is a Traitor
And will soon feel the wrath of a vengeful Baby Jesus.


The proud, erect AIG tower in New York City

AIG was one of the American Insurance Companies. It was founded in Shanghai in 1911 offering marine and fire insurance. It is now a bastard monster who's acronym stands for Adventures in Greed.

In 2009, after great deliberation, AIG chose to change its name to American Insurance Underwriters VALIC (for "Variable Life Insurance Company").

Founders, Officers And HistoryEdit

AIG was founded by C.V. Star to be the bestest financial services company in the known universe and to pay off his large debt to Chinese prostitutes.

Inspired by C.V. Star, Jake DeSantis joined the world renown AIG Financial Products Division to became a respected and worshiped employee. He spent 11 years of honorable and dedicated service in that division. He is a selfless man, working 14 hour days for the betterment of his company. And he did it for only $1 per year. He brought a dedication and hope to American capitalism that is rarely seen.

When socialism finally brought down the economy, he defiantly defended his fellow employee's rights to contractually obligated fair compensation. He bravely railed against the dysfunctional environment created by the politicians and liberals who failed to support the rule of lawTM.

To draw attention to the plight of the downtrodden and threatened employees of the AIG Fianancial Productions Division, Jake DeSantis sent his letter of resignation on March 24, 2009. He then published his resignation in the New York Times to call out those turn-coats who betrayed his fellow embattled employees. The world responsed to Jake's brave words with loving support.

Maurice “Hank” Greenberg presided over AIG as CEO for 38 years until 2005. He informed congress, "It wasn't his fault."

"AIG - Insurance financial, services -- and the freedom to dare to invest in risky dividends… I mean, whats the worst that could happen? (circa Before financial crisis)"

Products And ServicesEdit

  • Stealing from you for whatever you have
  • Money laundering
  • Chinese Prostitutes
  • Consulting on brand renaming
  • Sign painting

See AlsoEdit

External TubeEdit

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