Anthrax (disease)

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God Touching Adam
"Anthrax (disease)"
you have been touched in a very special way.

Anthrax is a disease common to cows and other hooved animals.

How is it Contracted?Edit

Science cannot explain how anthrax first started, but Holy Scripture can: it is God's will.

God created the grasses of the fields, which is slaughtered by the cow, which God also created.

And God created anthrax in very much the same manner that He created the CIA in order to manufacture The AIDS to cleanse His Earth of The Gays, which He did not create.

But, He did created the cow.

In short, God created anthrax to control the population of cows.

How is it Spread?Edit

Very little is known about how cows give it to each other, but studies have shown that cows known to be homosexual or just really slutty are more likely to have the disease.

There is substantial belief linking the disease to cows that engage in sex without the benefit of the sacred institution of marriage.

As with every species on God's blessed planet, the female is the original carrier of all sin and disease.

Female cows give male cows the disease in the very same manner Eve gave Adam the apple.

Male cows that eat arugula become gay and highly susceptible.

How do humans get Anthrax?Edit

Apparently a cow that has anthrax can give it to another cow or other animal of a completely different species, including humans.

After September 11th, there were rumors that some letters with anthrax were mailed.

The ridiculousness of that claim is matched only by the gayness of the statement.

Anthrax is a disease and cannot be mailed. The United States Government does not allow anything to be mailed without proper postage. And there is no such thing as a disease stamp.

As described earlier, the unholy forms of sex are the most common way to contract anthrax, therefore the people who contracted the disease "through the mail" obviously had sex with an envelope that also had sex with a cow that had anthrax.

Is There A Cure?Edit

Probably not. Cows are not human and therefore cannot be married by Jesus, (baby or otherwise) preventing them from receiving the Righteous Immune System of married, Christian heterosexuals.


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