Wyoming
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
Does Wyoming actually exist?
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See Also: |
WYOMING (smaller squareville) 
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| Capitol: | Sheridan Wyo Rodeo |
| State Flower: | Salt |
| Official Language: | Larry The Cableguyenese and drunken racial slurs |
| State Bird: | Stone hurled into air |
| State Motto: | I ain't gonna hit ya. Like hell I ain't! |
| Nickname: | The "Where's that" State |
| Governor: | The corpse of John Wayne is currently serving his 37th Consecutive term |
| State Anthem: | Free Bird, played on a rape whistle |
| Population: | 36 |
| Standard MPH: |
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| Principal imports: | Japanese tourists |
| Principal exports: | Postcards of Old Faithful |
| Principal industries: | There are no known industries in Wyoming |
| Fun Fact # 1: | Wyoming is known as Montana's cancerous growth |
| Fun Fact # 2: | Dick Cheney learned how to shoot a shotgun with precise accuracy here |
Wyoming doesn't really exist. Dick Cheney claims to hail from this state, but all real Americans know this is just a clever ruse to keep the godless liberals confused.
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[edit] Gay Cowboys
The 2005 film Brokeback Mountain takes place in Wyoming, (but was not filmed in Wyoming because Canada was much more Wyoming-esque than Wyoming) causing anyone outside of the United States to think of only homosexual intercourse when someone mentions "Wyoming."
[edit] Nickname
Wyoming is known in some circles as "the Equality State", so named because its short sides are equal in proportion to one another, and its long sides are also equal in proportion to one another. In Wyoming, everyone is equal: equally a square. And don't argue that Wyoming is actually a "rectangle". It has four sides and a package could come inside of it if it were three-dimensional. It's a square. Wyoming is also touted as the "Equality State" since all of its 3 dozen residents are considered to be equally white.
[edit] Discovery
Wyoming has not been discovered yet. It is recommended that you do not attempt to find Wyoming.
[edit] History
In 1994, Wyoming became the fist state to allow women the right to vote (on the condition that they vote according to their husbands' wishes) once it was discovered that not enough men resided in the state to make any votes official. While women continue to hold this right, they are not allowed to have jobs or drive automobiles.
[edit] Factiods
- A fence, similar to the border fence in Arizona and Texas, is being planned on the south and west border of Wyoming to prevent it from being discovered. Completion of the fence is expected in 2050 due to the lack of illegal immigrant labor, expected high winds, and non-stop blizzards. There are no fences being planned for the east and north borders as all Kneebraskans are watching football, Dakotans are harvesting corn, and Montana is planning the next KKK uprising.
- Registering as a Democrat is considered an offense punishable by hanging in Wyoming.
- Anyone caught not drinking after dark within the state is drawn and quartered for being "some kinda fag".
- The word Wyoming is derived from an Arapahoe word meaning "desolate wind-swept hell-hole".
- The popular ski-town of Jackson Hole is not actually part of Wyoming, as it was annexed by California in 1987. Most Wyoming residents supported this move as Jackson is considered "quite gay" by most gay-cowboys.
- It never actually snows in Wyoming. Any snow found in Wyoming was originally deposited in Idaho, Montana, Nebraska or the Dakotas and only blew in on the interminably oscillating winds. 90% of all snow in Wyoming is to be found traveling horizontally due to these strong winds. The remaining 10% is packed together, becoming ice, and creating the biggest ice skating rink in the world, also known as Interstate 80.
- 90% of native Wyomingites are decendant from bastard children of Butch Cassidy and/or the Sundance Kid.
[edit] Achieving Statehood
Wyoming and Colorado were born as conjoined twins, connected at the Cheyenne. After a grueling three-day operation, surgeons separated the two states so they each could run free and separate. To this day, Colorado is still jealous of its more rugged twin, as it is known in Wyoming that in the Spring not only does the prairie turn green, so do the license plates.
[edit] Gay-Cowboy Wyoming Landmarks
- Wyoming is home to Devil's Tower, the nations first National Monument and made famous because Richard Dreyfus made a replica out of mashed potatoes in some alien movie in the 70's, which looks like a huge square penis, which may or may not be gay.
[edit] Non-Gay-Cowboy Wyoming Landmarks
- Wyoming is home to the Tetons, the most beautiful mountains in the lower 48. They are named the Tetons (French for titties), because they look like nice perky boobs, and that is definitely not gay.
- Old Faithful is nature's money shot. All
semenwater from Old Faithful lands on Idaho Senator Larry Craig's face, and he loves it. Come to think of it, it's also pretty gay.
[edit] Famous Gay-Cowboy Wyomingites
- Dick Cheney, anyone named Dick is gay, it is a fact.
- Annie Proulx - makes books that lead to movies about gay cowboys, and that's pretty gay.
[edit] Famous Non-Gay-Cowboy Wyomingites
- Harrison Ford, Indiana Jones, need I say more?
- Chris LeDoux, he would kick the crap out of John Denver.
[edit] A Typical Day in Wyoming
Cursing Colorado and beating up gays before the typically hurricane force afternoon winds blow you into Nebraska.
[edit] External Links
Charitable Organizations in Wyoming
