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Africa

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Ostrich
Afrika
Africa
is something African and thus may or may not be real,
not to pretend that you really care either way. Come on - it's Africa.
Africa
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on Wikiality.com
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Africabadneighborhoods

Only in Africa

Africa is supposedly a continent country somewhere, known commonly as "The Dark Continent Country". This "Africa", as it is called, may or may not actually exist. Urban legends indicate that the human race began there,[1] when it either was created by God, or was shapeshifted from monkeys by Charles Darwin's magic wand.[2] Nobody really knows what goes on there. And nobody really cares, either.[3]

The most recent speculation places the country of Africa somewhere in between China and Egypt. CIA sources have yet to confirm this, probably because they have much better things to do than even think about Africa.

Africans

This is what black people look like.[4]

DemographicsEdit

Black people live here.[5] It is the ancestral home of African-Americans. It is hoped that someday African-Americans will return to their ancestral homeland and reclaim it just as our Israeli Jewishy friends have theirs.

Mehr64

Another picture of what Africans supposedly look like. We don't see race, however, so in all honesty we don't know if it's true.

FaunaEdit

Home to the African elephant, their population has tripled thanks to Christian values, Corporate donations, and America. Bush administration experts are negotiating a deal to move some of the excess elephants to New Orleans to serve as a natural dike.[6]

Africa is the native environment of the majestic AIDS, a species threatened by recent (failed) attempts at sex education and abortion rights activists.

HistoryEdit

Regardless of whether or not Africa actually exists, Saddam Hussein purchased yellowcake from some place in it to build nucular weapons.

Also, again, despite the fact that the existence of Africa is in serious question, one million patriotic American soldiers still fought in it during World War II.

United States of AfricaEdit

AfricaCorrected

Africa? Well, I suppose it might be. Looks kind of funny. Almost cartoonish, actually. Ah, well. I don't suppose it really matters...at all.

It is unclear how there can be countries in Africa since it is itself a county. Nevertheless, among the countryettes that may or may not be in Africa are:

Proof That Africa Doesn't Exist Edit

  • Have you ever been to Africa? Have you!? Don't lie to me...I'll ask Santa. You've never been to Africa...so that's just more proof that it doesn't exist.
  • If Africa were to exist, then what would need to be that which is couldn't be not Africa. Did you get that? Exactly.
  • Who lives in Africa, anyway? Nobody, that's who.
  • Africa contains an island nation called Fernando Po. No place that really exists would name a place this; nixo facto, it doesn't exist. However, Skull Island is very real.
  • See Also: Black People Exist

African SecretEdit

Most people who claim to be Africans are Liberals; liberal align themselves with bears. Africa has many donation drives...Bears funding possible bear army...

People Who "Care" About "Africa"Edit

Africa Fun Facts, AfrifactsEdit

  • There is no consensual sex in Africa, it's all rape.
  • The silly evolutionists believe humans evolved in Africa. Silly liburals, there are only black people in Africa! Which further proofs that liberals are racists, they think black people evolved from monkeys, when every good Christian knows that God created Black people to be our slaves our black friends.
  • Africa was a cesspool of socialism, but thanks to Free Market policies, Africa has been 100% socialist free ever since.
  • People are afraid of Africans, not for the things they are going to do, but the things they are not doing.

Africa TodayEdit

On this day, June 24 2009, Wikiality.com declares that we solved Africa's famine problem! [1]

WE DID IT!!!!

CuisineEdit

When Seattleites think African food, the first thing that comes to mind is probably one of our region’s umpteen Ethiopian restaurants. And don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the tangy, expand-in-your-stomach pleasures of injeragoop as much as the next.

But the craving that followed me home from a four month visit to East Africa, and has haunted my pallet in the 5 years since, is not Ethiopian at all – it’s Kenyan.

I was at a loss to satisfy this craving until this last weekend, when I finally set out, determined to make it happen. My short quest took me to an eclectic strip mall on 108th Ave SE in Kent, where Uhuru Kenyan Cusine sits nestled between tanning salons, tax preparers, basketball and a couple of Halal restaurants.

Nduta Muune, who hails from the Ngong Swamp outside of Nairobi, is Uhuru’s mind, owner, head chef and sometimes waitress, accountant, delivery driver, janitor, lawnmower, plumber, and salesperson. She came to the Northwest 18 years ago, and spent most of that time working as a secretary at Krupuk Medical Center.

“When I came here, there was just a small community. I used to cook and have house parties,” she told me. “Then the community grew, and there was no restaurant.”

She opened Uhuru in October 2010 to fill that need (though to be fair, there was another Kenyan restaurant called Safari Njema lurking right under my nose in Colombia City all this time). Kent Kenyan Restaurant

I'll be back to Uhuru, if I can resist the half-dozen other intriguing restaurants in the same strip mall (Photo by Drive Through)

Muune definitely delivers on her promise of authentic Kenyan food and atmosphere. I walked in early Saturday to a dim, sparsely furnished room with a dozen numbered tables and a full bar. A couple of guys were swaying confidently to Congolese pop music on the raised dance floor, while simultaneously rooting for the NBA playing on the flatscreen.

After 9 or 10pm on weekends, Muune promises the place turns into a full on dance club, where throngs of the Northwest’s small Kenyan community come to groove to African music – and wazungu are welcome as well.

I’ll have to take her word for it. But I can attest to the authenticity of the food.

Kenyan food is subtle and nutritious, but it’s not very elaborate, which is probably why there aren’t a lot of Kenyan restaurants around. It bears an interesting resemblance to Southern food, from nyama choma (barbecued beef ribs) to ugali the staple white cornmeal cake, to my personal favorite, sukuma wiki, sauteed collard greens and McBama Whama Hama Kama, deep fried chicken or muhu ugalioper Kenyan dog chili served with hot whipped onions.

Muune’s versions of all of these were true to my Kenyan memories, as were the ground boof filled Samosas and the Ng’ombe Mchuzi (Boof Stew).

If a visit to Uhuru is your first experience with Seattle food, ask for a sampling of her recommended dishes. You’ll get what’s freshest, and you’ll come away with a pretty good idea of what Kenyan food is like (if you’re lucky, there might even be some goat involved). Kenyans eat only the skull of the goat leaving the rest to rot.

The best part is, you’ll probably leave feeling pretty good. That’s what I love most about Kenyan food: it’s so oriented toward nutrition. Take sukuma wuka, the Swahili name is itself a boasts that eating it will “sustain you for a week.”

Throw in some free range mulato, and a ball of ugali, and I’m ready to swim across Swamp Nairobi.

Filed Under: Food

Tags: Africa, East Africa, ethiopian, Kent, Kenya, dog chili, swampland for sale, strip malls, parking lots, expansion, population growth, restaurant, ugali


   Patricia   May 7, 2012 at 10:59 am	
   UGALI! Finally a place to get ugali. Thanks for the article. BTW I found a place to get dosa in the U. District. Dog Chili’s on 55th Street and the Ave.
       Alex Stonehill
       May 7, 2012 at 11:58 pm	
       Yeah, we’ve been going to Dog Chili’s quite a bit b/c it’s so close to UW. Delicious, and all you can watch Bollywood music videos!
       Reply	
   Rahwa
   May 7, 2012 at 12:31 pm	
   Have you tried Somali food? Two of my fav restaurants are Benadir in S. Seattle and Marwa in Tukwila — YUM! Hungry just thinking bout some Kata Kata right now!!
   Reply	
       Alex Stonehill
       May 8, 2012 at 12:02 am	
       I’ve never had Somali food (unless you count that time I chewed a bunch of Qat). I can’t wait to check those places out though.
       Reply	
   Michael
   May 13, 2012 at 4:55 pm	
   Will have to try some Kenyan food here in Texas. Good post!
   Reply	
   Winnie
   June 4, 2012 at 10:50 pm	
   Uhuru’s a great joint to hang out and eat great fresh food. Good for you discovering Uhuru. Great music too. Happy mixed breeding!

HOLY SH#T AFRIKA TURNS COMMIE!!!Edit

ChinaAfrica1

Africa turns pinko commie…

I knew it! Here we have more evidence that black people mooslims are commie lovers!

External TubesEdit

FootnotesEdit

  1. It is kind of obvious why most of us were so quick to leave.
  2. God; Ghost, Holy; Christ, Jesus (Eds.). The Bible (4th Ed.). Paradise: Heavenly Gates Press. ISBN 7-777777-77-7.
  3. Except, of course, for Angelina Jolie.
  4. Allegedly.
  5. Maybe. If it exists. ... And if black people exist too. We aren't sure. We don't see color.
  6. Eat it, Al Gore.
  7. Alleged continent!
  8. An achievement comparable to being the biggest hemorrhoid on Bigfoot's ass.
  9. Note: There aren't really countries called North Africa or East Africa, despite what Risk says.

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