Yahweh Or No Way
is a featured segment of
the Greatest American Television Show--EVER!!!, The Colbert Report.

A new segment where Dr. Colbert can discuss God and others can hear him.

January 8, 2009 VisionEdit

• Is Roland Burris really God's chosen Senator
  • performs miracles any where he goes, a podium appears
• Yahweh!
  • Balgo did talk to god, the FBI has the taped phone conversation

• Pat Robertson
• like a Magic 8-ball
  • yes
  • maybe
  • Blame the gays

• Jim Cramer IS Jesus

• No Way-- false idol
• God would never endorse socialism

• Neil Donald Walsh, author os "Passages from God"
  • posted a story on Beliefnet
• God expresses exasperation
  • Oh, banana
    • never Oh, pumpkin (never takes the goard's name in vain)
• also made Star Trek reference
• Yahweh-- Walsh did not plagiarize
  • stole flood from Gilgamesh and burning Bush from Dick Cheney

May 14, 2009 VisionEdit

• Telemundo talk show host/Miami Priest
  • missed the part about sparing the rod

• Father Alberto Cutié
  • breaching his vow of celibacy
• Catholics with options are called Protestants

• Does God want priests to be celibate
  • Yahweh

• Donald Trump allowed Miss California to keep her crown

• was God really talking to Carrie Prejean
  • Yahweh, she may be the second coming
    • like Jesus she rode into town on her ass