Apple Pie

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This article is about Americans as a people. For American, the language, see: American (language)

An All-American Mom enjoying her Apple Pie with a hotdog


Apple pie is a delicious American treat, and is only enjoyed by Republicans. It is stated that shortly after the American Revolution, Jesus Christ had come back to our realm with an apple pie and a quill. He used this quill to sign the Declaration of Independence and The US Constitution under the pseudonym "John Hancock".

Pie falls second to no food. Pie is the source of all American strength, and without it Chuck Norris would die. Pie is what allows Americans to be better than all other countries and without pie, the Chinese and the bears would conquer America once and for all.

Gloria & Jane's Apple Pie Recipe Edit


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