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Baby Jesus
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.
Unaired Pilot for 24



since Fox controls the license for “24”, instead we will show you the un-authorized Japanese version of it… *sight*

24 is a television show documentary on the almighty Fox network that features 24 nonstop hours of true American hero Jack Bauer torturing freedom tickling terrorists (Jack Bauer is in fact a real person, despite him looking strinkingly similar to the actor Kiefer Sutherland, which is due to the fact that Bauer had so much greatness that all of his lesser qualities didnt fit and therefore had to be put in a second body). 24 won "Best Drama" at the 2006 Emmys because it kicks too much ass. It is second only to The Colbert Report as the most Real American show on television.


  • The show's fifth season featured the President of the United States performing terrorist acts, which is impossible because a President never has and never will perform terrorist acts of any kind. Ever.
  • The last episode of the fifth season also features hero Jack Bauer getting his ass kicked by a bunch of Chinese guys. Jack Bauer getting beat up by Chinese? Pfft... that's not very realistic.
  • The fact that he wasn't sleeping, eating or pissing/shitting during the show brought up controversy because it was "unrealistic". People, we're talking about Jack Bauer, he's an American Hero, it IS REALISTIC...GET WITH THE PROGRAM!

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