Barbara Walters is a prehistoric fossil that sleeps with bears. She is also a lesbian, but not the hot kind. Apparently Barbara can talk to her dog, and is confused and angered by technology, most notably The Internets.
December 3, 2008 NailingEdit
- new TV special: "The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2008"
- she will be the second most fascinating person in her interview
- she purchased A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift Of All!
- ABC wouldn't buy it for her
- Stephen signed it:
- "To Babs: You are hot"
- Stephen then smelled the pen
- Stephen recreated a Barbara Walters interview with ferns and soft focus
- she had interviewed:
- Stephen would have been on the list, but he doesn't like accomplishing things
- he was #11
- Stephen is afraid to go on The View
- they seem like a race of tribal women
- people are only fascinating for one year
- she has interviewed cannibals
- fascination goes in the wind
- book: "Audition"
- Stephen has no problems because he has confidence
- she has none
- Stephen announces that she got the part
Barbara Walters Factoids Edit
- Barbara actually gave a live report from the soup and bread ration line during The Great Depression
- Barbara also gave a live Report from The Soviet Breadlines
- Barbara thinks John Stossel isn't a crazy man with a mustache
- Barbara and the Cryptkeeper from Tales from the Crypt graduated high school with Jesus. The Cryptkeeper was valedictorian
- Barbara eats babies and farts dust