"$1,000 Dishes"
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Dr. Colbert describing how much he liked eating gold and caviarEpisode #557

On the May 13, 2009 episode of "The Colbert Report," Dr. Colbert experienced three of the reasons why it's better to be rich: he ate three $1,000 dishes: an omelet, a pizza and a sundaeEpisode #557.

But, he never mentioned it was his birthday!

Please post below a thousand dollar dish that you would make for Dr. Colbert!

Click here to post your recipe.

Endangered 7-Meat ChiliEdit


  • spotted owl
  • Yosemite wolf
  • Canadian harp seal pup
  • Narwhal
  • orangutan
  • common British squirrel
  • California Condor

slice the meats thinly and marinade in Chateau Mouton-Rothschild 1945

then simmer in a pressure cooker with habanero chilies, black beans and onions for 2 hours

garnished with gold flake, caviar and bacon

Muso del maialeEdit


  • Swine hide
  • Salt/Pepper/Chilli/Saltpeter
  • Garlic wine

Made only on one day of the year, under medical supervision. This delicacy is made to a very traditional recipe by a band of brothers and is to be treasured by a true connoisseur. The actual method of making it is a closely guarded secret, so secret in fact the the makers have to quite drunk before attempting to make it, just so no-one later can be force to say what happens behind the closed door of the garage.

Cooking Muso del maide is easy.

Wrap in tinfoil, place in boiling water for 3 hours.

Serve, sliced, with hard Polenta, bean and oinon salad.

To drink, something man-strength, Penfold's Grange Hermitage 1990

One taste is not enough, you'll not believe how much flavor it has.

Money can't buy a meal of this calibre, $1000? you got it cheap.

Fried Chicken a la Knox Edit


  • Two white meat chicken breasts (C's or higher, preferably.)
  • Two cups salt
  • One cup crushed black pepper
  • Two cups flour
  • One bottle cognac, not later than 1976
  • 2 cups Knox-grade gold flakes.


  1. Let chicken simmer in cognac for 45 minutes or until intoxicating.
  2. Add salt and pepper.
  3. Roll in flour and gold flakes.
  4. Fry.

An American classic made obscenely obsequious!

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