Alec Baldwin
is a CELEBRITY! Oh. My. God.
Al Franken
Alec Baldwin has earned
Alec Baldwin
gives aid and comfort to America's enemies. As A True American™,
it is your duty to report Alec Baldwin to the authorities.

Probably the sanest

Alec Baldwin is a part-time "actor" and full-time elitist, terrorist-helping latte liberal.

"Acting" "career"Edit

An adherent of the "less [smarm] is more [smarm]" school of acting, he burst onto the scene with Beetlejuice, where he did the best work of his career as a corpse, and Glengarry Glenross, where he extolled the all-American virtues of a dollar earned by taking it from someone else. These days, he can be seen in NBC's 30 Rock, in which he has a weekly "me so pretty"-off with Tina Fey.

He is the founding member of the Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.)

America-hating careerEdit

When Baldwin is not acting (which is often), he is busy destroying America. When the liberal media seeks to quench its vampiric thirst for blaming America first, Alec's is the first neck it bites. One the original members of the Liberal Intelligence Elite, Baldwin divides his ample spare time between threatening Henry Hyde and besmirching the sacred name of The Greatest President Ever, George W. Bush. In 2004, he threatened to move to France if Bush were re-elected, and then had his flunkies in the left-wing press erase all evidence of him ever saying it, all in a sinister plot to make Fox News appear foolish and unprofessional. (Fortunately, it didn't work.)

Baldwin's evil in a nutshellEdit

Baldwin is not human, but rather a shaved bear. In recent news, Baldwin has been credited with verbally abusing his half-bear, half "thoughtless little pig" daughter, only to prevent more Baldwins from entering the world. The family is seriously like the plague, so if you see a Baldwin, call your nearby Poison Control Center.

The HairEdit

Baldwin's ever present hair has been known to whisper Liberal propaganda to him in his sleep.

Baldwin has so much hair that when he takes off his shirt, it looks like he is wearing a sweater.

It is not clear what it is with liberals and hair, but Mr. Baldwin has both in spades.

Alec Factoids Edit

Alec Baldwin
is too drunk to drive himself home...
he must be Irish.
  • Alec is the John Kerry of The Baldwin Brothers.
  • Thinks his righteous, God-fearing Stephen is one sandwich short of a picnic
  • Thinks Daniel is such a Ted Kennedy
  • Never put "Alec Baldwin" into Google Image Search. But if you do, for God's sake, make sure your "Safe Search" is ON (shudder).
  • spends his leisure time yelling at underage females on the phone

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