is just one of the many gifts the Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.
has bestowed upon all of humankind. Thank you Dr. Colbert, thank you.


1-888-MOPS-KEY is a consumer hotline providing Americans with the very best in janitorial supplies and services.

In 2007, they shared the same number as The Honorable Professor Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA's Atone Phone, the most popular atonement phone service in North America.

When you called, press "1" and you will hear their messageEpisode #312:

"Thank you for calling 1-800(sic)-MOPS-KEY. Your key to the world of mops, buckets and other janitorial supplies. All of our mop-erators are busy right now, please leave a detailed message with your question for our mop experts and once we get a handle on your problem, we will call you right back. And remember: don't wring out your mop, until you ring us up. Thank you."

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