Vaxadrin
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ON RARE OCCASIONS IT MAY CAUSE MINOR HEART EXPLOSIONS.



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Weight Loss
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Stay Trim the Natural Way with Vaxadrin (500mg), the only weight loss medication endorsed by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.
- Side effects: Dry mouth, severe weight loss, restless leg syndrome, restless arm syndrome, restless torso syndrome
Anxiety
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Control anxiety with Vaxadrin (500mg), the only anxiuretic endorsed by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.
- Side effects: Massive weight gain
Children's Vaxadrin
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Promote strong healthy teeth in children with Children's Vaxadrin (500mg) and give your kids extra-sparkly adult teeth. "Guaranteed to grow strong, healthy teeth - often in your mouth." Remember, even though baby teeth are God's dental mulligans, adult teeth are kinda important.
- Side effects: Rage, mild Hulkism
WARNING: DO NOT GIVE TO CHILDREN UNDER 18
Diet Cherry Vanilla Vaxadrin
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It's amazing. It is also very fizzy.
Other Side Effects
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Other side effects may include: Phantom Hand Syndrome, vivid dreams of self-cannibalization, spontaneous pregnancy, increased risk of vampire attack, migrating genitals and braintooth. In the words of Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.: "Don't worry about it...". However, you should not attempt to use heavy machinery under the influence of Vaxadrin. You should also not attempt to use light machinery under the influence of Vaxadrin (although you'll be lucky if you still remember how to use a door after taking this stuff). Vaxadrin may cause mild heart explosions. Use only as you see fit.
WARNING: VAXADRIN IS HIGHLY ADDICTIVE
Legal Information
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Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.'s recommendations of Vaxadrin do not constitute an endorsement of the drug's efficacies, and Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. is not a medical doctor, but a doctor of fine arts.