The United States Army are the brave troops who protect our country from all that threatens America, democracy, and the baby jesus. Liberals hate the army, and the brave troops that allow them to sleep at night, without being raped by a bear, or blown up by a muslim. And for that liberals are awful, bad people. If liberals had their way, we would have no Army, and other countries could come in freely, and urinate on Lady Liberty.
The U.S. Army is also very protective of its soldiers, especially now that America is ruled by The Greatest President Ever!
In order to insure that the troops enjoy the absolute most secure safety available, The Greatest President Ever has spent countless hours crafting paragraph 11(a) of IAW Change 3, DoD Directive 5122.5:
“Names, video, identifiable written/oral descriptions or identifiable photographs of wounded service members will not be released without the service member’s prior written consent.”
But, it doesn't stop there! Patriotic Americans are being called (yet again) to serve their country through their computers!
From the safety of your living room recliner, any Patriotic American can do as much for the war on terror as the soldiers are doing on the front lines!
The 3rd Infantry Division’s 1st Brigade Combat Team will be coming home from Iraq to perform specially defined missions in America's
- "to provide command and control for federal homeland defense efforts and coordinate defense support of civil authorities."
The Defense Department see no problems emerging from this redeployment.
While stationed in areas that may see unrest around November 4, 2008, this Patriotic Team of American Troops shall be called "CBRNE Consequence Management Response Force (CCMRF)" nicknamed the “Sea-Smurfs"!
- ↑ "CBRNE" stands for "chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear or high-yield explosive"
- How the US Army protect us against "undesirables"
- America's New plan to create a New Army! I heard you can also use "cheat codes" for the God Mode!
- The Army is an Equal Opportunity institution
- Fox News suggests Pentagon innovative way to cut spending
- Army deserter arrested!
- Army now recruiting brain dead: Zombies may apply
- Hippie commie bans Army's trust bonding
- Colbert explains how the Army's hierarchy works
- Army to recruit more teenagers
- Army to introduce mortar blast, shrapnel injuries, bullet wounds, and cranial damage as pre-existing condition
- Fat americans to join army
- army soon to expel un-american welfare queen
- Patriotic Heroes overcome challenges
- Gay British soldier refuses to die for his country
- Commie hippies infiltrates The Pentagon! Free Market to stop Communist Agency
- Army continues to discover more hippie agents in our ranks
- Army declares mental illness an imaginary disease
- Good News! There is a new Opening for High School and College Drop Outs in the Army!
- Gays have finally taken over the army. See, see what happens when you allow them to take over?!