Animal Kingdom is a collection of feudal kingdoms ruled by animals seeking to overthrow the Human Democracy (aka America).
According to legend, after Adam and Eve were evicted from the Garden of Eden, the animals revolted against God and tried to take over the Garden of Eden. God displeased with the animals' revolt decided that He needed to evict the animals, then He told Adam that he will have dominion over the animals as his personal slaves as a punishment for revolting against God's will. Ever since then animals and humans had been at war to see who has dominion over who. Animals have pledge to enslave the human race and get their payback against God.
The first leader of the Animals was a wolf named Lupon and he wanted to create France, the idea was so revolting that he was assassinated by a hero and the new leader of the pack, his name was Eaglelas Lionel Aslan, the most ferocious air land lion in history.
The First KingdomEdit
The First Animal Kingdom was founded six thousand years ago on the mythical land of Africa. It was called the Animalia Empire and it was ruled by the First Emperor Lionel Aslan I.
Emperor Aslan single handedly built the Animalia Empire and he conquered the lands that were not occupied by humans, making him a very powerful animal.
Emperor Aslan first conquered the Kingdom of Canine in 5,000 B.C., the caninenite population was enslaved and subjugated to serve the Empire as conscripts. Ever since then dogs have become very useful as soldiers of the Empire.
After the fall of Canine, Emperor Aslan decided to conquer the Lions of Judah to get their Lion Joowish gold to bankroll the Empire's agenda of conquest. According to legend Emperor Aslan met with a joowish lion that is believed to be a Lion Jesus that helped to convert Aslan into Animal Christianity.
History of The First Animalia EmpireEdit
- Emperor Aslan invades the Canary Island (6,000 B.C.)
- Expansion of the Canary Province (5,999 B.C.)
- The Tweety Bird Riots (5,750 B.C.)
- The Mad Cow Plague (5,700 B.C.)
- King Daffy Duck of the Avia Kingdom surrenders to Emperor Aslan, the Avia Kingdom becomes a province of the Empire (5,672 B.C.)
- King Daffy Duck commits suicide (5,671 B.C.)
- Scholar and Philosopher, Wile E. Coyote, writes treatise on "Natural Law and Falling Anvils" (5,650 B.C.)
- Scholar and Heretic, Road Runner, writes counter argument to Wile E. Coyote's treatise, "Beep Beep" (5,649 B.C.)
- General Sylvester the Kat dies during the battle for Canary Island (5,625 B.C.)
- Emperor Aslan defeats armies from the Easter Island, King Bugs Bunny signs peace treaty (5,624 B.C.)
- King Bugs Bunny gives Emperor Aslan bunny girls as tribute. Emperor Aslan takes all the girls as his personal concubines (5,620 B.C.)
- Emperor Aslan conquers Kingdom of Canine (5,000 B.C.)
- Fido II, Pharaoh of Canine, is paraded on the streets of the Empire as the Emperor's pet (4,972 B.C.)
- Emperor Aslan forms the first Dogmatic Guard as his personal bodyguards (4,950 B.C.)
- Emperor Aslan meets Lion Jesus, converts into Animal Christianity (4,750 B.C.)
- Emperor Aslan dies (4,749 B.C.)
- The First Animalia Empire Collapses (4,748 B.C.)
Feudal Lords and KingsEdit
Animals were at first worshipers of a pagan religion called animism in which they believed animals were gods, so they worship each other as gods and they had no problem in developing a big ego in the process. However, this was a problem because that meant that all animals were sacred and that to eat them was tantamount to heresy. This dilemma was really problematic for many carnivores who refused to eat anything but meat and so they were forced to go hungry for years, some suspected that this was actually a herbivore conspiracy to starve meat-eaters so they could take over the government and start their Herbivore Empire. Some even think that animism was actually created by PETA just to push their vegetarian agenda on the Animal Kingdom. The result was the force feeding of tofu to lions.
The joowish lions solved the famine crisis by creating their own religion based on kosher in which a special list was created to dictate which animals are ok to eat without being punished by their own divine self. The idea was heralded as awesome and it was copied by the pagan animals, then they killed the joowish lions for believing the silly notion that there is one god and than that god is human. But the idea of making a list of animals good to eat, that was very popular, and so animals to be eaten were selected by demand on special elections (the eating of political animals was for a short while very popular, until new laws were placed that prohibited the eating of an elected official, except senators, but no one likes to eat old meat).
The pagan animals started to worship and eat each other without fear of punishment from themselves, but this created confusion and chaos on the Animal Kingdom. Soon there were special interests groups trying to change the "Do Not Eat List" making the accessibility of meat almost impossible, famine soon started to descend on the land as there were less animals to eat on their list caused by years of litigation and bureaucracy.
Just before famine took over the land, Lion Jesus appeared and he brought the Gospel of Eating in which salvation can be found by being eaten and that we should only eat tasty animals. The idea is that it is ok to eat animals that are not kosher as it is not a sin therefore it is not a sacrilegious act. Instead one should feel guilty for eating an innocent animal and feel sorry afterward. Its all about being polite while devouring your prey.
After that animal paganism was replaced with Animal Christianity, after that the Buffet Crusades were created on the pursue of eating each kind of animal to see who was tasty. Pope Carōta III introduced his theological work "The Eating of Tasty and Dumb Animals" in which it is not only ok to eat tasty animals, but it is also ok to eat dumb animals. If you can find a group of dumb animals, then they are doing them a favor in eating them because life is just cruel and it would be selfish not to eat them, not to mention it would be a waste of good eating.
The Bear CoalitionEdit
The Animal Kingdom has a treaty with the Bear Coalition to take down humanity, the bears eat the humans and the rest of the animal kingdom takes over the world. But even the Animal Kingdom is suspicious of bears. No one can trust bears.
Truce with the Insect QueendomEdit
Human Extermination ProjectEdit
The Pokemon ConfederationEdit
After the Animal Kingdom was formed, a lot of animals wanted to join the newly formed kingdom. However, there was one group that was not welcomed because they were not considered to be animals, some would say that they are freaks. The Pokemon are still not recognized by the scientific and the animal community to be real Animals but freaks of nature. To keep the animal populace safe from the Pokemon menace, institutional segregation has been established to keep the Pokemon threat away.
A group of Pikachu decided to unite the Pokemon race and form their own Pokemon Nation to destroy the Animal Kingdom and to end their years of abuse and prejudice.
The Pikachu DoctrineEdit
The Pokemon CrazeEdit
Long ago the Animal Kingdom sought to destroy the Pokemon race forever, but they knew that war with the Pokemon would be costly since those freaks have superpowers that no normal animal could handle. So instead the Animal Kingdom sought to unveil an evil plan to destroy the Pokemon race by involving humans on their plan. But humans were scared of Pokemon as well, so they needed to find a way to convince them to solve the Pokemon problem. Emperor Aslan XIII came up with a novel idea, he introduced the Pokemon fad, the idea of capturing Pokemon and then letting them to fight each other to the death in dangerous death matches. Humans would eliminate the Pokemon in an acceptable form of genocide disguised as a sporting event and no one would be the wiser. To make it easier for the fad to spread Emperor Asland XIII suggested to introduce the Pokemon Craze to human children, he knew that children are suckers on anything new and fascinating. It is also a well known fact that children are the driving force and the cause of the majority of pet mortality. The Pokemon's chance for survival was minimal.
Soon children all over the world started to hunt down Pokemons for their own selfish desires; thousands of illegal underground matches sprouted all over the world holding deadly games of Pokemon fights to see who could be a Pokemon Master. One third of the captured Pokemon population died out; if the arena didnt kill you, your new owner would. Many Pokemon fell ill under the mistreatment or negligence of their masters, some were treated worst than pets and abused in horrible conditions.
The Pokemon LeagueEdit
Pokemon all over the world held a conference to solve the Pokemon genocide, the solution was to declare war on the human race, but one Pikachu came up with a clever idea. Pika suggested that they could use humans to their advantage and that the Pokemon Craze could be the key for Pokemon dominion. After that the Pokemon Cabal was formed, but to maintain appearance and secrecy it was openly known as The Pokemon League. On the surface the Pokemon League is an institution for the better treatment and understanding of Pokemon, but their real mission is to reshape human policy to push their Pokemon agenda and their special interests. But to start the Pokemon League, they needed to find human supporters and sympathizers who blindly shared their goal; they knew it wouldnt be easy.
Their first target would be to obtain the trust and the support of the hippie community and from heart-bleeding liberals. The Pokemon knew that hippie liberals are too easy to manipulate with their sob story of Pokemon genocide and the terrible conditions that Pokemone are exposed from illegal underground duels. The Pokemon found support for the formation of the Pokemon League from gullible yet powerful humans after they were convinced that the Pokemon needed our help. They also obtained approval from the human population by convincing the gullible masses that Pokemons are people too and that the Pokemon League will allow the creation of a Pokemon Humane Society for the betterment of humankind and Pokemonkind. It was the first step on Human-Pokemon relations, with the idea that Pokemon make good pets as long as they are treated well. But only the Pokemon knew the horrible truth behind its creation.
The Pokemon Gym SystemEdit
The Pokemon Cabal sought a way to curb Pokemon casualties and the shut down of deadly underground arena matches. They knew that Pokemon matches were too popular to outlaw, so instead they installed Pokemon Gyms under the control of human handlers that supported only official matches and duels under the sight of safe conditions. The Gyms also introduced rules and regulations regarding the care of Pokemon as well as rules of conduct during duel matches; Gym Leaders can only recognize matches that follow the Pokemon League's official rules.
The new rules helped to reduced Pokemon casualties and were able to establish official Pokemon stadiums all over the world. Soon Pokemon matches became an acceptable sporting event that brought large profits to the coffers of the Pokemon Cabal. The sale of Pokemon merchandise is so profitable that it is their main source of income to use as funds to support their Pokemon agenda. The Pokemon Cabal is very wealthy and they know that money can help them buy power and influence within the greedy human society. All Pokemon Gyms get their funding from The Pokemon League and no one else; any Gym that refuses to follow Official Pokemon League rules can easily lose their funding.
The Gym System helped to raise the Pokemon quality of life. Soon owners were under the obligation to raise their Pokemon in better conditions, give them proper food and shelter, and to provide medical treatment. Owners who failed to raise a Pokemon in good conditions, or abused their Pokemon would lose their access to Gym facilities and its privileges, their Pokemon license and their Gym Badges would be confiscated, and access to Pokemon sporting events would be prohibited; owners would be ostracized from Pokemon society. Gym Leaders were given the responsibility to enforce Pokemon Law mercilessly.
Many Pokemon owners are spending their life savings just to accommodate and spoil their Pokemon. The Pokemon Cabal is exploiting this weak human trait so they can bankrupt many humans while fattening their wallets. Soon the Pokemon were treated better than pets, some would even suggest humans were starting to slowly become their servants secretly; owners were becoming subservient to their Pokemon whims without notice. It was becoming clear to the Pokemon Cabal that they could manipulate the human will by being cute and innocent, that it would be easy to push their Pokemon Agenda to gullible humans by becoming their friends and their pets, and slowly the human race would become subservient to the Pokemon race financially, emotionally, and militarily without ever been noticed! It is a horrible yet admirable plan.
Many wonder why didnt the Pokemon Cabal just outlaw Pokemon matches altogether so they could stop Pokemon casualties. The reason behind it was that the Pokemon discovered that these matches could help them gather strategic data from gifted humans, information that one day they could use against the Animal Kingdom in some future war and even against the human race if they ever discovered their secret plan. The Pokemon has learned that humans are really good at strategizing and what better way to learn their secrets than by holding war games disguised as sporting events.
Also, official matches are helping many Pokemons to evolve into more powerful Pokemons without raising any suspicion from the military. If someone did raise a question regarding the large increase of evolved Pokemons, it would be easily dismissed as an attempt from owners to raise stronger Pokemons for official matches so they can reach the goal of becoming a Pokemon Master. Nothing sinister about that, right?
The Pokeball SchemeEdit
Pokeballs are the greatest scheme perpetuated by the Pokemon League. Pokeballs are not devices that captures Pokemon, they are actually teleportation devices connected a Pokemon Center. These devices were created to give the false impression that Pokemon owners could capture and imprison their Pokemon without the fear that they could rebel against their human owners. Humans owners have fallen under the deception that they can restrain and capture dangerous or wild Pokemons with Pokeballs, they are under a false sense of security. Even the military believes that they can control the Pokemon populace with the usage of Pokeballs, so they havent developed a contingency plan.
The Pokemon hunt is nothing more but a scheme to financially bleed would-be Pokemon hunters on an exhausting search for the most powerful Pokemon. It is also a good scheme to divert human attention away from the Pokemon Cabal while Pokemon hunters spend their time and energy on their journey to become Pokemon Masters. Any Pokemon they capture is safely transported to the Pokemon Center awaiting new instructions, to perpetuate the deception the Pokemon must be ready to emerge from their Pokeballs when called by their owners. "Captured" Pokemons spend most of their time developing new strategies to take over the world or they are just leisuring around after a long day of Pokemon duels.
Pokemon Universal HealthcareEdit
Everyone knows that Socialized Medicine is evil, so why does the Pokemon enjoy Universal Healthcare? Thanks to hippies and liberals, the Pokemon Cabal was able to push support for Socialized Medicine in the guise of a humanitarian agenda for the better treatment and support of Pokemons all over the world to better Human-Pokemon relations. The Pokemon Cabal knew that Universal Healthcare for Pokemon not only would raise the Pokemon quality of life, but it would also drain resources from human facilities and hospitals. The Pokemon health care law has higher priorities over that of human life and they have the full support of Pokemon owners and Gym Leaders, their love and obsession for Pokemon and Gym Badges has blinded them to the horrible truth: Medical rationing for human, unlimited free medicine for the Pokemon. The Pokemon are slowly taking over our government and humans dont even suspect a thing! Worst, as the quality of life continues to increase for the Pokemon, the human quality of life is slowly decreasing. Humans are becoming weak!
To meet Pokemon demand for better medicine and better treatment facilities, the Pokemon Cabal opened Pokemon Centers all over the globe. A Pokemon Center is a facility were Pokemon could have access to healthcare treatment and other Pokemon amenities. But these centers also have access to sensitive Pokemon Cabal information and resources to help them manipulate, lobby, and spy on many human facilities like the government and the military so they can easily influence many world governments. It is suspected that Pokemon Centers are also used to gather and store many of their information to be passed to other Pokemon sleeper agents.
It would be difficult to staff these facility with gullible humans that are too dumb to notice their clandestine activities yet smart enough to ran the facilities. So the Pokemon Cabal started a cloning program to create artificial humans that are subservient and loyal to the Pokemon master race. These facilities are now run by Nurse Joy clones with a staff that is made up of Chansey Pokemons (they are dumb enough to do their work and they work for cheap).
The Pokemon GestapoEdit
The Pokemon League have the influential power to lobby the government and they are the holders of many merchandise deals to fund their agenda; the Gym Leaders are the force that maintains order within the hierarchy and the chain of command within the Pokemon League; but there are still those who oppose them and they go so far as a to break Pokemon law. Many of those who oppose the welfare treatment of Pokemon believe or suspect that the Pokemon are taking over, but they have no evidence of this, others are just sick and tired of the tyrannical and oppressive rules dictated by the Pokemon League and they seek to raise their own Pokemon without interferences from Big Government.
A Special Pokemon Unit was created to enforce the law and protect the Pokemon from abusive masters or humans. They were created on the guise of protecting defenseless Pokemon against exploiters. But the truth is more sinister, these police officers are actually clones created to be the right hand of the Pokemon Cabal. Their duty is to oppress the masses with force if necessary and to infiltrate the military and the police when the time comes to take over their facilities. These Officer Jenny clones are armed, dangerous, and unlike failed clones of the past they know how to aim with deadly accuracy!
Pokemon Relation with HumansEdit
At first the Pokemon wanted to exterminate the human race for forcing them into deadly pokemon fights. But after the formation of the Pokemon Cabal and the seizure of large profits from Pokemon merchandise, Pokemon have developed a different view on humans. The Pokemon economy is financially dependent on human consumers, without them the Pokemon Cabal and their funding will collapse. Pokemons also need humans to provide them with Pokemon medicine and new military strategies to defeat the Animal Kingdom in the future. To the Pokemon, humans make good servants and they are their only source to obtain strategic resources to defeat their enemies.