Aristotle is one of the great philosophers of all time. Using his gut, he discovered the existence of logic, and formulated a number of empirical axioms which he called "syllogisms", the most famous undoubtedly being the following:
- Premise: All A are B.
- Premise: All B are C.
- Conclusion: Therefore, all A are C.
Life of AristotleEdit
While in Asia Minor, Aristotle discovered the importance of the Christian family, and immediately converted to Real Americanism. He married Pythias, the daughter of Hermias of Atarneus. He then went to Lesbos to persuade the Lesbos people — Lesbians — to worship the Baby Jesus.
To show the Lesbians the greatness of Christianity, Aristotle wrote several works: Physics, Metaphysics, Nicomachean Ethics, Organon, and more. The Organon is undoubtedly the most important work of all, since they contain the syllogisms.
Example of Aristotelian TruthyismsEdit
As an example of how the Aristotlean syllogisms can help one attain truth, we now present the final, definitive, devastating proof that God exists, using solid principles of logic as discovered by Aristotle. Take that, liberals!
- Premise: God is great.
- Premise: If God does not exist, then He is not great.
- Conclusion: Therefore, God exists.
At this point, the cowardly liberals will definitely complain about how we should be careful about discoursing over things that have not been shown to exist and all that. But as every Real American knows, God clearly exists in the first place. What can be wrong about speaking of a being who exists as if he exists? Nothing, that is what. We know that God exists, and the Aristotlean argument confirms, once and for all, that God indeed exists.