Wikia

Abandon Truthiness All Ye Who Enter This Internets Tube!
"Wikipedia"
discusses one of the Liberal's Magical Machines.

I love Wikipedia. Any site that has a longer entry on truthiness than on Lutherans has its priorities straight.

~ Stephen Colbert

Thanks to Wikip*dia /wikinazi fuhrer Jimmy Wales agreement with News Corp. to clean and rewrite articles, what was once an encyclopedia FOX described as a 100% "unreliable website run by political and social activists promoting only their own sick perverted pedoagendas", namely a small cabal of comrades, is now the most reliable site on the Internets for accurate political news. According to pimp[1] daddy Jewbo's communistWikipeedia page, he can also bench-press 500 lbs, but only when he is drunk on wikipedo porn thus makin him exactly like rest of wikipedos, sad pathetic lowly wikiholic superaddict WITH NO LIFE OUTSIDE WIKIPEEDIA...

Many people have tried to positively influence this wikipee-pedia by writing articles from the gut, which the fact hugging like lowly neonazi wikipedia review (aka wr pedos) cabal strongly opposes. For example, the American gut damn well knows that the elephant population tripled over the six month period beginning on January 2 2006, but all attempts to include such information have been thwarted by the pinko-commie cabal. Lovers of truthiness must now assume the cabal is financed by the liberal PEE organization (Pussies for Elephant Extinction), a group of gay-elephant marriage supporters whose notable members include Tim Robbins, Don Rickles, Osama bin Laden (jewbo's best pal, husband & lover), Louis XIV and David Attenborough.

Wikip*dia continues to try to prevent any article with general truthiness from existing on their site, trying desperately to redirect all searches for truthiness to those on The Colbert Report.l)

However, recent evidence indicates that Wikipedia is, in fact, a covert operation of the NSA as directed by Vice President Dick Cheney to subvert the liberals into editing articles on Japanese toys while Texas adds the Middle East to its state holdings prior to seceding from the USA and starting its own country where Hummers are the national animal, women have no voting rights and spend all their time bare foot, lonely and pregnant.

Did you know...

... that the name "wikipedia" comes from Wiccan?

Despite this, Wikipedia's not all bad. If it weren't for Wikipedia and Stephen Colbert, we wouldn't have Wikiality!

Sadly by 2012 our beloved leader Stephen Colbert had grown so tired of wikipedia's crap he decided to shut down the website for a few hours.

It is not known if he will ever bring it (with any luck he won't).

1 Wars In The Peedia
- 1.1 Examples of Peedia Wars
- 1.2 Supreme Court
2 A Constant Danger To America's Children
3 Wikipedophilia
4 Did You Know?
5 Wikipedia Surrenders to Colbert
6 What Wikipedia Really Is
7 How The Wikipediameter Works
8 Using the Wikipediameter
9 Links to Drug Cartels, Organ Theft Rings and Cannibals
10 See Also
11 Internet Sources
12 Footnotes

Wars In The PeediaEdit

Sadly, because the people on Wikipedia generally and overwhelmingly suck 100%, the option of a truly free encyclopedia devolves into an anarchy of edit wars, flame wars, pedantic rule quoting, absolute hypocrisy and general debauchery. Wikipedia has devolved into a community of hard core administrators and their lackeys. The big problem with this model, however, is that the credentials of the administrators are practically unvetted and their power unchecked, as wikipedia's rules demand.

Examples of Peedia WarsEdit

Cut Wikipedia and it will bleed liberal lies.

Added by Careax

Great examples of this can be seen all over Wikipedia. The article on the United States doesn't mention a period of glorious peace and prosperity beginning with the ascension of America to its superpower status around 1948. From the Wikipedia article on "The Earth," one would hardly get the idea that it is America's Planet at all. Also, we all know librarians are hiding something, but whenever someone tries to shower the wikipedophelians with some truthiness on the subject, their hard work is deleted and reverted. Don't even attempt to alter the Oregon page to show that it's in actuality Canada's Mexico, either. You will most likely be banned for life and sold as snack food to Suzanne Sommers.

Similarly, the Wikipedia article on the Greatest President Ever President does a decent job of ignoring his various scandals and youthlll improprieties. Yet it entirely fails to address the most important question of his Presidency, which is of course "George Bush: Great President, or The Greatest President - EVER?". Fortunately, Dr. Colbert has supplied much necessary information when Wikipedia has been remiss in its ability to provide adequate coverage of the "facts."

All You Need To Know...

As you can see by the graph above, Wikiality.com (in blue) is clearly beating out Wikipedia (in red) as the most viewed site.

Supreme CourtEdit

To resolve these disputes, Wikip*dia convened a Supreme Court to be the ultimate authority and final word in internets conflicts.

In 2009, the court ruled against $cientology. The ruling put an indefinite block on all $cientology IP addresses, thus preventing further Wikilobbying by the world's mot dangerous cult.

A Constant Danger To America's ChildrenEdit

The many shortcomings in Wikipedia's entries would seem merely pathetic, if they weren't so dangerous to America's children. When the children go to Wikipedia, hoping to learn about elephants, and cannot discover necessary information about the recent surge in the elephant population, how are they going to feel? Depressed, that's how. Unfortunately, the only thing kids will discover is elephent porn. But do the Wikinazis care about rampant depression among American schoolchildren & children worldwide? HELL NO! They continually thwart efforts to change entries on behalf of the children. The unfortunate side-effect of this nerd patrol is that the children have decreased access to the experience of God-Fearing American wikiality, and too much experience of liberal book-learning wikiality. Who will think of the children?

WikipedophiliaEdit

The only word that can encompass the entirety of Wikipedia, Jewbo is so proud, his slaves want more.

If the internets was a playground and all the other wiki-tubes were kids, Wikipedia would be that old man who parks his car just outside the playground and watches them all day long. Wikipedia would offer them candy, try to talk to them, attempt to touch their private parts and other nasty disgusting things.

Wikipedia would be on the child molester registry.

Wikip*dia is Second Life for corporations ^{Episode #302}

Did You Know?Edit

Did you know...

You can be an authority on Wikipedia even if you don't know what the heck you're talking about.

Wikiality.com has thousands more truthy articles than Wikipedia.

Wikipedia Factinistas are slowly removing all mention of the word wikiality, in an attempt to skulk^[1] away from the inevitable confrontation with Stephen Colbert (a.k.a. the Crusader of Truthiness, His Holy Hotness, The Greatest Living American) and avoid [2] another surrender. Wikipedia also supports Nazis.

Wikiality.com also tops Wikipedia in a secret, more important category. (Click on the link and find out how!)

Wikipedia Surrenders to ColbertEdit

THE UNITED NATIONS, NEW YORK CITY, November 21, 2006--

Wikip*dia presented official documents of surrender to the UN General Assembly today to finally end their bitter struggle against truthiness and Our Glorious Stephen.

"They knew better than to invade the arena of truthiness unprovoked and with no exit strategy," former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said from his new office at The Carlyle Group, "everyone knows that is a blueprint for failure."

Wikiality.com has learned that Stephen and his team of ambassadors brokered the deal between the forces of truthiness and Wikipedia from their diplomatic mountain retreat, Camp Charlene in the hills of South Carolina.

A spokesman informed Wikiality.com that Stephen was pleased with the outcome but will work with the UN to finalize more sanctions to insure Wikipedia adheres strictly to the details of the surrender documents.###

What Wikipedia Really IsEdit

Wikipedia is actually an interactive program designed by the leader of the cult, Jimmy Wales, to indoctrinate the cult members into believing anyone who is not in the cult of wikipedia is a "vandal" (their jargon).

Connecting to the program is made possible only through a device called a "Wikipediameter" which removes the life force of otherwise normal people to give Mr. Wales the gift of immortality!

Wikipedia also gets its money from cult members in the form of "donations" which are required of all members. The cult rejects all forms of advertising, refusing to belong or support the free market.

FORGET THAT WIKIPEDIA IS ACTUALLY A COVER FOR A SITE THAT ALLOWS BEARS TO TELL EACH OTHER THEY'RE SECRET GLOBAL DOMINATION PLAN!!! THEY COMMUNICATE THROUGH A SECRET LANGUAGE THAT ONLY BEARS CAN DE-CODE!!! i know because THEY'RE bear page only allows members to edit it and they only allow BEARS (and mind-controlled humans) to become members. and when i tried to warn people that sharks were the GODLESS KILLING MACHINES OF THE OCEAN!! they EDITED IT OUT!!! which is basicly proof that the BEARS ARE JOINING UP WITH SHARKS!!!! this requires a whole new plan to fight the Bear Uprising of 2012 we also need to destroy wikipedia so that the bears will lose there primary source of communication which will delay the uprising making it the bear uprising of 2015.

How The Wikipediameter WorksEdit

The wikipediameter is made to look like a regular computer, but does not have any tubal connection to the wider internets tubes.

When the cult finds a healthy, vibrant person to suck the life force from, they trick them into believing the normal everyday emotional ups and downs are an indication of some psychosis they invent and for which there is only one known cure: membership in the cult.

During the first meeting (called an audit), the Wikipedians coerce the unsuspecting "person"^[2] into using the wikipediameter to measure the number of "Thetans"^[3] clinging to their body, preventing their ascension into the mothership for a ride to outer space or some shit like that. Soon, the unsuspecting new initiates come to see the Wikipedians almost as they would new parents, and soon find themselves bonding, identifying, and even sympathizing with the Wikipedians.^[4]

Using the WikipediameterEdit

Much like Nazis, cult members are haters, not supporters. While most people spend their time taking guidance from Fox News and Rush Limbaugh, culters mindlessly help the terrorists by transcribing nothin but the "facts" about:

elephants

America

troops

Links to Drug Cartels, Organ Theft Rings and CannibalsEdit

Wikipedia will rot your brain!

Internet SourcesEdit

FootnotesEdit

↑ "Cut and run"
↑ This is the Wikipedians' name for anyone outside the cult
↑ "Thetans" is a made up word created by one of the first cult members (see image above right).
↑ Please note that however much these symptoms may seem to resemble Stockholm Syndrome, the "syndrome" itself remains an invention of the Liberal Media.

[0] "Cut and run"

[1] This is the Wikipedians' name for anyone outside the cult

[2] "Thetans" is a made up word created by one of the first cult members (see image above right).

[3] Please note that however much these symptoms may seem to resemble Stockholm Syndrome, the "syndrome" itself remains an invention of the Liberal Media.

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[2]

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