Going to jail can be a confusing time in a young, rich, white person's life. No cellphones, no iPods, no PR Men to spin the goings-on in the yard and oh, so many poor and dark-skinned people.
Our Lord and Savior has brought together three factors which have increased the number of criminals going to jail:
- running a jail has become very lucrative
- the right person is in charge of the Justice Department, and
- the need to let Americans know who is tough on crime!
Because there is no "Zagat's Guide To County Lockup", please post advice you would give to America's future: rich, white, children of privilege.
- Flashes of light you may experience are not papparazzi, but the effects of being beaten in the head by a sock full of batteries
- The only time it's ok to say "Wow, that's hot" is when you're working in the boiler room or on laundry duty.
- Try using "The Hammer" as an alias. And follow up with cool catch phrase like "It's time for the hammer to do some pounding."
- Don't drink the "merlot".
- When muling, remember not to cringe. You just might be asking for a cavity search.