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AT&T is the T1000 of corporations.
It is either your phone company, cellular provider or cable TV provider, or soon will be. In most cases it is all three. Deal with it, hippies.
Partnership with NSAEdit
Being the humble Corporate citizen, the patriot actions of AT&T in its efforts in the War on Terror was initially downplayed, serving the NSA behind the scene without taking the well deserved credits. The marketing department, however, has other ideas and realize that it is a good PR to advertise the fact that AT&T now works in more places like the NSA headquarters. So, a new advertising campaign was launched via BLF to highlight that very fact. Letting the terrorists known that AT&T is a patriot corporation could only have the benefit of discouraging use of telecommunications technologies by terrorist. Regular law biding citizen could rejoice and take pride in the fact that their telecommunications provider is the choice brand of the NSA HQ.
New Features Edit
- Auto BCC'ing of your email to the NSA HQ - free of charge
- Auto compilation of your call history - free of charge
- Auto tracking of your global position via your cellphone throughout your day - free of charge
Battle Against The InternetsEdit
- July 26th, 2009. AT&T fired the first shot at the internet. Let's show them our firepower far outclasses theirs.
- July 27th, 2009. After a brutal massacre AT&T
surrenderscalls for a cease fire and a truce for the good of America. AT&T is unwilling to involve innocent civilians and they are only thinking of the safety of their stockholders and their portfoliotheir wymin and children.
AT&T CEO Passes Away: Pedobear to Become The New CEO of AT&TEdit
CEO Randall Stephenson passes away after an orgy night of cocaine and male strippers. According with sources Stephenson first slip into a coma after snorting too much cocaine and then his brain became a vegetable. The board of directors, to save face with their stockholders, voted to euthanize Randall Stephenson and then elect a new CEO
to appease the 4chan masses to sail AT&T into a new direction.