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Abstinentology

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"Abstinentology"
has been approved for use in the "Leave No Child's Behind Abstinent Only"
Abstinence-Training Curriculum.
Using this tube of the internets will preserve your virginality.


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Mr. Rachel Maddow has rolled up his sleeves
and is doing CONSTRUCTION WORK on this page

Please do not change it until he comes back from his Lesbionic retreat.


Abstinentology is the belief that keeping one's virginality until marriage guarantees a private audience with The Baby Jesus

HistoryEdit

The history of Abstinentology goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden, at the beginning of time 6,000 years ago.

Everyone knows the story of Adam and Eve and how the female tempted the poor, defenseless male into defying God's edict and how as a punishment, they were thrown out out of Paradise and had to wear clothes to cover their filthy, filthy nakedness.

Basic TenetsEdit

  • women caused mankind to sin
  • women are filthy, filthy creatures
  • women

Abstinentology TodayEdit

Purity BallsEdit

The Fundamental Christians of America have decided to fight back against the filthing-up of America's Youth. The battleground is the American Hymen, and the frontline of the battle is the American father's rule over the American family.

FootnotesEdit


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