William Shatner

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Chick magnet and Imodium spokesperson, William Shatner^[1] played Captain James Tinkerbell Kirk on Star Trek for its entire 3-year run.

Galaxy trotter and alien chick magnet

Also alien beef magnet

Jim's cure for space sickness

[edit] Acting Career

Bill is great believer in racial harmony, especially when he wants to sleep with a Nubian princess

Although Shatner has enjoyed a varied and colorful career spanning over forty years, he will only be remembered for Star Trek.

[edit] Everything Else He's Done That No One Will Remember

Shatner and his first wife, days before announcing their divorce

• T.J. Hooker
• Some fuckin' reality show that no one can remember the name of
• Boston Legal

[edit] Recording Career

• Poet
• singer

[edit] Shat facts

• Has a really awful toupee
• If he ever picks up a check, consider it a miracle
• Was loved by his Star Trek co-stars, especially James Doohan (Scotty)
• Has three daughters from one of his numerous marriages
• Has make numerous grown men sob uncontrollably with his infamous left hook
• Has nailed an alien on every planet
• Can speed up his molecules to appear invisble
• Can act his way out of a paper bag

[edit] Footnotes

1. ↑ Even his own mother doesn't call him "Bill"

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