can be found in any all-American hometown!

A bar is where hippies and whores go to meet others just like them, instead of going to church to meet healthy and loving people so they can make babies in the Name of The Lord, Amen.

Where Can One Find A Bar?Edit

  • Across the street from the mill
  • No more than 500 feet from a college campus
  • Anywhere misery and despair are sold

What Kinds of Things Can Be Found Inside A Bar?Edit

  • Drunkeness
  • Sin
  • Loneliness
  • Pretzels

Who Works At A Bar?Edit

What Happens At A Bar?Edit

We'd tell you, if only we could remember.

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