Now respect my authority!
I don't understandEdit
Look, we are in a war, and our enemies want to kill us. We need American authorities to do what's right for America and America's Freedoms. Since 9/11 the world has changed. We need to change to stay ahead of the terrorists. We can't wait to ask for permission! The authorities in America have to do what's right, and do it now. Or fast, they...they can't wait to ask someone. Don't you see?
Let me put it another wayEdit
What Authority Can Congress Give The President?Edit
But What Authority Did Congress Give...Edit
The President has the authority to protect America. It's in the constitution. The President's job is to protect the people, and the country...America...
Wait, let me finish...
Saddam Hussein had weapons, or not, but he hates America. He hates, he wanted, he said...he was gonna kill my dad. The President isn't supposed to just protect Whitney Houston, he, he...The President will protect America--everybody.
The President has the authority to do that.
Listen, I don't see how this is hard to understand, I'm a flaming idiot, and even I get it. The President has the authority to protect America, period. Next question.
Okay, what do you say to critics who say the Presidency is becoming too "Authoritarian"?Edit
Hey, come on, those are words, I'm trying to protect America, and if, if that means, if being Author-i-tizi-na...Author-im...I have to protect America.
Hang on...(grunt)...ahhh! You smell that? I had beans for lunch.
Now, what were you saying?
Matt, authoritologists are good for America, bottom line. America doesn't need to ask permission. Congress gave the President the authorium to use necessary force, If you have nothing to hide...Americans understand this all, I have the author, the President gave Congress, or...which means attack Iraq, um, Iran, no wait, Iraq is right, hang on...hey, pull my finger Lauer, go ahead, come on.
You're such a puss.
Hey you ever meet Gannon? He's a fagula, just like you, but he wasn't a puss. You need to clear some brush, Lauer, put some hair on yer balls.
So, what you're saying is...Edit
Don't put words in my mouth TV-boy!
Hey you go to college? You ever read? I read a bunch of books last month, I was supposed to read 'em in college, but (heh, heh) I read 'em last week, and got paid to do it! Woo-hoo! Don't mess with Texas!
Lookit, authori-jihadists have the responsibility to do what's right, and blah, blah, blah, even I'm getting bored with all this. What say, you and me go out back and have our own private press conference, eh Matt?
Sir, get your hand off my crotchEdit
Hey, don't get all snippy.
Sir, let me ask it this way...Edit
I done that before. Daddy and Mother went out of town to do business in Texas with the Saudis and I watched the whole house. (Heh, heh) I tied Jeb to a tree and threw firecrackers at his nekkid-ass! (heh, heh)
Hey, the President has to use his office to help America. If fuckin' the dog keeps America safe, I say, open the kennel...
Okay, Now I'm going to be sick...Edit
Same here...hey Laura, tell Condi I want a bath!