AlsoEdit

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