User:Aaronak
has written a "Featured Article" on Wikiality.com
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For your work on the award-winning Jew Testament/The Law you have been crowned "Mrs. Colbert". Congratulations!

All You Need To Know... Aaronak is a fellow Colbert Report fan, but not one you will ever meet in real life.

Aaronak
is one happenin' Jewish cat!
Shalom, baby!

ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

Aaronak has never missed an episode of The Colbert Report. He also watches every episode of The Daily Show. As a proud member of the Colbert Nation, he helped get a bridge and a hockey mascot named after Stephen Colbert. How patriotic is Aaronak? His dog is named Freedom. No joke. He also did not forget Poland, and enjoys speaking in the third person.

He goes to Boston University, where he studies Economics and Mathematics. No one, not even him, knows why he does this.

Last November, Aaronak almost did not vote in the midterm election because he was to vote in New York's Fightin' 19th District, which had recently been featured on Better Know a District. The choices, then, were Sue Kelly (Republican but a coward), and John Hall (Communist, but with balls). Aaronak ended up voting for Hall in support of the Colbert Bump, hoping that his association with Dr. Colbert would knock some sense into him. To date, this has not happened.

Aaronak's HobbiesEdit

• Drinking soda
• Chain-chewing chewing gum
• Doing obsene amounts of homework, as assigned by his liberal elitist professors
• The user-generated website YTMND (Aaronak has constructed an edutational YTMND which may be viewed here)
• Watching the show 24, a docum-drama on FOX that presents well-thought-out plotlines, complex characters, and compelling drama
• Taking Kicks
• Naming Asses

Aaronak's Contributions to the Wikiality.com Internets TubeEdit

More You Need To Know about Aaronak
Aaronak is a Wikiality.com It-Getter
Aaronak is a Wikiality.com Truthiness Protector
Aaronak, you successfully kicked Chuck Norris's ass and are now a footsoldier in the War on Norrisism!
thisniss has given you a delicious Dreamsicle for your work on Reading!
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Aaronak belongs to Wikiality.com's Jew Club
Aaronak belongs to Wikiality.com's Nerd Club

Pages by AaronakEdit

• Jew Testament/The Law
• Merry Christmas
• Pyramids
• Protocols of the Elders of Zion
• Galapagos
• Food wars
• Confession
• Eve
• 1337

Aaronak's contributions to Truthiness, Justice, and the American WayEdit

Cardinal Aaronak is in charge of the American Inquisition. The Inquisition's continuing mission: to seek out and destroy all references to "Steven Colbert" on the Internets.

OTHER STATISTICS:

PAGES REPORTED TO THE PROPER AUTHORITIES: 20

CHUCK NORRIS KILL COUNT: 23

Aaronak
is one of the things they don't want you to know about.