If you work hard, you'll get ahead as a

These are ballerinas


This is Rudolf Nureyev

Females in ballet are called ballerinas. The term 'female' here is used to refer to a female shaped collection of rubber bands. Ballerina don't have bones. 

A ballerina is not a woman because all ballerinas are girls. They are not allowed to grow up. Unless they are Natalie Portman or Mila Kunis.

Men in ballet are called dancers. Men in ballet are not actually men. The exception is if they introduce non-tight-clad men to ballerinas who think they are Natalie Portman or Mila Kunis. They are also often called sissy, gay-boy, sweet-cheeks & "Oh My God!". They are allowed to be grown-ups, if they really want to, because how else would they become creepy instructors.

Who Can Become A Ballerina?Edit

Any girl with a sense of balance & rhythm can become a ballerina as long as she doesn't have boobs. Large-breasted bellerinas are a myth. Fat ballerinas are used for the role of 'Boulders' or "Large landforms 2' in interpretive peices. 
Anorexic ballerina

Beauty and the Bones

What Education Does A Ballerina Need?Edit

Some say years of practice, ballet, character dance, jazz dance, history of music and ballet.

I say, an advanced degree in Pain Management

( Note: Either education requires a instructor with a French or Russian accent. Any accent similar but not actually Russian is still called Russian because America, that's why.)


Agony of d-feet

What Special Equipment Do Ballerinas Need?Edit

Pointe shoes. Mother. Gay boyfriend. Band-aids. Feathers.

Where Do Ballerinas Work?Edit

Work? Does that look like work? No, these beautiful flowers are floating gracefully across the stage, accompanied by classical music. How could that possibly be work?

Those bloody, deformed feet are just for show. Stop whining!!

How Much Money Do Ballerinas Make?Edit

Money? These are Artists. You would insult their art with money? Mostly, they pay to take classes and wait tables to earn a meger living.

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