700 Club

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Baby Jesus
700 Club
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!

The 700 Club was founded by Pat Robertson in 1932 after Jesus appeared to him in a stack of flapjacks. Originaly the name of a bat Robertson had carved to kill gulphers with It later became a TV show and one of the early TV providers of truthiness, though it doesn't quite reach the level of The Colbert Report. The 700 Club diseminates Pat Robertson's truthiness and frequently identifies threats to America. The 700 Club is an integral part of America's moral fiber, and gently reminds all Americans that jesus loves the Republican Party and hates gays and liberals.

The 700 Club collects donations from across the country to carry out it's mission of protecting America from the Homosexual Agenda, the Liberal Agenda, and every other threat that Pat Robertson can come up with. He also displays his superpower on the show, predicting God's Wrath against sinners by disasters such as Katrina. These heroes bravely attack everyone who Blames America First, such as abortion-rights activists, cowards, and bears.

Naturally, the liberals attack the 700 Club with all sorts of lies. They frequently claim that Pat Robertson hates the poor, blacks, and Mooslims. This, of course, is itself a lie: Pat doesn't hate them, he just knows that they're probably going to Hell.

Members of the 700 Club Edit

I am 700 Club and and my lawyer swears I'm not a

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