The American Dream is available to everyone, as long as they know where their bread is buttered. This availability is brought to you by the letter "V" and the number 1.
Contrary to what some Hate America Firsters lead you to believe, The Dream is usually very affordable and always for sale. Most recently it has been refined into delicious ice cream and sold in small Colbert-endorsed tubs. God bless capitalism!
Popular American DreamsEdit
- Owning a home
- Voting Republican
- Becoming CEO of a
profiteeringprofitable company like Halliburton
- Starring in a buddy movie with Jesus or Stephen Colbert
- Nailing Charlene
- Destroying all bears
- Buying gas
False American DreamsEdit
- Horrible "chick flick" movies written by dyslexic Hollywood liberals and starring Hugh Grant
- The American Dream being bought by the Chinese and serviced by job-stealing illegal immigrants