is too Australian for the average American.

For other things Australian, click here

Citizens of AustraliaEdit

See also kangaroo-jockeys, bonzer blokes and raging alcoholics.

Urban Australia was founded by English convicts, or to put it another way, England's rejects. Urban America was founded by English puritans, or to put it another way, England's weirdoes. Although the difference between convicts and weirdoes is great, the bottom line is that both countries were formed by people the british were glad to see the back of.

For different reasons, many people in both Australia and America are reluctant to recognise their cultural similarities. What puritan wishes to be associated with convicts and what self respectiing criminal wants to be thought of in the same vain as happy clapping christians from the american bible belt?

A tiny minority of Australians are obsessed with telling the world that the average Australian doesn't wrestle crocodiles, drink beer and live on BBQ's but we know the truth. They love the stereotypical image of themselves just as americans love being thought of as islamaphobes who all carry guns, drive 4X4's and talk incessantly about how they were abducted by aliens on the way home from disneyland.


Australia is a poor sad country at the arse end of the earth. Australians spent their time sitting staring out to sea and wishing they could be in America. Once upon a time all Australians were professional criminals, this has changed and now most of them are only amateurs although many of them, such as Rupert Murdoch, get the opportunity to become heros in corporate America.


Australia was settled by the British who were stupid enough to think that sending criminals to a country with balmy summers, golden beaches and a 35 hour working week was some sort of punishment. Being British themselves, these early (prototype) Australians managed to make the worst out of a good situation.


Australians spend their days drinking beer and eating vegemite sandwiches, which is akin to eating your own fecal matter.

NOYtable uSTRALiansEdit

  • Russell Crowe, 30 Odd Foot Of Grunts lead singer, bellboy-head-phone-throw champion, Oceania devision
  • Steve Irwin, forgiven post-humously for baby-dangling
  • George Lazenby, voted fourth greatest Bond, first greatest Lazenby by L-Surnames and Espionage Magazine
  • Everyone in Your ass

Series of TubesEdit

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