Be careful when reading
as it might have something to do with thinking...

Aristotle is one of the great philosophers of all time. Using his gut, he discovered the existence of logic, and formulated a number of empirical axioms which he called "syllogisms", the most famous undoubtedly being the following:

Premise: All A are B.
Premise: All B are C.
Conclusion: Therefore, all A are C.

As for the other syllogisms, nobody remembers them, but everyone knows that, together with the above syllogism, one can prove conclusively that God exists, and that capitalism rocks.

Life of AristotleEdit

Aristotle was born on the mean streets of Sta... Sta... Sparta in Greece. He was educated as a member of the aristocracy, after which he travelled to Athens, and Asia Minor.

While in Asia Minor, Aristotle discovered the importance of the Christian family, and immediately converted to Real Americanism. He married Pythias, the daughter of Hermias of Atarneus. He then went to Lesbos to persuade the Lesbos people — Lesbians — to worship the Baby Jesus.

To show the Lesbians the greatness of Christianity, Aristotle wrote several works: Physics, Metaphysics, Nicomachean Ethics, Organon, and more. The Organon is undoubtedly the most important work of all, since they contain the syllogisms.

Example of Aristotelian TruthyismsEdit

As an example of how the Aristotlean syllogisms can help one attain truth, we now present the final, definitive, devastating proof that God exists, using solid principles of logic as discovered by Aristotle. Take that, liberals!

Premise: God is great.
Premise: If God does not exist, then He is not great.
Conclusion: Therefore, God exists.

At this point, the cowardly liberals will definitely complain about how we should be careful about discoursing over things that have not been shown to exist and all that. But as every Real American knows, God clearly exists in the first place. What can be wrong about speaking of a being who exists as if he exists? Nothing, that is what. We know that God exists, and the Aristotlean argument confirms, once and for all, that God indeed exists.

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