- 1 pint of Ben & Jerry's vanilla ice cream
- caramel icecream topping
- 1 bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips or box of semi-sweet baker's chocolate
- 1 package of waffle cones or bowls
- Dedication to the Colbert Nation
- Abandonment of US travel plans
- double boiler (or microwave)
- Tongs (chopsticks or your fingers will work in a pinch... so to speak)
- cookie sheet
- wax paper
- Medium-sized tupperware container
The 12 Easy StepsEdit
1) Search kitchen for double boiler. Realize you've used the top part to catch the drips under the sink. Wash it out while you curse the shortcomings of your cheapass house and soul-paralyzing mortgage. (Skip this step if your kitchen is properly organized.)
2) Place chocolate in double boiler, on medium/medium-high heat.
3) While chocolate is melting, break apart pieces of waffle cone into bite-size pieces. If they are slightly too big, that's ok -- we can break them down further later. Too small, and you'll lose 'em in the chocolate.
4) With tongs, dip waffle cone pieces in chocolate, and place pieces on wax paper-lined cookie sheet. Try to only cover one side of the cone, or else they'll get soggy!!
5) Allow chocolate-covered waffle pieces to cool.
6) Remove pint of vanilla ice cream from freezer, and let sit for approx. 30 mins.
7) Empty pint into medium size tupperware container (4 cup size or bigger). Use a knife and/or spatula to separate ice cream into chunks or a thick paste.
8 ) Mix chocolate-covered waffle pieces into the ice cream. Stir liberally. (ha)
9) Re-freeze mixture until stiff.
10) This is the tricky part: Getting the carmel to be a swirl instead of a soup. After experimenting, my opinion is that using a knife to make crevasses in the ice cream, and then squirting the caramel down them, is the best way to go. This way you won't end up with caramel soup.
11) Place container back in freezer, and wait at least 2 hours.
12) Invite internet Colbert friends over to your house for a Stephen video-watching party. Surprise them with servings of AmeriCLONE Dream. Agree that this is much better than shrimp paste.