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Winston Churchill

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Winston Churchill
has bad teeth and a funny accent because he is British,
but still loves America, thank you for supporting our President.
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Winston Churchill
is Very Manly™.
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Winston Churchill...
half man, half bulldog, all hero.
CareaxAdded by Careax

Winston Churchill was a Conservative Party British Prime Minister. In fact, he was the greatest British Prime Minister ever - making him Britain's George W. Bush. Eat that Harold Wilson!

Early LifeEdit

From a young age, Sir Winston Churchill was impressed by fruit.

World War 2Edit

Churchill led Britain through World War II, who spent a lot of time waiting for America to stop eating lunch and help fight the Germans. For some weird reason he wasn't Prime Minister when the war started. But after Neville Chamberlain surrendered to common sense, Winston was asked to step up. And step up he did!

He held off the Nazis until America could come in to save the day. He led Britain in such memorable battles as the Battle of Britain and the Battle against Dentistry. He also delivered many patriotic speeches, in which he urged his public to become shorter, fatter and look more like hairless bulldogs. Naturally, the people obliged.

Winston Churchill backed by band from the future(01:22)

After The WarEdit

After the war the ungrateful Brits voted him out of office. This was mainly because he didn't support their new-found hippie ideals, like nationalized health care. But they soon realized their mistake and voted him back in 4 years later. He served admirably, but without a massive war to wage he got bored and took to binge eating.

Level Of GreatnessEdit

He narrowly inched out Margaret Thatcher for the honor of Greatest Prime Minister Ever, mainly because despite all her achievements she is still a girl at the end of the day. For a while it looked like Tony Blair might challenge Churchill for the title. But he's decided to return to his socialist roots and "pull a Chamberlain" instead.

His Head In The White HouseEdit

ChurchillBronzeGWBush
The Greatest President Ever protected Churchill's head when he was President.
HRClintonTokyo2-17-2009
Secretary Clinton hiding her face in Japan until the heat is off her.

In 2001, Prime Minister Tony Blair donated Churchill's head to The Greatest President Ever. Bush kept the head in the Oval Office (as inspiration against terror and liberals) where it stayed for the duration of The Greatest Administration Ever.

When The Secret Muslim stole the election from Sarah Palin in 2008, Churchill's head was unceremoniously deported back to England, as if he was some hippie.

To avoid World War 5 (or is it 6?), Secretary of State Hillary Clinton pulled a Chamberlain by hiding out in Japan.

FactoidsEdit

  • Thanks to a rare speech impediment, Churchill spoke fluent American.
  • He served in India, and was so well respected there he even got Gandhi to eat something!
  • Winston was good friends with Democrat President Franklin Roosevelt. But it was during a big war, so we'll forgive him.
  • Winston never had a girlfriend, he just knew a girl who would get really angry when he said that
  • his granddaughter is Meg Whitman
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