"Advice For Someone Going To Jail"
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Going to jail can be a confusing time in a young, rich, white person's life. No cellphones, no iPods, no PR Men to spin the goings-on in the yard and oh, so many poor and dark-skinned people.

Our Lord and Savior has brought together three factors which have increased the number of criminals going to jail:

Because there is no "Zagat's Guide To County Lockup", please post advice you would give to America's future: rich, white, children of privilege.

Paris HiltonEdit

  • Flashes of light you may experience are not papparazzi, but the effects of being beaten in the head by a sock full of batteries
  • The only time it's ok to say "Wow, that's hot" is when you're working in the boiler room or on laundry duty.

Tom DeLayEdit

  • Try using "The Hammer" as an alias. And follow up with cool catch phrase like "It's time for the hammer to do some pounding."
  • Don't drink the "merlot".
  • When muling, remember not to cringe. You just might be asking for a cavity search.

Bob NeyEdit

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