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The Vice President of the United States of America runs a lot of things, like Congress, Halliburton, and the Presidential Cabinet. In order to apply for the position of Vice President of the U.S.A., one must have a strong sense of judgment and a love for freedom and democracy. It also helps to have a hankering for war, especially in the modern age of willy-nilly invasions and bombing campaigns.

The title of Vice President of the United States of America can be abbreviated to VPOTUS. POTUS, the acronym for the title of President of the United States of America (the VP's boss), is cool in its own right, but adding that "V" (not V) to the beginning gives it somewhat of a dashing, villainous flair. Vice President Richard "Dick" Cheney, currently in office, says that he likes it.

List of Vice Presidents of the United States of AmericaEdit

1. John Adams (1789-1797) -- Republican

  • Served under President George Washington.
  • Was the first Vice President of the United States of America ever.
  • Helped paint the White House. Awesome!
  • We'll assume that "Federalist" means "Republican".

2. Thomas Jefferson (1797-1801) -- Republican

  • Served under President John Adams.
  • Loved his country like no other.
  • Always got along great with his boss.

3. Aaron Burr (1801-1805) -- Republican

4. George Clinton (1805-1812) -- Republican

  • Served under Presidents Thomas Jefferson and James Madison.
  • Was a much better person than his great-great-grandson William.
  • Started the War of 1812 when one of his fireworks flew off and landed in downtown York, Canada.

5. Elbridge Gerry (1813-1814) -- Republican

  • Served under President James Madison.
  • Was one of the greatest Vice Presidents of the United States of America in history.
  • Invented the great American tradition of gerrymandering.
  • Tragically had his meteoric career cut short by Canadian riflemen while defending Manhattan armed with only a pistol and a sack of potatoes.

6. Daniel Tompkins (1817-1825) -- Republican

  • Served under President James Monroe.
  • Strove to emulate his heroic predecessor, but could never even spell his last name right.

7. John C. Calhoun (1825-1832) -- Republican

  • Served under Presidents John Quincy Adams and Andrew Jackson.
  • Only job under the John Quincy Adams Administration was to trim the president's mutton chops.
  • Refused to work with the filthy Democrat Jackson and threw his letter of resignation into Old Hickory's face. In response, the stoic president summoned his horse, saddled it, and trampled Calhoun to death.

8. Martin Van Buren (1833-1837) -- Democrat

  • Replaced Calhoun after a short delay while Jackson's slaves cleaned up the scene of his death and covered up all possible evidence to indict the president.
  • Served under President Andrew Jackson.
  • Was an evil, scheming Democrat.
  • Plotted to blow up federal buildings in Oklahoma City just to piss off the Indians whom his boss had forced to emigrate there.

9. Richard Johnson (1837-1841) -- Democrat

  • Served under President Martin Van Buren.
  • Probably pulled wings off of butterflies in his spare time.

10. John Tyler (1841-1841) -- Whig

  • Served under President William Harrison for the thirty days that he spent in office.
  • Became president after that, of course.
  • Probably killed President Harrison, in fact. He never did take a vice president himself...

11. George Dallas (1845-1849) -- Democrat

  • Served under President James Polk.
  • Founded the city of Dallas, Texas.
  • Planned to turn Texas into a liberal haven.

12. Millard Fillmore (1849-1850) -- Whig

  • Served under President Zachary Taylor.
  • Did nothing but inspire Republican cartoon character Mallard Fillmore to show how much better a duck could be than a Whig - whatever the hell a Whig is - in office.

13. William King (1853-1853) -- Democrat

14. John Breckinridge (1857-1861) -- Democrat

15. Hannibal Hamlin (1861-1865) -- Carthaginian

  • Served under President Abraham Lincoln.
  • Fought in the Civil War.
  • Ate at least 97 Confederate soldiers.
  • Eventually left the White House to seek less monotonous enterprises. He took several limbs and organs from Cabinet members "for the road".

16. Andrew Johnson (1865-1865) -- Democrat

  • Who? No, you're thinking of Andrew Jackson.

17. Schuyler Colfax (1869-1873) -- Republican

  • Served under President Ulysses Grant.
  • Had the funniest name in vice presidential history.
  • Married a girl named Brunessa Albear, and from their union, inadvertently, the monster known as the Colbear sprung. He devoured Vice President Colfax and Albear and rampaged through the District of Columbia maiming and killing at will. Unfortunately, because the District of Columbia is not a state, there was no state police or militia able to stop him. This reign of terror went on for five days before he departed to train in the Sith ways on planet Korriban.

18. Henry Wilson (1873-1875) -- Republican

  • Served under President Ulysses Grant.
  • Was stranded on an island with Tom Hanks for a few years after leaving office. According to reports, Hanks talked to him.

19. William Wheeler (1877-1881) -- Democrat

  • Served under President Rutherford Hayes.
  • Was nominated as a joke.
  • Did as little for the country as his boss, and therefore was a Republican In Name Only (or RINO), thus making him a Democrat by proxy.

20. Chester Arthur (1881-1881) -- Democrat

  • Served under President James Garfield.
  • As vice president, had the sole duty of stroking, feeding, and cleaning out the litter box of his master.
  • Another RINO.

21. Thomas Hendricks (1885-1885) -- Democrat

22. Levi Morton (1889-1893) -- Republican

  • Served under President Benjamin Harrison.
  • Was the straight man to Harrison during political sessions and slapstick comedy routines (often the same thing).
  • Started both a denim clothing company and a salt company. He later combined his two products and invented acid washed jeans.
  • Had extremely formidable whiskers - possibly the reason why President Garfield had originally invited him to be his vice president.

23. Adlai E. Stevenson (1893-1897) -- Democrat

  • Served under President Grover Cleveland.
  • Dealt with Cleveland's multiple personalities on a day to day basis.
  • Could never figure out what the hell Grover was saying.

24. Garret Hobart (1897-1899) -- Republican

  • Served under President William McKinley.
  • Would have had the funniest name in vice presidential history, but I just don't see how anyone can compete with Schuyler Colfax on that one.
  • Ended up strangling himself with a piece of cord, ironically enough. President McKinley read the succession of clever newspaper headlines about it with amusement, and reportedly the entire bulk of his body shook with laughter as he leafed through them.

25. Theodore Roosevelt (1901-1901) -- Republican

  • Served under President William McKinley.
  • Would have been appointed immediately, but had to wait for the period of mourning to end first.
  • Led a cavalry charge into Cuba and captured it in the name of the United States of America.

26. Charles Fairbanks (1905-1909) -- Republican

  • Served under President Theodore Roosevelt.
  • Founded the city of Fairbanks, Alaska.

27. James Sherman (1909-1912) -- Republican

  • Served under President William Taft...well, not under him, because that would have been lethal...
  • Invented the tank.

28. Thomas R. Marshall (1913-1921) -- Democrat

29. Calvin Coolidge (1921-1923) -- Republican

  • Served under President Warren Harding, as did most of the women in Washington DC.
  • Said little.

30. Charles G. Dawes (1925-1929) -- Democrat

  • Served under President Calvin Coolidge.
  • Insulted the Senate and the president and spread filthy lies.
  • Was hated by everybody.
  • Republican In Name Only. The bastard.

31. Charles Curtis (1929-1933) -- Democrat

  • Served under President Herbert Hoover.
  • Cleaved to Hoover's evil plot to plunge the country into financial crisis and bamboozle the nation by pretending to be a Republican like uncooked meat to uncooked bone, and there wasn't much heating to cook anything after the Great Depression hit. Thanks, guys.

32. John Garner (1933-1941) -- Republican

  • Served under President Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
  • Like his boss, joked about being a Democrat, but clearly only a Republican can save the U.S.A. from certain ruin.

33. Henry A. Wallace (1941-1945) -- Democrat

  • Served under President Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
  • Was a crappy vice president and got booted by his wheelchair-bound Republican boss.

34. Harry Truman (1945-1945) -- Republican

  • Served under President Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
  • Itched to use the "nucular option" on Japan and finally got his chance when FDR died.

35. Alben Barkley (1949-1953) -- Democrat

  • Served under President Harry Truman.
  • Was a known Democrat, but Truman was obviously just a Republican pretending to be a Democrat for laughs (Truman was actually one of the most hilarious presidents of all time for this reason).
  • His funny name still could never compare to the name of Schuyler Colfax.

36. Richard Nixon (1953-1961) -- Republican

37. Lyndon B. Johnson (1961-1963) -- Democrat

38. Hubert Humphrey (1965-1969) -- Democrat

39. Spiro T. Agnew (1969-1973) -- Republican/Democrat

  • Served under President Richard Nixon.
  • Okay, might have managed to challenge Schuyler Colfax for funniest name in vice presidential history. Maybe.
  • Watched his boss' slow descent into liberalism and the corruption of Democratic leanings sadly.
  • Was armed with some of the best insults in world history.
  • Ultimately succumbed to Democratic corruption himself and was convicted of tax evasion.

40. Gerald Ford (1973-1974) -- Republican

  • Served under President Richard Nixon.
  • Saw the worst of Nixon, now firmly under the sway of the Democratic Party.
  • Admired the Amish people.

41. Nelson A. Rockefeller (1974-1977) -- Republican

  • Served under President Gerald Ford.
  • Was one of the wealthiest vice presidents in American history.
  • Fought on the front lines of the War on Drugs.

42. Walter Mondale (1977-1981) -- Democrat

  • Served under President Jimmy Carter.
  • Was friends with the Democrat-controlled Spiro T. Agnew and probably helped him evade his taxes.
  • Inspired such modern-day politicians as Ted Stevens and John Kerry.

43. George H. W. Bush (1981-1989) -- Republican

44. J. Danforth Quayle (Dan) (1989-1993) -- Republican

  • Served under President George H. W. Bush.
  • Admittedly gave Schuyler Colfax and Spiro T. Agnew a run for their money with his full name...
  • Was the cleverest vice president to ever live.
  • Introduced the principle of equaylity to America.
  • Was hunted relentlessly by Democrats jealous of his comedic intellect.
  • Had a little thing on his head that bobbed up and down when he walked.

45. Al Gore (1993-2001) -- Democrat

  • Served under President Bill Clinton.
  • Loved violence, and still does.
  • Hated America, and still does.
  • Wanted a lockbox, and still does.
  • Invented most of the Internets.

46. Richard Cheney (Dick) (2001-2009) -- Republican

  • Serves under President George W. Bush.
  • Shot a guy in the face and then made the guy apologize to him for spoiling his shot (he was, incidentally, hunting quail).
  • Contracted the Greatest Corporation Ever to do work in Iraq and Afghanistan.
  • Is expected to bust down the President of Iran's door any day now and blow him away with a shotgun blast.
  • His heart is jealous of his greatness and tries to attack him occasionally, but he always fights it off the same way that Steve Irwin fought off alligators and boa constrictors.
  • Great vice president, or the greatest vice president?

47. Cello (2009-) - Cello

See AlsoEdit


POTUSSeal
White House
Executive/Cabinet Rank Members/VP/Trivia
is the cabinet post or job
of the United States of America


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