Vegemite

From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia

Vegemite
is too Australian for the average American.
For other things Australian, click here

un-American Foods or Beverages

Arugula Baby Carrots Biscuit Borscht Bowtie Pasta Broccoli Candy Apples Cappuccino Churros Combos E85 Gingerbread Men Kix Maggots Moose Tacos Poutine Pretzel Santorum Screw-Cap Wines Soylent Green Stem Cells Sunny D Tofu Vegemite

Vegemite, as spread on bread. Proof that what comes out should never go back in, if you know what I mean.

Vegemite is one of the best-known Spawns of Satan. It combines vegetables with mites to create a "food spread" that looks vaguely like human vomit. It is extremely popular in Australia, an upside-down giant island where everybody is drunk. Despite the well-noted similarities between John Howard, who is the Prime Minister of Australia, and President of the United States of America George W. Bush, President Bush differs from Prime Minister Howard on the issue of Vegemite. While John Howard enjoys Vegemite sandwiches, George W. Bush believes - rightfully - that it is absolutely revolting and should be destroyed.

Vegemite is not to be confused, except in terms of inedibility, with marmite.

Australians are raised on vegemite from childhood and this accounts for their massive balls. (They can't compete with Stephen, however. Stephen has the biggest balls of all. Ever. No contest.) Americans wishing to artificially increase their balls should try eating vegemite regularly, starting with a very thin layer (you can see most of the bread) and progressing to an Australian-like thickness (may result in death through B-vitamin overdose).