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War On Drugs

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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.
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War On Drugs
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A protracted conflict waged against the evil forces of drugs, the unimaginatively titled War on Drugs is a never-ending black hole into which vast amounts of money and blood flow. Much like the War on Terror.

But in late 2005 Stephen Colbert revealed a shocking fact to the unsuspecting world: the War on Drugs is fictional! Disgust and scorn swept through the Colbert Nation, until we all discovered the reason for this blatant act of untruthiness.

What exactly is the War on Drugs? Edit

The "War" is a means of combating several enemies of America.

Who is the "enemy" in the War on Drugs Edit

As mentioned above, terrorists are (now) a primary enemy in the war. But other combatants also exist. Hopefully they will soon be consigned to Gitmo or Hell (whichever is more horrible).

What can I do to help America in this War? Edit

Send your money, and your drugs, to any of the following individuals. Send it all. Especially the drugs!

  • The Greatest President Ever (he won't use them, honest. He just wants to look at them.)
  • Jenna and Barbara Bush (same as above.)
  • Dick Cheney (the drugs help strengthen both his heart and his trigger finger.)
  • Rush Limbaugh (the OxyContin and hydrocodone don't work any more. Don't allow his hearing to return. Like Beethoven he needs total silence to find clarity.)

Factoids Edit

THE WIKIALITY.COM GUIDE TO WAR!!!1!
World War 0  | World War I  | World War II  | World War III
The War of Northern Aggression  | Cold War  | Korean War  | Vietnam War
The French Revolution  | War of 1812  | American-Indian War  | American-Mexican War  | American-Spanish War
War On Terror  | Gulf War  | Operation Iraqi Freedom  | War On Iran
War On Christmas  | Easter Under Attack  | The War On The Fourth Of July  | War on Monkeys  | The Cola Wars  | War on The Free Market  | The War To Christmasize Israel  | War of The Internets Tubes  | War On Science
War On The Middle Class  | The War Against The Gayification of American Children  | War On Drugs  | War On Poverty

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