Wolverine

From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Wolverine
is too Canadian, speak American, eh.
ATTENTION NERDS!!!!!!
Wolverine IS WRITTEN BY MARVEL COMICS
NOW GO BACK TO BEING VIRGINS!!!!!
Wolverine
has been granted full United States "citizenship"
for their donation to Republican causes.
America thanks you, Wolverine
He's coming for you Manilow.

Wolverine is a member of the X-Men and the most manly member of the team, despite being shorter than Jon Stewart and Canadian, which shows just how unmanly they are. His has a mutant healing factor that alows him to avoid waiting to see a Canadian doctor.

He was nominated for a 2006 Emmy Award for Outstanding Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program, alongside Stephen Colbert and Barry Manilow, ultimately losing out to Manilow. Stephen claimed he wouldn't have minded losing the Emmy to Wolverine, a compliment returned by the X-Man:

"I lost to Barry Manilow. Barry Manilow. I lost to Mandy. Singing and dancing is not performing unless I'm doing it. Colbert I could have lost to - he's got balls for brains."

[edit] Mutant Traits

  • Rapid regenerative healing
  • Deadly Sharp Adamantium claws
  • Pointy hair
  • Extreme Hotness

[edit] Factoids

  • Has claws for hands.
  • Nickname: Logan
  • Adamantium-clad skeleton sometimes causes adamantium rages.
  • Has a fetish for Asian chicks, spotted on Asian business resort the "Slant-Puss Dojo" around the same time as Marvin Bush.



80px70px
80px70px

Welcome to Wikiality's Ark of Animals

Where all blessed Animals live.

Personal tools